[You] are the whisper
giving me a hope
I never want to end.

[You] are my wish
                         ­     falling
    ­     my lucky penny
in that old glass jar.

[You] are my heart
touching me deep
with such tenderness.

[You] are the shine
the word of your promise
a faithful love tune.

[You] are my sun
                       ­ light,
                      stay in my heart
forever shining bright.

The Sea and you are Sisters,
your eyes Green as she.
Her waves skip like your kisses.

Soft, rhythmic, with gentleness,
soothing my tempest.
You are daughters of the Moon.

© Pagan Paul (2016/2017)


i think my best friend
is dead

no joke
no lie
i think she has died

we haven't talked in
5 years
and i miss her like you miss
after you've been up all day

like you miss seeing
while your eyes are closed

like you miss smiling
when you're sad out of your mind

i miss her like you miss
your best friend
who has gone

i miss her like
the other half

of me

I just needed to talk about this

There once was a young girl, shy
And pretty, but unaware of her grace.
On late summer days she gazed up to the sky,
Trying to slow down worlds enormous pace.

She understood there was more outside,
than poppy fields and hazy clouds,
while most people blindly joined life's crazy ride,
she resolved to walk without the crowd.

On her untapped path she spotted a flower,
blue and lovely as she has never seen it before.
For flowers blooming in unexpected places she swore,
are the most beautiful ones holding the greatest power.

  Oct 9 Melting Butterflies

People often ask me what love is  

And I seriously don't know what it means

All I can think about is you

Your eyes, those brown eyes

Those eyes which saw me naked  

You saw every scar on my body  

Yet the only thing you said was

“You are beautiful”  

Love, I am not beautiful

Scars, stretch marks, blood, wounds

Doesn't mean beautiful

I am not an art

Yet your lips kissed me

The way the sun kissed my skin every morning

Without a fail, without any doubt

You smiled.  

And the only words that came to my mind was

"Damn, this is trouble"

My love, your words hold me like a hostage

Trapped inside an empty box, finding a way out.  

A way I can never ever get a glimpse of.

I knew that this love

Our love would last a lifetime  

Or so I thought

We were torn apart by hatreds, insecurities, confusions

Maybe if it wasn't for distance  

We would be still together, we could have worked it out

But maybe, no matter what decisions we'll make

We will still come to an end

Confused about the future

Insecure about other people

Hating each other

You, giving up

And me, craving for more

Craving for something that can fill up the hole inside my chest

I wanted you to stay forever, here beside me

But every time I would ask about it

You always said

"You deserve so much more"

You were once my everything

My other half

My partner in crime  

You were someone so freaking important to me

You were the kind of mistake, I wouldn't mind repeating

I fell so hard for you

And guess what happened?

Love, I am broken

How many days, months, years

For me, to forget

That once upon a time

You were here

I was there

Hands holding tighter

Eyes locked to each other

Hearts that beat in a synchronizing manner  

How much would it cost?

For the pain to stop

For the memories to abandon

For the feelings to fade

My love, I did not expect any of this

I didn't know that love can be deadly

A love that can force someone to commit suicide  

That loving someone means tearing every part of yourself

Now, do you think I'm suicidal?

Love, do not be afraid

I'm not going to die

Being suicidal doesn’t mean killing yourself

Suicidal means I wouldn't mind dying

I kept on dying anyway

I kept on dying at the same place I thought was giving life to me  

Because the day, you decided to give up on me

I already gave up on myself.

  Oct 8 Melting Butterflies

Finding a lover is effortless
for some people.
They only want a few things:
Someone attractive, kind,
funny or rich.

What I want,
what I desire,
is so much more.

An intelligent mind
that wakes up thoughts in me
I didn't realize were hibernating.

I want to converse, analyze and debate
without being conscious of
the sun rising and falling
between our words.

I want to make a witty remark
at a coffee shop
so he can reply sarcastically
just for me to jab back immediately
and him to comeback back playfully
until we're both laughing
stomach shaking
spit flying
the whole store staring
and we leave
without coffee

I want our hands to stitch together perfectly
like two lost puzzle pieces;
one found under the couch cushion
one found in a junk drawer
the rest of the puzzle already thrown
away but
these two pieces remain
and they fit

I want to fall in love together
then together fall in love with
art, museums, songs, poems
T.V shows, radio jingles,
greek food, backroads,
our mutual hatred for pop culture,
doing the dishes (as long as he washes and I dry)
wrong turns, piled up laundry, life.
Just fall in love with life.

I want to hurt with him
I want to save the world with him
I want to meet, see, understand
and experience all that is foreign
with him.

I feel that it will only take us meeting
and it'll only be history and happiness from then on.

It's just a matter of if a love like that could ever be
and if a love like that could ever be for me.

There is a certain Beauty in Brokenness
And Purpose in Pain.

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