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Buried in the walls of an abandoned house
You will find my morality, integrity and values
How can I be holy in a holocaust?
Shame has stripped away my humanity
And left me with volumes of despair
Shuttered into my wrinkled world*

Watching her smile at me from yellowed newsprint
And creased photographs in which everyone looks
The same, except for her. A haunting spirit which
Possesses even the cellulose and ink I clutch
In my trembling hands. Trophies of a brilliant life
That once snagged on a sharpened shard, began to
Unravel amidst Hope and Happiness and Honor
I flagellate myself with memories of walks and
Trips and fights. No amount of self-mortification
Is sufficient to satisfy the demons which torment
Me, nor the angels which mourn her. No penitence
Can relieve me of the yoke I'm burdened with of
Anger, Remorse, and Resentment. No purgatory
Sentence can properly prepare me for a pardon
Volumes of thought left behind in word and
Picture offer little solace to my fractured feelings
Left here to reassemble this life alone
This daunting task of overwhelming breadth
Leaves me with no answers, only the question
How can I complete the puzzle with a
Piece lost forever?
  Mar 2015 Michael J Daisey Jr
JDK
20
We sell condoms where I work,
****** arousal supplements,
and lotions.
And there's this twenty-year-old girl there
who controls all my emotions.

One look into her eyes;
two words that she says,
and suddenly I'm dying
right there inside my head.

Bury me six feet under.
This is more than I can stand.
I'm falling toward some dark abyss.
Pull me out of this quicksand.

(Maybe I should quit, or see a psychiatrist.)

I used to follow logic.
I used to be a reasonable man.
Now some twenty-year-old girl
holds my fate within her hands.

(She could **** me with the press of a button,
but she doesn't understand.)

Suicide crosses my mind too often.
Why should I die for this?
It's never bothered me before now.
I've never coveted a kiss.

I'm being ridiculous.
I just want it to be done.
I hate these ******* feelings.
I don't want to long for anyone.

(When the brain fights with the heart, it can tear a soul apart.)

There's this twenty-year-old girl at my job
who has recently found her sexuality,
and for reasons I can't fathom,
it will surely be the death of me.
Oh, to be young and in love . . .
Post ****** furnace boiling
The breeze kisses my flesh
She softly sings the sounds of bliss
Into my heaving chest
Unknown yet welcomed
The respite from heavy churning passion
Machines well oiled and primed
To deliver it's passengers through
Aeons in a few swift moments
She is my vessel and fellow traveler
Across the spiritual landscape
We have painted
Old canvas dusted and renewed
Under the Master's brush
His hand becomes mine becomes hers
Post ****** furnace boiling
New ideas, new vigor, new life
The thing that once was yet could never be
I feel again welling inside of me
Thick oily smoke rises from my soul
Invading every pore, filling every hole
Where the me I'd constructed, had once taken hold
Compassion confined to an unknown place
As I grab your cheeks and lick your face
Bound to me by your own mind
Release from me what I dared not find
Your eyes tell me who you are
They betray your deepest scar
The ***** within is pulling faster
Begging kneeling bleeding, for her Master
the things i want to say are better left unsaid
the words i write today are those which have already been read*

O, thine whip which thou hath
Braided for me
Strikes the same chord
Upon my heart

Sting, O  whip of discontent
Whip of shame
Let me know the tormentous fury
Which art thou name

O, Queen of Morrow
Everlasting Morrow
Bend thine ear
As well as thine heart
To your troubled servant

O, Discordia thy will be done
Shall I pursue this path
Towards the clearing

This broken and shattered beam
Which started as your
Beautiful dream

Thine venom hath infected
Body and mind
Blinded was I in pursuit

Of the prize which shouldn't have been mine
The clam doth fritter my mind
So close that shell, tightly bind

Protect the flesh, soft body hidden
Predators, everyone forbidden

Rigid shell scalloped in unison
Form the bond to close within

The frilly layer undulating rhythm
Soft body concealed and hinged

So perfect beneath hardened chalk
Worming tongue
Gaping mouth
Wordless talk

Oh to rest inside your precious womb
Forever bask in your rosy gloom

Hold my body with your silken lip
Precision pulse throb through your grip

Mixing Love, Patience, Hope for the world
Depositing on your pink precious pearl
The indescribable spark in those eyes
That which you cannot disguise
To glimpse or breathe or gaze
Fleeting moments to sustain my days
Innocence defined by your rebel blue
Flicked lash knows what I would do
To have your all, all I would give
Blood Love Breath, to see you live
Gentle brow to graceful cheek
Supple lines that my hand doth seek
Mouth full, sweet nectar tips
Pouty passion pulls on my lips
Fingers find fresh flaxen hair
Sensually stroking silken air
Inhalation intoxication jasmine scent
Invokes memory of Montegue's lament
For that chap did eternally yearn
Yet ironic ending, love's lesson learned
To capture the heart yet never keep
Once lost, Love leaves you to weep
I knew one day you would come
Fluid love, fleshy feel, hugs from
Wanting more than I deserve
Of your flowing female curve
Irresistible smile scars my soul
Cupid's sting has taken it's toll
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