I've been having thoughts lately,
of a future, MY future.

You are not in this future,
you aren't even welcome in the present.

I've tried and tried to push you out
but you just aren't getting it.

I tried bringing in outside help,
restraining orders and cops at the doors.

But you came back and now we're back together,
you waited until the protection was gone.

You pulled me right back to you- you *******,
I was finally thinking I was strong enough on my own.

I want to break up.

I want a divorce.

I want my mind back.

I want my LIFE back.

My darling you are stars..

Millions of small bits of light
Each one representing a laugh
A tear, a memory
Sometimes the stars expand,
They explode without reason
This can be painful,
The formation of a new star
A new spot of light.

When you are up close
All you can see is the light
Just the one star, it takes all focus.

But wait until you are brave enough
Brave enough to take a step back
To look at all your points of light
The good and the bad
Take a look at your life
Your galaxy, only then will you see
The big picture
All the points connect
They create something
Beautiful
Something uniquely..
**You

When something happens in my life-
I tend to make it worse.
Dig myself a deeper grave.
Maybe it's self sabotage.
I get what I deserve.