I was sitting quietly
just outside the city
beneath a starry sky,
contemplating all that is
in this strange 3d life
and enjoying a cool night.

Knowing that once
the night ate the day.
Then the sun ascended
in an orange expanding blaze,
reaching out to touch the blackness,
allowing the dark streaks
to sneak away.

I was slightly blinded;
Dry eyes sore and blurry
from the light a shining
as people hustled by.
It was a change you see
from my normal
nightly duties
of guarding empty factories.

Even so,
I still know
they are both
great places
to ponder the briefness
of our human existence.

when food stops being delicious
and starts being frightening instead
when dinner with friends suddenly is scarier
than walking alone in the late hours
when the tears start
just by the thought of eating with people
why is there no treatment for this
unnamed eating disorder
is it even an eating disorder?
or am I just being weird

There's nothing new I'm telling you
No rear view mirror on top of your head
There is no time to look behind
But what's ahead instead

When I looked last the past is past
Where down the drain it goes
There's not a thing you can do to bring
It back, that's all she wrote

It makes no sense to dwell on it
When it is up and gone
With each new day,  yesterday fades
With the coming of the new mornings dawn

So if you should ask about the past
I'll say what's done is done
No need to look back on what has been left
Just keep on keeping on

In my deepest darkest night
I don't need words they're so contrite
I just need someone to brave this sight
Hold me so close and tight

The one who would,  seen his light
Grew his wings and took his flight
Flew so far, his out of sight
Left me all alone in the dark to fight

So I don't need your words, they only bite
Words can be so contrite
I need someone to hold me tight
While I wage my war and fight
But everyone is scared of the sight
Of a broken soul in the deepest darkest night

It's funny how three weeks of not seeing him could change a lot of things. Three weeks of me focusing on other things, being with other people, seeking other opportunities. Three weeks of losing him to life.

I saw him, finally, after three weeks. He was truly someone I remember him to be. He had his passion and vision and charisma. He did what he loved. I had done whatever possible to be distracted.

I saw a side of him I had chosen to overlook for the past few months. One of the biggest reasons I knew I did not want to be with him, long before I even truly fell in love with the man that he is. His passion was like fire, burning through his veins and igniting the flames within me. His fire not only gives life but also burns too deep. One day the flames he put inside me will be the cause of my sorrow and resentment. Would I want that? No.

My love, you are loved and cherished, make no mistake. But just as you who decided to let go, I am now closer to letting go as well. You're about to lose me and I know that's exactly what you want and what I need.

As it is, your words cut me like a knife.
I don’t know how much longer I can take the pain.
For the next couple of months, I’m going to put aside a pill for every thing you say to me that hurts me.
And when I finally can’t take it anymore, I’ll swallow all the pills at once and end it all.
Simple

He sees his reflection while shaving in the mirror
She sees hers in a pool of tears
He reflects back on the here and now
Her on the forgotten years

Prepares his day with suit and tie
She gets the kids ready for school
This is how it is, he never questions why
She's found out old is nothing new

When did the pull of pressure replace the tug of love
And marriage bliss up and pack it in
At what point in life do you say I've had enough
When all that's left is the remember when

Chasing deadlines and deals again he's working late
Alone she puts the kids to bed
He'll get home exhausted with little left to say
How long can she go on is anybody's guess

He never feels providing for family is a crime
Her heart is under lock and key
Maybe if he'd stop for a moment he would find
That a husband and father is all his family needs

When did the pull of pressure replace the tug of love
And marriage bliss up and pack it in
At what point in life do you say I've had enough
When all that's left is the remember when

I fear every  tomorrow  
All my life it only brought sorrow

Tragedy on top of tragedy is stacked
I'm spread eagle on life's torture rake

The universe keeps twisting the screws
Will it ever be over,  haven't I paid my dues

Isn't forty years enough suffering
What other catastrophe is out there hovering

I fear the winds of change
Still I feel them just the same

For change has only ever worsened my plight
Agony always takes another bite

Look forward to tomorrow, is what is said
But I only see it in black and red