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 Jan 2023 Megan H
Kole J McNeil
I just...stopped
caring
living
trying
feeling
eating
wearing short sleeves
smiling
giving

I started
smoking
masking
counting calories
running
cutting
crying
staying up late
making showers hurt again

I just ....stopped
Its all become too much again
 Jan 2023 Megan H
Shaun Yee
I saw him sitting on the shelf,
A little cheeky ten-inch elf,
He saw me and he smiled,
He was a little mild,
And then he disappeared himself.
 Jan 2023 Megan H
Emmy
I miss the old me
Old old old old me
Young me
Full of life me
Still
Innocent me
Now I don’t like me
I let you take me
let you break me
I still can’t face it

I miss the old old old old me
Old me
Young me
Full of life me
Still
Innocent me
Now I got scars on me
Scars on my heart
Scars on my eyes
Scars on my brain me
What do I see?
I miss the old old old old me
Old me
Young me
Full of life me
Still
Innocent me

What do you see?
See I can’t see me
Too in the dark type
Never turn on the night light
Always assume the worst type
I miss the old me
old old old old me
Old me
Young me
Full of life me
Still
Innocent Me.
 Jan 2023 Megan H
Connie Hopkins
13 years has it been that long?
since you left the beer can on his headstone
our little brother had been gone two years
as I look at your picture here
I am noticing the gray in your beard
it was there 13 years ago
it brings back my tears
sometimes when I look in the mirror
I see your face
because you were my brother
we favored one another
so, you see for me and my fate
there will never be an escape

By Connie Hopkins
Suicide
 Jan 2023 Megan H
Shanijua
I woke up today,
while the sun was at its peak.

While the blue sky was
luminous and vast, and

While the air was unconfined and hot.

I woke up to a heart, thumping and thudding
a rhythm complemented by the

Singing and swaying of the evergreens
standing ever so gracefully and poise.

I woke up breathing in a sweet air that urged to coat my lungs,
racing to encompass all that I am.

Waking up today-
was beautiful and romantic,
a love letter to my being.

It was wanted,
and it gave me the courage to long for more tomorrows.
 Jan 2023 Megan H
ymmiJ
Always There
 Jan 2023 Megan H
ymmiJ
He's always there
even when I'm not looking
or listening
or to distracted
with material trappings
he"s always listening
looking
for the right time
to intervene
by guiding
then teaching
be loving
always
He taught love.
 Jan 2023 Megan H
Robert McQuate
Flickering little flame,
guttering in your final moments,
what was once some great blaze,
now gasping your final breaths.

Lower and lower now,
blinking some kind of morse code into the Aether,
telling those out beyond the dark of your tale,
of your victories and defeats.

Of where you were and what you did,
the sights you saw and the things you heard,
whisper some more now,
little flame.

Tell them of how you started out as this little spark,
brought forth from material energy,
whose trip was a tale all its own,
summoned from the heavens to bear down,
and claim your terrestrial throne.

And oh, what a throne you held,
little flame,
rising up to conquer this world,
beautiful yet terrifying,
horrifying and baroque,
a destructive force that would sweep the board,
and set up the pieces anew.

You smolder out,
little flame,
accompanied by a little whisp of smoke,
a sad but appropriate epitaph,
to mark the end of your reign,
a glowing ember all that remains,
which disappears soon after you.
 Jan 2023 Megan H
Robert McQuate
Thousands upon thousands,
Twinkling lights thrown up upon the sky,
Little islands of white out in the distance,
Oceans of black separating them.

Each so far,
And yet so close,
Reach out and never touch them still,
The Galaxy arm spanning the gap,
Marking our tiny place on this big ol' map,
A tiny island all our own
 Jan 2023 Megan H
Laura
sometimes i think i’d be easier,
if i drifted away so slowly
that i don’t make a shift or screech.
just a click of a door, the floor board
creeking into the night, creeping,
like my writing at dawn stirring,
soft, wistful, and depressing.
i can leave, don’t worry about it -
i know i exist so violently, i like to.
people think i'm off-putting -
they want me to eat my words,
but i just keep typing more and more,
im hungry to disrupt and find peace after.
Emily says i know better,
but i only know a few things, like
i’m annoying and loud, opinions
bustle out of me in vexing prose -
i want to be a good listener,
but i’m selfish. i want to be likeable,
but i’m stuck in muds of misery.
losing the best parts of me
to insecurity and the instagram bots
that like his posts before i do.
how can i compete with algorithms and
softer blondes, waves that glide so gently -
i am a car crash, the intersection preacher,
the storm before the calm, but the calm too.
i want to disappear, i want to be gone,
but there’s always something left to say.
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