Social Anxiety
[so-shull ang-zahy-i-tee]
noun
1. A condition that unexpectedly turns the most colorful canvases gray.

it was love.

we laughed
we touched. 
we held hands
we made love
we had sweet kisses.
we spoke of beautiful things
we saw each other at our
              w o r s t


where’s that feeling now? 

                                                       we’ve become strangers
                                                       too fast 
                                                       a little too soon.

                                                       we hardly talk. 

it was love
a really beautiful
one.

c l e a r
blue skies
the air warm
the familiar smell
of the s a l t y ocean water
the gentle crashing of the w a v e s
young children rushing down to collect shells.

happy faces
old memories
familiar feelings.

I smile at myself
at how  f- a- r
  
I’ve reached.

He said she was "she"
He said he loves "she"
He said he adores "she"

She says he was "he"
She says she loves "he"
She says she adores "he"

But why does she says
and he said?
Is she really "she"
and he is really "he?"

She and he were bounded by a red string
She and he were fated with lingering
attachments to a "he" and "she"
really, they were meant to be

Bounded by fate and destiny
That...they can see
a knot of friendship
only "them" can unleash

Bounded by fate and destiny
not by love and intimacy
but by morale and respect,
and friendship so unwrecked

Before you date me

You need to understand that I'm damaged. I get triggered easily. I have struggled with things. There are nights when I'm curled up on a ball on the floor and I won't talk to anyone. I'll shut you out. I'm not going to be able to trust you for a while because everyone has always left, cheated, or chosen someone else. I need reassurance. I will need you. I will need you to keep choosing me, I'll need you to care when I text you saying I'm getting bad again. I;m a lot, I know this.

So before you think I'm always happy, that I'll always be positive, that I'll always be smiling - know the reality before you get involved. Don't enter my life if you can't handle it. Lastly, don't you dare touch my heart if you aren't ready for that.