The tears I shed are cold
While my body begins to burn up.
I crawl into my mind
And hide in the corner
Of my cortex.

As I ****** fresh tears out
I shake in reaction to the force
Of my broken-down body.

I can't help but feel this way,
It's just a part of my
Biology.

When you say sorry,
I only think of one thing:
K A R M A
It comes back to bite.
So, you better get ready.
'Cause karma's a *****,
And she doesn't play nicely.
I'm sorry, my dear.

I may be quiet,
But my mind screams out words that
Can destroy your world.

I feed the wolves with my hostility
And shred to nothing but pieces of guilt.
I make it through by a falsified truth
And breathe in the ecstasy of escape.

I’ve entered myself in a marathon
Where the asphalt has turned to burning coal
And my opponents are faceless creatures.

The sky has been painted orange and pink,
Swirled and deformed it mocks me of my pain
And clenches my lungs so I cannot breathe.

I can’t say how long I have been running,
But I know I am stuck here at the end.
The coals beneath me have finally burned
And sweltered what I should have fixed long ago.

My lungs are burned, scarred, and black from the smoke
I have breathed in for years; I cannot speak.

My ankles have collapsed on me, and I
Begin to burn and sink into the ground;
I have become faceless.

Here I burn in the *** of coals alone,
The time bomb attached to my heart will end
And I will never be able to finish
The marathon: I will fail you once again.

I lift my face from the coals and look up;
In the demonic clouds there is a light,
Translucent and yellow, I swear I can
Hear your voice amidst the sky:

“I won’t stop until I can reach and get
This off of my chest; a sense of direction
To lead you home again. You can run from
Your problems, but you cannot run from yourself.”

I throw the coals into the burning field
And ****** my body back to the beginning.

I promise you I will come back and regain
Your trust.
I understand I have promised and broken
You far too much, but I swear this is real.
I hope you can see the light that brought me home
And embrace me once again.

I’m running home.

And when you fall down
I’ll be there to pick you up
No matter the odds

All I can hear
Is the smoke lingering
From your lips
And all I can smell is the
Shame in your green eyes.
In this musty, muggy,
1920s style loft
On 34th street.
You lock yourself
In the bathroom in hopes
Of finding peace within
This loft.
Your mascara, it weeps
Down to your chest
And over the scars you have.
I've seen you sleep on the
Tile floors of the bathroom
Sometimes it's hard to
Know if you're alive.
But your voice echoes
And I hear it down below.
I can never look
At this loft again:
All I see is you,
Reflected in me.

The sky is falling
And my head is spinning.
It's the apocalypse,
And I'm on my own
This time.
Prepare for battle,
They say
Behind iron walls.
Arm yourselves
And protect your loved ones --
If you have any left.
No room for tears
No room for fear.
It's just me, myself, and I
In the middle of
The apocalypse.
The apocalypse
Created by me,
And destroyed
By only me.

You wrote me a note,
Inside is your name, signed here
Outside are your lies.

And within the sky
is a cherry blossom
that blooms, blooms
to its fullest.
Release and catch the petals
as they fall down your face.
Listen for the wind,
it may have a secret to tell.
Open your heart
and your soul will follow
close behind.

I’ve learned to fly now,
But my wings soar back to you;
Like I never left

My mother asked:
"Write me a poem for your old lady,
So I can hang it on the fridge."

I couldn't tell her no-- how could I say no,
To my mother?
My mother and I sit across each other
In this corner jazz cafe on 31st Street.
She sips her latte as I scramble to write some words for her
On this napkin.
Occasionally she looks up at me and stares with her green eyes
Staring, staring staring at me--this paper, her coffee.

I don't even think what to write for her,
I just write, write write---and write
The poem that will be on her fridge door of 30 years and 9 months.
Here is the poem I wrote for my dear mother of 57
I lay it on her lap and bolt out the door without hesitation and smile with content:

*You're as dark as your coffee,
And cruel as the winter wind.
I'm not your child.

It was another rainy day,
Down that old Brooklyn road
That you consider home.
Each raindrop that of music,
It creates a beat around you.
And makes you flow
To rhythm of the Monday’s.
You don’t need an umbrella,
For you want to hear that beat,
And create your own Monday music.

You light up my eyes
And electrify my heart
But you don't exist

You could say I have
Everything plus some extra,
But I have nothing.

The pain I feel now
Only comes when I see you,
Not when you leave me

And all that is left,
Are the bittersweet memories
Of what we once were.
And though I hate you,
And the person you share
Your life with--
Deep down I love you,
And that will never change
For as long as we both shall live.

The sound of the sky falling
Brings wonders to what we know,
And what we have yet to learn.
The tears it drips down
Earth’s face shows that even
Science has feelings.
Such a simple idea,
But we as scientists cannot grasp
The thought of opposites becoming one.

Much like a child, we pester science.
Science is quiet,
Never speaks his mind.
He’s a mystery
We’ve been trying to solve
For many long centuries.
He just sits in a corner
And never speaks a word to the great.

The Earth’s tears startle
The scientists around me;
They have no time
To hear science’s cry
And pain for love.

Science is a child stuck in motion.
All he can do is learn
To watch others learn about him.
Earth’s cries grow deeper,
And begin to pour.
Pouring down is all we’ll ever know,
And pouring down,
Is all we’ll never know.

I may be broken
But the ones who are broken
Are the most loving

You look but don't see,
Hear but don't listen,
And touch without sense.
I can taste you now,
You taste of regret
And feel dry inside.
I drown and struggle
To release myself
From reality.
I'm alone with you,
But I need you now.
Because I am you.

The heart is a time bomb
That tick, tick,
Ticks away.

Alone
Here I stand
In a train car
Leaning against the wall.
Cold, rusty, and rough
I hear the wind
Whip by me.

Alone,
I stand still.
The life I live
Passes by me now.
Gloomy and somber
As the weather,
I am gone.

Alone
The ground shakes,
Knocks, and rustles
What is left inside
Of my poor heart.
I am gone,
Alone.

You are my danger
I am your security
Together we are
Each other's own destruction
We love without care
And hate with all the passion
You are part of me
And you are a part of me
Don't leave me stranded
I need your fire inside
And you need my waves
To carry you far away
. . . And so this is love

My head is damaged,
My body is the story,
And my feet stay still.

Here lies a story
Of an abandoned ship, lost
In a sea of guilt.

There is peace within
The eye of a rageous storm
Fly through to find it

I grew up poor and dreamed of being rich.
Surrounded by drug lords and black magic,
I survived by blending in and hiding.
I was the shadow under the black sky
And an exposed, timid child in the sun.

I couldn't tell you how many times I had
Been told to drop dead and focus on what
This hellhole had for me in the future.
Without my dreams, I wouldn't be alive
To tell you the story about the past.

My father abandoned me and my mom
And left his cigarette stains on the couch.
He left my mother to rot under the
Influence of alcohol and *******
And never looked over his cold shoulder.

I've died twice-- once for my unborn daughter,
And the other for my own sanity.
Maya keeps me going and thriving for
A better life and for my happiness.
Still I Rise-- and even though I died twice,
I've risen to the occasion of life.

Focus on me, I have no regrets now.
My past has died, and here I still stand up.
I've died three times now-- third for my past life.
I am rich now. I have it all and more.
Don't try to find me now, I have moved on.

My past has been murdered, beside my heart.

Here is my offer:
I will give you all my love,
For just your presence.

I breathe in your soul
And breathe out my own toxins
And repeat again.

In my hand are pieces,
Pieces of you,
Pieces of me,
Pieces of life.
My hands are heavy
From the weight
Of our lives
Resting in my palms.
Try as I might,
I can't let them go.
These pieces,
Pieces of you,
Pieces of me --
Are my life.
My palms are the puzzle,
And you are my pieces.

It was here that I found God.
Behind the alley
And between the cracks
Of this 19th century town.
I am as broken as these bricks
That hold up generations
And create secrets.
It was here that I found God.
Cold and dark I lay
And stare at the stars.
He talks to me here,
Only in this alley,
To remind me I'm not alone.
I close my eyes and give in
To the moment.
It was here that I found God
At the bottom of the bottle
And the liquid in the needle.
I listen to Him one last time,
And it's here He tells me:
There is no God.

This is my favorite part
Of the story
About a lover
Who knows how to love
But knows nothing
About beauty of another

Paragraph two:
Your eyes glisten like
Wet rocks in a pond
And your energy shines
As bright as the sun
--- O but ye might be cold
Deep inside your hollow body
What language moves
You?
Does your heart pace
Like the bongos in the corner
Of my bedroom
--- O but mine does
When you aren't around

No, no, this is my favorite part:
Paragraph 3
--- You're not real

The highest note
On the piano
Stings my skin
And awakens my bones.
I imagine it’s the sound
A star makes
When it bursts
In order to be born again.
The galaxy will turn white
As the notes on a piano
And fragments of black
Will be left over.
The burst may be scary,
But the true fear comes
With the black left over.
And it’s far too late
To prepare for it.
Because all we worry about,
Is the burst of a star.

Under the moonlight
I flourish and shine so bright
But fade in the sun

The future scares me
All I see is nothingness
And that gives me chills

Your pulse runs through me
Like a ravenous sandstorm
And stiffens my bones.

Away my scars fade
And latch to my skin and veins
And stay in my head

my little coffee bean,
with your hard exterior
and bitter insides,
you bring me much joy
and life
that no human can produce

Within this passion
There is a price to pay;
Now, please, let me go.

And you said,
"Be careful with my heart"
But when were you careful
With mine?

I saw myself through you.
Your heart filled mine,
And you said,
"Be careful with my heart"

My heart was full,
Full of regret.
Full of you.
But did you ever see me?

And you said,
"Be careful with my heart"

I was perfect for you,
I took care of your heart.

I was so perfect,
That I lost my own heart
Somewhere inside
Your fire.

What remains of my soul begged,
"Release me from your heart"

And you said,
"Why weren't you careful?"

Under the moonlight
I think about what life is
Without the sunlight

Love lasts forever
Only few can see the truth
Behind those with scars

To be high on life
Means you must learn to let go
And embrace the new