opportunities
                           can snap
                              at the end of
          the show
  all their promise
                     full of heart ache and fear


dreamed of
          glimmering

the cost
                  will
be covered in white carpet

oh no, the burning of
the throat for which the great horn bellowed
years and years of
imagination twitch- twitch- twitching
to reach the heart maybe reach
the gun of thirsting hot
treated misused hot twisted--
but at last
s
  t
    r
      e
         a
             m
                    s s s s s
they know even when
you are drowning you are still
soothed and it hurts and it is pure
so just relax
              relax
              relax
so many smooth
streams

at 11:47 your breathing
dropped slow
a sandbag underwater
drifting

I could hear the seaweed beneath your chest
my ear against the thin layer of skin
a raft protecting me from those
dark depths full of mystery
and angel fish

I couldn't imagine
diving
then we had that talk
the air was making my fingers stiff
I paced the sidewalk
and you were 20,000 leagues
under the sea

But I know there is a treasure chest
full of books
all hand written
by you
all that emotion, all those thoughts
they have to go somewhere

12:53
When you move to your side
I slide back to
land
my eyes filled with salt
from keeping them open
at your side

that's fine
I like blue
at night --I'm just the buoy
dipping and bobbing
in your arms

dreaming about the day
we can swim to shore and
ring out our shirts
and let the sun
brown our dried out skin

to be sure
        completely
     "You could play"
                         said
the sharp
  
      turn for the worst
   back in line with
              the long run

when her toe hit the wood
                the nail split in half
                                                            ­                        in the center
                                        cracked just right
                                                     so when she applied pressure
                                 on her leg to be straight
                                                 up and down stretchy muscle
       the split
       splintered
                   and while falling she pumped
                                            air through her fists, open and closing
                                                         ­          maybe for the tan bar which
                                                           ­                         she could command in practice
                                    which she demanded now
                                   yet the stage was only the light and
                                                             ­                                              pieces of wood
                                                            ­                                                           and nail
                                                            upon­ landing the crowd gasped
                                                          ­             in entertainment
                                                   ­             at how graceful feathers
                                                        ­           flew from her mouth
                                                                ­     black and flawless
                                                        ­                            like the lace of her costume
                                                         ­                                                         envision­ing a swan
                                                                ­                                                   a crow
                                                            ­      it didn't matter at all
                   both could fly
                    but they had wings
                                              and she had faults, deep deep tremors
                                                 opened wide on the great black valley
                        coughing up feathers
                        when she wanted tears
and the crowd just stared
some smiling some surprised
                       all without blinking
                                     when the legs decided to extend some support
                       the mistake took root and gave her a rush of
shame
                               which allowed her to fly
                                          [briefly]
         ­        behind the curtains
                                                        ­                      like the crow
                                                            ­                   like the swan
                                      after the silence
                                     of awed mouths
                                                          ­gushes of applause
                                                        ­                           for the splintered tiny dancer
                               who tried to show the world she
                                                             ­    had something to say
                                                         but instead only managed to
                                                             sprinkle the audience with
                                                            ­            a few feathers.


They all gave it
rave reviews

Hold me
like the branch holds the new snow fall
supported, content, each knowing the others role

No
not like a dying man holds a raft at sea
I am not your savior
I cannot resist the weight
I sink too

Hold me
like a mother who feels the weight of her baby's blue eyes
deep, connecting, gentle

No
not like an addict holds the needle
I am not your answers
I cannot control your shakes
I get lost too

Hold me
like a man so in love he will never let go
committed, strong, encouraging

No
not like a boy searching for a puppet to play with
I am not lifeless
I cannot be controlled
I lead too

I will

cut those strings and run
to watch the mother holding those baby blue eyes standing knee deep in snow while the man who holds her hand will never let go

greasy.fatty.fulltoofull.sodabubbles.brownbrown.dressing.lettucet­omato.bread.fattywattypattypack-onyourstomach.fried.grilled.toast­ed.microwaved.unwrapped.boiled.fingersandforksandspoons.
jeansare­tightpushitaway.letitbe.waitabit.waitlonger.okbackagain.greasy.fa­tty.
lotsandlotsandlotsandlotsandlotsandlots.Idon'tlikeourmirror.­Idon'tlikethatimage.
nowayisthatme.letitbepushitawaywaitwaitwaitw­ait.

"What can I get for you?"

*"nothing"