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Holland Apr 10
Summer nights are my favorite...

To be able to sit on a hammock
Or in a rocking chair
Feet bare, shorts barely peering through
The edges of my long tank top
And not have a worry in my mind

On a night like that
Some would have a beer
or wine by their side
But I am a southern girl
So sweet tea will do just fine

As I peer through a screened in porch
I see the sky on fire
Scorching red and orange and pink
As if to emphasize the condition
of the world around me

As I sit there
in the silence of the evening
I feel a slight breeze
Like a gentle smile
Or comforting arms around me
Reminding me there can be

No matter how young I was
Or how old I will be
I will never forget the feeling attached
To the profound subtlety
Of a summer wind
Holland Oct 2020
As I slowly opened my eyes
I saw a single ray of light
Bursting into my intentionally darkened room

As I turned to greet the day
I breathed in deeply
Letting my exhale
Penetrate the silent space

As I lay on my pillow
I saw a flutter of wings
Dance across my bed post
As if a Butterfly was waving

As a way she knew only I would see.
Holland Oct 2020
You are one man
Your blood runs like mine
Your heart beats normally
Despite the fact it doesn't work at all

You have ten fingers and ten toes
Your one pair of eyes
placed perfectly on the sides
of your sunken in face.

As I relive the things you've done
You are more than one man
And your blood runs as cold as the arctic

Both of our hearts
beating too fast for either one of us to catch

But our hearts beat for different reasons entirely...

yours with the relished feeling of power and control

mine with the anticipation of entrapment and fear

Reliving trauma, everything multiplies.
You have 50 hands
One for each time
You assaulted me with them.
Your eyes multiply
Like spiders in the dark
Your face morphing
As if it was being drawn out by a dementor

I try and remind myself
that you are JUST ONE.
You have the same amount of strength
as someone who loves me.

We are both broken, like pieces of a smashed vase
The relieving thing is,
I can superglue myself back together
But you will always stay broken.
Holland Oct 2020
Like an animal,

Your instincts are self-serving

You want to eat, you find your prey and ****

No regard for the prey itself,

as long as you get fed,

to hell with the one you had to ****

It ***** to be the one who is killed...
Holland Jun 2020
When you hold me in your arms
It's like living in suspended animation
The feeling of my heaviness
Floating away
Like an unanchored boat
Chartering towards tomorrow.
Not a care in the world

As I feel the interlocking of your hand and mine
I embrace the sensation
The connection between us
Your body heat warming my skin
Like hot chocolate on a winter's day.

My anxiety of a day's work
Collapsing in your kindness
I embrace you
Your arms...
Your eyes...
Your lips...
As if in this moment
They existed just for us
A feeling, a connection
Only experiential
Between one you
And one me

An energy transfer
Designed in the universe
Just for our two souls
Haven't written in a while. Feels good to be back.
Holland Jan 2020
to my future love:

If you buy a dozen roses
Include every color

Two roses should be WHITE
one to keep me pure of heart
one to return my innocence of mind

Two should be RED
one to remind me of the courage I've used
one to anticipate the passion of my future

One should be PINK
to determine my elegance
amongst a world of chaos

One should be CORAL
to designate my desire
be destined towards you

Two should be YELLOW
the color of friendship
One for the best friends
I presume we'll be
One for the joy
you'll see in my smile

One should be ORANGE
deemed to be the color of pride
Only one given
As a reminder to have pride
but to never be proud

Two should be PEACH
One to emphasize the sincerity of my heart
And one to remind me
That modesty is key

And one should be pure LAVENDER
to represent royalty
A rose to prove
I am the queen of your heart.

So a dozen roses isn't just flowers
It's a symbol to prove how well you know me

So pick wisely
Was trying to write a poem about the colors of the rainbow and this is what it turned into lol.
Holland Jul 2019
She takes one step
Experiencing for the first time in years,
the true sensation of what it feels like
to be utterly free
For many years she pleaded
Screaming for him to have remorse
Or guilt in any sense of the word.

No matter how much she despised him
Like Seligman's theory
of Learned Helplessness
Her many attempts to leave were smashed
By the alarmingly clear
Sense of isolation
and it paralyzed her

The same paralysis that led her to stay
Pulls her back as she prepares to leave

What would her life be like
Outside of this space she had known forever?
Did she have the will
The strength, the guts
Or would she stay in a state
of Paralysis?

She had lived in a state of fear
Long enough to forget
What it was like to be free.

She paused at the door,
contemplating the life she had lived
The fear she had experienced
And the dreams she suppressed

For once, she stepped into her fear
Embracing the future
of what she was going to do
Diving beneath the waves
To push through this invisible source
Instead of being crushed below them
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