It’s so hard, my love
Hard to say, hard to tell
With you it’s something of a tale
Hard to say, hard to tell
The story of us
Hard to say, hard to tell
Sometimes I wish you could forget about me so you didn’t have to tell the stories
Hard to say, hard to tell
The stories that bring a slight twinge to your ears and eyes
Hard to say, hard to tell
I apologize that I’m difficult to get rid of
Hard to say, hard to tell

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

so i realize i cant make it better

and I want to help you

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

I want to make you feel better

but i cant

so i want to hurt myself

but that would hurt you

There are clouds in the sky,
they mass together,
just a thick swath of gray,
that blocks the sun.

I'm walking home,
all by myself,
I've been doing that a lot now,
but it's okay.

I feel the wind pick up,
the dead leaves are swirling
all around me,
like some strange tornado.

A tornado of leaves,
how interesting.
If only the wind would pick me up
and carry me off.

Throughout my windy thoughts,
one raindrop fell,
slowly from my eye
down to my chin.

I felt it fall off my chin.
The wind left a cold chill
on the wet path on my cheek;
it stung.

Then the clouds finally broke down on me.
The rain poured, but I didn't rush to leave.
I walked at the same pace
with my face lifted to the sky.

I don't mind
I don't mind
I don't mind

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at ****** are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to **** you
to **** anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art

I've never been so afraid
Hidden beneath bed sheets
and no one to comfort me

I do not understand
How to let people see me cry
I just feel I need to hide

Not because of pride
but I feel I must always be okay
But usually, I am not okay

I get lost in my head
As I lay still in my bed
And alone, I always feel

No one to help me heal.

Dripping, sinking, far from harbor
A desperate ocean, tugging
“What are you looking for?”
The sea rose and tumbled

My feet drowned in ocean water
And wet sand. The tide pulling.
My ankles- my knees
Quickly found comfort in the sea

“Company?” The salty wet
Devoured my waist then my chest
Gentle ripples reached my lips
I realized it was not the ocean pulling me in

It was my feet. Willing, walking.
To be engulfed by sanctuary
Blue-green, restless, refuge
“Just for a little while.”

My hair began to wreath. Dancing in the spell.
I was enraptured- captured
A deathly calm disguised as a haven.
What has this escape- lead me to?

My lungs choked
My fingers clawed
To find warm sand
Pull me back to shore

I’ve been lost at sea
For too long