and somehow i fell
but it wasn’t all at once.
it was slow and painful and beautiful,
and every time i closed my eyes i saw You.
when i started to unravel
you labelled me minuscule.
i am restricted to this box,
terrified of what people may think.
my throat, my stomach, everything's in knots,
and i am heaving on the brink.
lately i don’t feel okay,
my feelings by my smile betrayed.
inside i am crumpling,
i feel like im trapped inside,
i need something to free my mind,
craving the bottle cyanide,
i need help.
i begged you to stay,
but you walked away,
sapphire skies turn ash grey,
now everything’s in disarray.
tinged blue and green,
chaotic and mysterious,
to think they would glance at me,
i would be delirious.
it’s scary because when they leave,
you don’t just lose them
you irrevocably lose a piece of yourself.
you become hollow and insecure,
and somehow, you blame yourself,
for loving to fiercely.