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Nov 2019 · 135
Micaela Nov 2019
As our city breathes its crowded air, a little boy tries to stifle a heaving sob so that his *****-furious father won’t hear his lack of 11-year-old testosterone and teach him another hard lesson about being a man; six miles northeast of the boy, an undergraduate studying to be a teacher breathes deeply with self-satisfaction because eight months ago to the day he made the decision to stop inhaling and exhaling the skunk-smelling substance that dulled his own mind and hurt his chances of sharpening minds younger than his.

The two of them don’t know yet, but each stifled or satisfied breath brings them closer together, and they’ve needed each other for months—after the young man earns a diploma and the young boy earns his first locker: both will teach each other to feel proud; both will motivate each other to grow stronger; both will, unknowingly, lead each other to a resolute vitality without fear or shame or guilt because


and feel whole
and feel empowered
and feel strong  
and feel ready

to breathe wonderfully deep again and again and again.
Jul 2019 · 66
My Christian Education
Micaela Jul 2019
the true Great Teacher
lets you see
who you are

Rather than
what one book says
you should be
Jul 2019 · 83
Since when?
Micaela Jul 2019
Since when
was my reputation
more important
than my happiness?

Since when
were your morals
more significant
than my peace of mind?

And since when
did you get to decide
how my character
would develop?
Jun 2019 · 140
Micaela Jun 2019
i wish you would expose me
for the brave comment
for the snide remark
for the gentle mention
for the valiant mistake
that i am.
Jun 2019 · 201
It’s hard
Micaela Jun 2019
It’s hard
to make people

if you don’t
make people
valued and loved
Jun 2019 · 153
bed of peonies
Micaela Jun 2019
i think
the beds in heaven
will be the same
shade of tender pink
as the peonies
you surprised
my restlessly happy heart
with tonight.

and when i lie down  
in the beds of heaven,
i think
my restfully blissful heart
will crave
my sweeter,
earthly gift.
Jun 2019 · 84
Micaela Jun 2019
we finally went swimming today,
(our first time
in two years)
and the whole time just felt
like a metaphor of

you flipped me,
dunked me,
grabbed me underwater,
told me to clutch
“that cute little nose”
and hold my breath—

so that i could be
brave enough to try
something exciting
that i was afraid of.

you do this every day;
in the water,

it was much more clear.
Jun 2019 · 59
self love is for suckers
Micaela Jun 2019
how the hell am i
supposed to focus on self love
when all my fiery feelings
are flicked out of me—headed
straight down to your

and god it feels good

can i help you blow out your self love too?
Jun 2019 · 929
because i love him
Micaela Jun 2019
this is the hardest thing
letting someone else have
so much control
over my heart
because i love him

this is the best thing
letting someone else have
so much tenderness
for my heart
because i love him
Jun 2019 · 65
wilted without
Micaela Jun 2019
i thought i loved to be alone.
by myself was where i stood steadfastly

but that changed
when we first nervously
drove to a bookstore
to browse
and talk
and finally feel
better about ourselves

i had no idea how much
i’d grow
or how much
i’d grow you

i thought i preferred to be alone
but now
i’m wilted without you near
Micaela Jun 2019
i’m jealous of me
from an hour ago—
because i was the one
who got to be with you
an hour ago,

and now i’m not.

i’m jealous of me
from an hour ago—
because you kissed my nose
and you held me so close
an hour ago,

can we hang out tonight?
your run-of-the-mill kind of silly love poem because my boyfriend is at work and i miss him ******
Jun 2019 · 1.1k
words from an ex-introvert
Micaela Jun 2019
it’s official—
i hate being alone.
this isn’t a poem
it’s words
i needed to say
my negative thoughts aren’t the best of company
Jun 2019 · 44
why is it so immeasurably
Micaela Jun 2019
why is it so immeasurably
heart cracking
to imagine you
loving someone
else before you
even knew me

do you ever think
about her or
are we,
we two,
the only two you imagine?

you wrote of pain
you wrote of deep pain
you wrote of lust
of deeper love

have i penetrated
you quite as thoroughly?

(or am i selfish for asking)
Jun 2019 · 126
i don’t know
Micaela Jun 2019
maybe i don't have answers
but at least now
i'm asking questions

i don't know if i'm verbally
processing or if i just want
to talk about myself some more

it’s clumsy
it’s clammy
but it’s finally something
Micaela Jun 2019
when you fall in love,
you start to protect your lover —
you learn how to keep him safe from his heartache and his hurt.
you become his wall of happiness,
protection from unwanted intruders,

and he is already protecting you.
he has learned to defend you
against predators and cannibals
and men who lurk in shadows.
he becomes your wall of safety,
protection from unwanted intruders,

but sooner or later
love teaches him.
he learns his real job :
to protect you
from yourself.

so he destroys the doubts
and he exiles the pain
and he uproots theshameandguiltandfear
from within the walls
of your secret garden —

and he quietly grows

and he tenderly nurtures

your contentment within yourself.

then without warning
the april sun shines
he opens wide the garden gates —
the walls have been long torn down —

and your gardener gently whispers :

it’s time for you
to come
and enjoy your own paradise lost
Mar 2019 · 333
first stop
Micaela Mar 2019
i have let my life pass
me by without asking for a
the bus —
crowded with hardened men
crying, helpless children
laughing, graceful women
drifting — doesn’t
every light glimmers by—green—
illuminating my path to growth,
but my red hair
red blood
red heart
ignite the invite to

so i pull the cord
i interrupt the glares
i stumble out of the bustling confusion
i light onto solid ground

and i, beamingly,
ask myself if this is a
a start
Mar 2019 · 644
our great flood
Micaela Mar 2019
when you said
i love you
it was a dizzying accident—

a crashing wave—
leaving bubbles of a nervous laugh
and a glimmering embrace.

your gaze rapidly flashed
down, and i hid
my wonder-flooded face—

in the surge of one moment,

we were too
dazed to dive into the surf
of that torrential magnificent.
Jan 2019 · 219
you wanted
Micaela Jan 2019
everyone wants to feel wanted
and tonight i did
you wanted me and now
i’m yours yours yours

for keeps
for kicks
for ***** and giggles
for real
for ever
Dec 2018 · 971
with love, from the moon
Micaela Dec 2018
"thank you for today"
i told him because he loved on me

he flooded my day with his sunshine
rare and raw and radiant

so i reflected his beams and thanked him
and the whole world basked in our glow

i thanked him for loving my present moment, and we shared the luminous gift
Micaela Dec 2018
lately i look so sad
but i write with such hope
and i am afraid to know
which part of me i can trust
my body or my mind

i stumble back to my confusion
of blankets and realize
i'm not even certain
if my heart lies
anywhere in the great jumble
Dec 2018 · 475
On Year Zero
Micaela Dec 2018
Here I am, an Educator, new-formed
And on the verge of ideas and thoughts
That I’m told are too lofty, too grand, for their
Purposes of having students graduate at Funding’s Earliest
Convenience. Administrative charms
Have already told me not to display
Myself and my passions with honesty. I must teach
Like I am greater than them,
Like I approach our stories each
Day with a very very serious
Focus on structure and style and each
Incredibly important
Comma. But I know the Truth.
The Truth is that the richest
I’ve ever felt was when my educational harvest
Had received its lowest return. I first thought, “How shall
I punish? How shall I repay
Your bad behavior's damage with more damage? Your
Misbehavior doesn’t deserve my toil;
Your disrespect was just as bad as their
Records said it would be!” But then my reason
For anger crumbled, and I let love strengthen
My tired and trodden heart, as
I decided to speak to my students with the honesty their
Lives often lack from authority. Intentionality, Honesty, Truth. No amount of years
Will change what I’ve learned in Year Zero: to let love increase.
Nov 2018 · 13.6k
you give
Micaela Nov 2018
you give
a lot more
likes on my selfie

than you
give to my
attentive words.

i get
a bit more
sense of my self-fee--

thank you--
now i know
what you preferred
Nov 2018 · 228
femme fatale
Micaela Nov 2018
have you ever noticed that you never
see famous female poets who look
like marilyn or nicki or ari?

even the girls today whose words
are celebrated can't sell their rhymes
without selling their bodies.

i guess the new femme fatale
might be less feminist than i thought:
when your looks can ****, they ******
your ideas.

when your lips pucker like roses
and your body is angelic--
we let you take our libidos to heaven
but not our minds.
Nov 2018 · 315
i wish
Micaela Nov 2018
i don't wish to be invisible
but i wish they'd never seen me
or heard my voice.

i wish to be known and i guess
also to be loved
without anyone ascribing a sense
of beautiful or ugly to me.

i wish you would expose me
for the brave comment
for the snide remark
for the gentle mention
for the valiant mistake
that i am.

but--stop! don't do it,
my pretty face is my shield
and if i weren't so scared
i would've already destroyed it.
i would've made my invisible visible
and you would all see what i am,

don't do it

i wish i could do it for myself:
to be naked but not afraid
Micaela Nov 2018
frightened about addictions--
mine feel far less dark
because they blaze from a white

lower the brightness. i can't
bear to feel my eyes
dissolving like my dull white

— The End —