Well...first I'd probably pay off all my student loans

And with the rest of the $10, i don't know.....

Chipotle or taco bell maybe?

Ever since you left
I've been getting more calls from people asking about you and everytime I had to explain that you're no longer here.
They never understood, they thought you were perfect.

What they didn't know is that the seek for perfection is what you left for, you didn't find it within me you looked somewhere else

Ever since you left,
I've been seeing you in the mirror from time to time, telling me to please, oh please cover my freckles.
But they're a part of me, unlike you
You no longer are

Ever since you left,
The place seemed emptier than ever
So i decided to fill it with everything I love and you hate
I'm making space for what my heart desires and for what you never wanted to have around

Ever since you left,
I've been wearing the pair of jeans you told me looked so weird and that I couldn't ever pull off
They're my favorite jeans now

Ever since you left
I've been growing my hair
You said long hair makes me look like a child though
I've been happier
I've been listening to slow songs you could never dance to
I've been writing and reading more,
I've been doing everything that I love



This a message to my old self
Ever since you left
I've been happier
Don't come back

debating whether i am allowed
to go out of the house at 8pm
or not
“because i might get *****”

debating whether i am allowed
to wear that skirt that goes little above my knees
or not
“because i might get *****”

debating whether i am allowed
to meet up with a guy
or not
“because i might get *****”

debating whether i am allowed
to stay at my friends house when they have older brothers
or not
“because i might get *****”

debating whether i am allowed
to go on a school trip
or not
“because i might get *****”

Do you see this?
Do you see the reason they give for a woman to not do certain things?
****.

How can we live in this world
peacefully
when we have to fear for our lives
almost every moment

A couple hours from now, as we are toasting a farewell to a neoteric past, a new year will emerge from the ashes of 2017. Like a phoenix, it will rise again, and sing sweet songs of new beginnings and manifest hope for a better year. We wait for this day in anticipation praying the months to follow will be anything but a repetition of a life once lived. We convince ourselves that we will be more productive, that we will be more active, and that THIS is the year that will change our lives. So we set New Years resolutions, we mark our calendars with exciting new adventures, we establish new goals and reimagine our old dreams hoping that in this new year, we can accomplish them all. But, for many eager and willing people, months will go by without any true transformation. And as the year draws closer to its end, they are again transfixed by old habits and excuses. Their excitement and determination will have faded into the mundanity of reality setting them back to where they were before. For a new year can’t be the driving force for change. A new year shouldn’t be the starting point for innovation. Because refinement shouldn’t be pushed to a certain date and time. And if someone really wants to revolutionize their life, why wait?

You’ll find this little poem
I wrote for you.

I forgive you.
I have already forgiven you.

Let’s set each other free
From the pain of the past.

I will live happily as I am today.
So remove all the guilt in your heart.

I hope we find happiness in the roads we take.
Cause we deserve joy in the pain we encountered.

Am I just a wheel?
Consuming meals?
A speck in blue sea?
Bound by what I see?
Life amongst trees?
Breathing means free?

Am I my beliefs?
The truth I seek?
Flag of a country?
Defined by currency?
A liability?
Part of society?

Am I what you see?
The way you judge me?
The values you pick?
First impressions stick?
Norm defined by you?
Do I dare to be rude?

No...

I am who I choose.
I fill my own shoes.
I win when I lose.
I create my own views.
I see black beyond blue.
I pick me over you.

Who are we?
I am me.
Who are we?
Depends on you.

I just murdered someone I adore,
Now I realize, I can’t handle this anymore
Right now, your stuck in my brain
Everyday a pail of tears I gain every pain.

Reminscing those memories made me feel guilty,
But, why did I did that with my own curiousity?
Yes I am crazy because of my mentality.
But right now I want to come to you for infinity.

Am I going to hell for killing someone?
That darnedest things made me my life done.
Yesterday, tomorrow, I’m living with lonliness
Stuck in a room begging for happiness.

In reality, I want a time machine to happen
So that our love can be deepen
I want to say sorry for having you killed
I    want those promises to be fulfilled.
Yes, I have my life too regretting,
Everyday I think I am too intimidating
I hope my sorry’s can be acceptable,
But I assume it will never be because of those troubles.

I am aware, that day for you we’re too scary,
Realizing that you have to much injury
Just because of my abnormality
Hatred, guilt, aroused, personality
Our story ends within a seconds
Blood and tears falling, with no response
In this world, where I’ve been,
I just want to rewind all those unseen
At the age of sixteen.
You didn’t know how horrible my story.
So please don’t judge me because of my history.

Right now, so proud of holding a gun.
With you I can start with so much fun
I looked at your eyes, didn’t know how it begun
So please come to me honeybun

Last Phrase — I love you t’ll infinity.