I broke my fingers
From trying to hit you up
Why won't you call me?

my little coffee bean,
with your hard exterior
and bitter insides,
you bring me much joy
and life
that no human can produce

When you say sorry,
I only think of one thing:
K A R M A
It comes back to bite.
So, you better get ready.
'Cause karma's a *****,
And she doesn't play nicely.
I'm sorry, my dear.

To be high on life
Means you must learn to let go
And embrace the new

Under the moonlight
I flourish and shine so bright
But fade in the sun

I may be broken
But the ones who are broken
Are the most loving

You light up my eyes
And electrify my heart
But you don't exist

And when you fall down
I’ll be there to pick you up
No matter the odds

I’ve learned to fly now,
But my wings soar back to you;
Like I never left

The highest note
On the piano
Stings my skin
And awakens my bones.
I imagine it’s the sound
A star makes
When it bursts
In order to be born again.
The galaxy will turn white
As the notes on a piano
And fragments of black
Will be left over.
The burst may be scary,
But the true fear comes
With the black left over.
And it’s far too late
To prepare for it.
Because all we worry about,
Is the burst of a star.

My head is damaged,
My body is the story,
And my feet stay still.

Your pulse runs through me
Like a ravenous sandstorm
And stiffens my bones.

There is peace within
The eye of a rageous storm
Fly through to find it

All I can hear
Is the smoke lingering
From your lips
And all I can smell is the
Shame in your green eyes.
In this musty, muggy,
1920s style loft
On 34th street.
You lock yourself
In the bathroom in hopes
Of finding peace within
This loft.
Your mascara, it weeps
Down to your chest
And over the scars you have.
I've seen you sleep on the
Tile floors of the bathroom
Sometimes it's hard to
Know if you're alive.
But your voice echoes
And I hear it down below.
I can never look
At this loft again:
All I see is you,
Reflected in me.

Within this passion
There is a price to pay;
Now, please, let me go.

The future scares me
All I see is nothingness
And that gives me chills

I breathe in your soul
And breathe out my own toxins
And repeat again.

You could say I have
Everything plus some extra,
But I have nothing.

Under the moonlight
I think about what life is
Without the sunlight

This is my favorite part
Of the story
About a lover
Who knows how to love
But knows nothing
About beauty of another

Paragraph two:
Your eyes glisten like
Wet rocks in a pond
And your energy shines
As bright as the sun
--- O but ye might be cold
Deep inside your hollow body
What language moves
You?
Does your heart pace
Like the bongos in the corner
Of my bedroom
--- O but mine does
When you aren't around

No, no, this is my favorite part:
Paragraph 3
--- You're not real

The pain I feel now
Only comes when I see you,
Not when you leave me

I met you
And my stars aligned.
The Suns and moons kissed
My cheeks so lightly
And tenderly.
It was then that I
Found myself, as well.
I saw light in the moons
And darkness in the Suns.
I held my heart out to you
And you kept it
All this time.

The end is near now
And your angels have fallen
To the depths of hell

Here is my offer:
I will give you all my love,
For just your presence.

My mother asked:
"Write me a poem for your old lady,
So I can hang it on the fridge."

I couldn't tell her no-- how could I say no,
To my mother?
My mother and I sit across each other
In this corner jazz cafe on 31st Street.
She sips her latte as I scramble to write some words for her
On this napkin.
Occasionally she looks up at me and stares with her green eyes
Staring, staring staring at me--this paper, her coffee.

I don't even think what to write for her,
I just write, write write---and write
The poem that will be on her fridge door of 30 years and 9 months.
Here is the poem I wrote for my dear mother of 57
I lay it on her lap and bolt out the door without hesitation and smile with content:

*You're as dark as your coffee,
And cruel as the winter wind.
I'm not your child.

I blacked out
Under the moonlight
And saw the sun
Engulf my cold skin.
How can this be?
I am blind,
But just in the eyes.
I can see
With my hands
And touch the waters
That flow inside me.
I've never been so happy
To be blacked out.
I am alive.

You wrote me a note,
Inside is your name, signed here
Outside are your lies.

And like eagle's wings,
I flow through the windy sky
And whisk through the clouds.

You are my danger
I am your security
Together we are
Each other's own destruction
We love without care
And hate with all the passion
You are part of me
And you are a part of me
Don't leave me stranded
I need your fire inside
And you need my waves
To carry you far away
. . . And so this is love

It was here that I found God.
Behind the alley
And between the cracks
Of this 19th century town.
I am as broken as these bricks
That hold up generations
And create secrets.
It was here that I found God.
Cold and dark I lay
And stare at the stars.
He talks to me here,
Only in this alley,
To remind me I'm not alone.
I close my eyes and give in
To the moment.
It was here that I found God
At the bottom of the bottle
And the liquid in the needle.
I listen to Him one last time,
And it's here He tells me:
There is no God.

I drink with regret
And search for the piece
I left inside the bottle.
My message to you,
Is to forget what
I told you to do,
And walk away from this life.
Don't let the message
In this bottle take
Over the life you desire.
The message reads:
"I'm drunk, keep drinking"

You look but don't see,
Hear but don't listen,
And touch without sense.
I can taste you now,
You taste of regret
And feel dry inside.
I drown and struggle
To release myself
From reality.
I'm alone with you,
But I need you now.
Because I am you.

And all that is left,
Are the bittersweet memories
Of what we once were.
And though I hate you,
And the person you share
Your life with--
Deep down I love you,
And that will never change
For as long as we both shall live.

I grew up poor and dreamed of being rich.
Surrounded by drug lords and black magic,
I survived by blending in and hiding.
I was the shadow under the black sky
And an exposed, timid child in the sun.

I couldn't tell you how many times I had
Been told to drop dead and focus on what
This hellhole had for me in the future.
Without my dreams, I wouldn't be alive
To tell you the story about the past.

My father abandoned me and my mom
And left his cigarette stains on the couch.
He left my mother to rot under the
Influence of alcohol and *******
And never looked over his cold shoulder.

I've died twice-- once for my unborn daughter,
And the other for my own sanity.
Maya keeps me going and thriving for
A better life and for my happiness.
Still I Rise-- and even though I died twice,
I've risen to the occasion of life.

Focus on me, I have no regrets now.
My past has died, and here I still stand up.
I've died three times now-- third for my past life.
I am rich now. I have it all and more.
Don't try to find me now, I have moved on.

My past has been murdered, beside my heart.

And you said,
"Be careful with my heart"
But when were you careful
With mine?

I saw myself through you.
Your heart filled mine,
And you said,
"Be careful with my heart"

My heart was full,
Full of regret.
Full of you.
But did you ever see me?

And you said,
"Be careful with my heart"

I was perfect for you,
I took care of your heart.

I was so perfect,
That I lost my own heart
Somewhere inside
Your fire.

What remains of my soul begged,
"Release me from your heart"

And you said,
"Why weren't you careful?"

In my hand are pieces,
Pieces of you,
Pieces of me,
Pieces of life.
My hands are heavy
From the weight
Of our lives
Resting in my palms.
Try as I might,
I can't let them go.
These pieces,
Pieces of you,
Pieces of me --
Are my life.
My palms are the puzzle,
And you are my pieces.

I have a heart of gold,
And veins of ice.
My soul is silver,
And my eyes are copper.
My skin may rust,
And my eyes may fade,
But my heart stays warm--
Even after all this damage.

Here lies a story
Of an abandoned ship, lost
In a sea of guilt.

I may be quiet,
But my mind screams out words that
Can destroy your world.

The sky is falling
And my head is spinning.
It's the apocalypse,
And I'm on my own
This time.
Prepare for battle,
They say
Behind iron walls.
Arm yourselves
And protect your loved ones --
If you have any left.
No room for tears
No room for fear.
It's just me, myself, and I
In the middle of
The apocalypse.
The apocalypse
Created by me,
And destroyed
By only me.

And within the sky
is a cherry blossom
that blooms, blooms
to its fullest.
Release and catch the petals
as they fall down your face.
Listen for the wind,
it may have a secret to tell.
Open your heart
and your soul will follow
close behind.

The heart is a time bomb
That tick, tick,
Ticks away.

And on this starry night,
She sings with a love
That the whole world
Can breathe in.
Her face is soft,
And reflects off
The big blue moon.
Her lips tender and warm,
She sings on this starry night.
Bliss and muse fill the clouds,
As she lays under this
Starry night.
And so, she sings away,
On this starry night.

These scars may change how I look,
But they won't define me
As a human being.

One day, when my children ask
"Why are there so many marks
On your left arm?"
All I will say is
"Life is a never ending pain"

Away my scars fade
And latch to my skin and veins
And stay in my head

Alone
Here I stand
In a train car
Leaning against the wall.
Cold, rusty, and rough
I hear the wind
Whip by me.

Alone,
I stand still.
The life I live
Passes by me now.
Gloomy and somber
As the weather,
I am gone.

Alone
The ground shakes,
Knocks, and rustles
What is left inside
Of my poor heart.
I am gone,
Alone.

Within this cold day
Hides a beautiful warm soul
That no one can see