Hearts and minds meld in the land between worlds. Memories dissolve where receptiveness leads the soul on a journey of its own. There are no signs or directions here; no use for what you knew before.  Open your hands; there is no clinging to fear in this place, for what you had known no longer exists.

Fill your lungs, close your eyes, and propel yourself into the unthinkable.

You may just learn to fly.

I ran from demons
across my life,
through the forest
of my dreams,
down a path
which had no end,
or at least it never seemed

I walked,
I ran,
I swam,
I rowed,
across a sea
I never owned.

A wall appeared,
forever each way.
No forward,
no back,
I turned to face my prey.

My hands
began to shake.
My breathing
stopped.
Eyes shut tight  
and opened once again.
To my knees,
I began to fall
only to face
a broken mirror on the wall

You held me in your arms and my eyes leaked the memories of your soul

One step forward, two steps back
I step left and you step right
One step closer,
in the dark of night
This dance we do
It goes on and on
It never seems right,
And it ever seems wrong
Round and round,
It goes round and round
All of my life,
I have never found
Another
Who I’d ever
Dance with so long

I know you can hear me
When my eyes speak to yours
I know you can feel me
When I can’t give any more
Hold my hand; please make it stop.
One step closer, in the dark of night

So many years we’ve done this dance
From friends to nothing to sweet romance
It tears me up and it spits me out
How I just want to die
Or to scream and shout
But I’ll never give up, till the day I die
I will pray one-day
We won’t live this lie

                                   ……….anymore

Just another body
Just another boy
The day still goes on
The sun still rises
The stars still fill the sky
Than why?

Just another body
Just another boy
The world still turns
The leaves still fall
The flowers still grow
Than why?

Just another body
Just another soul
Just another body
How was I to know?

The sun shines not as bright
The stars are now all dimmed
As day falls into night
Leaves still fall
Spring still arrives
Yet, the flowers
                           have all
                                         lost
                 ­                       their scent

You are the grin across my face
the one I can’t explain
the yearning in my soul
I can’t seem to tame

You are the tear
in the corner of my eye
the ache in my body
the reason I sigh

You are the reason I dance
when the music plays
the reason I could curl up in bed
and stay there for days

You are the reason I reach
for the highest rung
You are the lyrics
after the song has been sung

I am the thought buried deep in your body
the one that makes you smile
I am your curious question when your mind wanders
the itch you cant quite reach
your warm moan with the first sip of coffee
your sigh with a swallow of wine
I am the chuckle as memories dance in your mind
the desire to teach
and the craving to learn
the reason to keep walking forward
and not look back
I am your yes
I am your maybe
I am your not and never will be



        .........alone.

Another day, another chance
The broken road, that continues on
Pain, and the joy of when it leaves
Fantasies which hold more truth than reality
Lyrics when the music is missing
The music when the lyrics are missing
Friends who are family
Family who are friends
Refillable glasses
Refillable hearts
Refillable lives
Silence, which speaks
The joy of children, young and old
The dented, scratched, crooked, redefined, unconventional....
                                                     ....... beauty of Love

Surround me with songs and a love that touches
…my heart
                    …my soul
                                       …And my body

Let us dance to the rhythm of our hearts beating,
                       as the memories run down our cheeks
                                 for worlds to come

Love me in silence and screams that only we can hear

A love that makes me drop to my knees and pray again

Visions confusing our hearts and our eyes
The past and the future, tangled and tied
Green is not green and blue is not blue
Love can be false and love can be true
Its not what it seems, so how can we know
When to give in body and soul
Buried so deep, up comes a voice
You may have thought that you did,
But there’s really no choice
Surrender your self
Give in to its rise
Just for the moment
Get lost in his eyes

To tame a wild hare at sunrise,
to catch a star
as it shoots across the sky
or stop a tornado
by grabbing hold of its eye.
Yearning of heart
doesn’t hold it still.
Ah, but to love it
and quiet it’s will,
would be to dance with the wind
and make love to the moon,
inhale the flowers,
relish honey from a spoon.
To lay one’s head,
but to rest
in a lap
warm and secure,
cradled in love
forever to endure

Down on my knees, I have been there before
Defeated and broken with no where to go
I won’t go there again, no I won’t
I won’t go there again, if I go up in smoke

Determined and gritty and dryin my tears
Standin up proudly, I’m stuffin my fears
Deep in my throat somewhere there’s a growl
I’m gunna find it, find it
I’m gunna find it, find it
I’m gunna find it, find it
Somehow
I’m gunna find it
Find it
Somehow

Up through my bones and out of my mouth
Comes the cry of survival in loudest of shouts
Just tell me no and I’ll rally and stand
Its time I became my own biggest fan

Determined and gritty and dryin my tears
Standin up proudly, I’m stuffin my fears
Deep in my throat somewhere there’s a growl
I’m gunna find it, find it
I’m gunna find it, find it
I’m gunna find it, find it
Somehow
I’m gunna find it
Find it
Find it somehow

If love never comes from outside I know
It can grow from inside and then start to glow
Like a beacon to others, letting it show

A team of strong soldiers diggin down, diggin deep
If no one comes save us, there’s no need to weep
Just tell us no and we’ll rally and stand
Its time we became our own biggest fan

Determined and gritty
Start dryin those tears
Stand up proudly,
Start stuffin your fears
Deep in your throat somewhere there’s a growl
You’re gunna find it, find it
You’re gunna find it, find it
You’re gunna find it, find it
…………………………Somehow

Behind closed doors it hid
like a ghost,
always there
From behind closed doors it bid
Like the wind
It would moan
Remember me it would cry
Don’t forget
Always know
Don’t regret
Till you know
Why I hide behind closed doors

Oh gypsy soul where have you taken me
You have dug another hole and it has shaken me
There is no time
To even rhyme
The way you run and hide

Oh gypsy soul is it really your goal
To stand alone without a home
Unencumbered,
Tethered to another
Just to hear the silence of the night

Oh gypsy soul where did you go
To be standing all alone like this
Pick up your hurt
And pocket your pride
There is so much more waiting inside

Openin’ your heart
I know is not smart
But smart doesn’t warm you at night
And smart doesn’t glow
Down deep in you, soul.
From another who’s been lit by your fire

Standing alone isn’t really a home
As much as you’d like to believe
You may just rise higher
Feeling that fire
Than you ever could
flying solo

Standing at the helm
of a boat set adrift,
looking forward into the mist.
Hearing a voice,
sounding proud
No, I can’t turn around,
heart starting to pound,
knowing too well
who’s hand
touched this boat
who’s hand
set me afloat

From each day that dawns
and melts into dark
on this spinning ball
we all make our mark,
I give Thanks

For each day in my life
in which I ‘ve been blessed,
bones from my bones
and flesh of my flesh,
I give Thanks

For the journey I walk
in which I know not the path.
with all of its love
and all of its rath,
I give Thanks

From each day that dawns
and melts into dark
for family and friends,
inspiration that sparks,
I give Thanks

It starts with the eyes, slowly, as they roam over each detail of your being, the colors, the textures and the details mapping you into my memory. I want to feel you, taste you and listen to the sounds that utter from your glorious luscious mouth. Heady from breathing in your scent as it swirls around outside and inside of me, I shut my eyes with a moan and inhale again like the cravings of an addict making you a permanent part of me. If this moment never comes again I will forever hold it within me to cherish and remember.

Clinging through the night
Lost in pain we hold tight
Nightmares, broken promises
A hero and a nemesis
Through right and wrong
Whimpers set the song

Rising in the heat of it
Falling into screams
I want to drown in your eyes
And sink into my dreams

Strong as the sun
And the wind in a storm
Shivering, not cold
Just want to get warm
Right Now

Standing on the edge
Of where I could fly
Yet wanting to curl up
And just die
Right Now

A familiar place
Recognizing the pain
Vowing I will never
Be back here again
Right Now

Thought I was smart
Thought I had learned
Protected my heart
But here I returned
Right Now

Curled in the corner
Liked a scared injured creature
Life can be
Such a merciless teacher
Right Now

Tomorrow I will stand
And raise up my head
Take a jump off that edge
See how high I can fly
………….Just not, Right Now

Find me a corner of the world, she said
Where tears turn to streams
And the flowers it seems
Burst with laughter, the song of birds.
Where the sun shines bright
And beholding the sight
Of the wings on butterflies unfurl.

Find me a place to lay my head
Where the stars they twinkle at night
To hear the breeze blow, softly and low
And the full moon warm for light

Find me a corner of the world, she said
Where the fears of the day, wither and stay
Far away
From the dreams in my head

A small finger traces the outline of your body
Memorizing each bump on your skin
Eyes closing
Lost somewhere in only the touch of you
Smiling
Not allowing years of hidden yearnings
To gush and flow without control
A tear leaks from the corner of a grateful soul

Deep is the color of ice
As it builds and grows
The warm red of the days gone by
Grey, hardening the color of steel
White where the time has lingered
Shutting out
All that we feel
Yellow as the sun shone upon it
Feelings strong and so real
It jags to the left
Then sharp to the right
Not able to decide
Which way to grow
Freezing harder in the night
As darkness hides the warmth from its face
It grows
Harder
And colder
In this love lost place

A tender finger strokes down an aged cheek, as loving eyes stare deep into familiar pools. The mind sees far behind them into dark brown wells. No words are needed; they have never been needed. Tears slowly blurring the windows through which life gazes; knowing; always having known; somewhere inside…
                                         .... If wishes were horses, then beggars would ride.

Green, red, red and green
Bangle, jiggle, twinkle and sheen
Rush and tumble, hurry and pay
Have they are all forgotten
What the point is this day?

Rushing past the man on the street
He who is huddled with nothing to eat
Sitting so quiet, tryin’ to keep warm
As he tucks in his legs away from the swarm

Blue day, Black day, black and blue
Green paper flying, silver coins too
White snow flying resistance of few
A man disappeared under the snow as it flew

Green, red, red and green
Bangle, jiggle, twinkle and sheen
Rush and tumble, hurry and pay
Have they are all forgotten
What the point is this day?

Presents and wrapping, bangles and bows
Shiver and shaking, shoes with no toes

Each laugh filled the air and landed onto the canvas; sighing with a pause, the colors smoothed into pools of feelings and ran together with the tears.

The world disappeared around her as she cried tears of color, dripping from her brush, lost in the music and the sententious of deep purple.

Different languages, different voices
They choose the letters with different choices
Some large, some small, some short some tall
Written on books,  signs or the wall
Drawn with ink, drawn with lead
From hands alive, and those who are dead
They turn and curve,  jut jagged or straight
They sooth your soul or wake you at night
By themselves they don’t live
By themselves they don’t care
Locked inside of each stroke
A threat?... or a prayer?
A bit of your soul
On the paper you’ve penned
Will they calm or incite
Or maybe  ……  just end?

You opened your arms and looked at me
Faster than a stone I sank
All the walls tumbled and I closed my eyes
Faster than a stone I sank
Your lips on mine and I craved more
Faster than a stone I sank
You walked away without a word
And faster than a stone I sank

She writes like the wind
To nobody there
Or so she thinks
There is no one to care
Sshhh don’t tell her
We all feel the same
The invisible people
Who all play this game

So many parts, so many pieces
Brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces
It flows from your heart and out of your hand
Sometimes depressing, but somehow so grand

She’s not alone, nodding our heads
A knowing grin reflecting her back
Look in the mirror, there’s a whole Pack

Some talk in riddles, some talk in prose
Smiling and thinking ….. how little she knows

The whisper of your voice soft in my ear
Sends me to places surrounded by fear
Tingling my nerves, erecting my soul
Begging you tell me
Which way to go

Surrender is not a choice
A given, a gift, mumbling my voice
The strongest of persons
Normally or so
Begging you tell me
Which way to go

Be careful with my heart
So easily bruised
It has been damaged
And so badly used

You have pushed the right button
And found the right key
Eyes fogging and lowering a knee
My heart is pounding
I give you my all
The strongest of women
Is now feeling small

Love comes in…
All the colors of the rainbow
Orientations of the mind
Temperatures of the body
Emotions of all of time

Love comes in ….
Soft as a feather
Hard as the steel in your will
Hot as summer
Cold as a mid winters chill

Love comes in …
And Love goes out
In with a kiss
Out with a shout
It rattles your nerves
Shakes up your soul
Confuses your brain
As to which way to go

Dichotomy of the ages
Struggles of the world
Life’s history of pages
Mans flags are unfurled

Bringing life in and taking it out
Making us cry and making us shout
What else pumps the blood and weakens the mind
Nothing in this world does any of this kind
To live without love
Or jumping in deep
None unaffected
We’re all loosing sleep

Bright, bright reflections of light
As it recoils off on the cold, cold snow
Somewhere beneath
The earth is warm
But how were you to know

Hidden deep
From the glaring light
It held the power to grow
A knowing hand could have had the might
To dig
Deep
Within the cold, cold snow

Its tender wonders may never rise
And who would ever know
If faith and love does not reach down
Deep within the cold, cold snow

Rain from tears, the warmth of a smile
It may take a while
Will it burst from it’s shell
Its tender soft shell
Or die in the cold, cold snow

You crept into my soul
As much as
I wished it wasn’t so
Between gasps and tears
Between swears and cheers
As much as I wished it wasn’t so

One day you were there
Growing inside of the life
I thought was mine
But God has other plans….
Sometime

Acceptance comes in small doses
Unlike declarations from Moses
Bad time, good time, what does it know?
When it snuggles into your body to grow
If wishes were horses
Beggars would ride
If wishes were horses
I wanted to hide

Three months you had grown
Three months I had known
You had grown in my heart
In My Life …
Were a part

Life takes its turn
Lessons to learn
Sometimes they’re good
And sometimes they’re just…
Lessons you should
One day I must…..

Forgive myself
For ever not wanting you

Always been there
For so many years
Eyes blurring
And filling with tears
I vow, not again
Please don’t tear me to shreds
No more hopes
No more dreams
I wish I were dead
It’s so hard to say no
But only to you
So hard to say no
And feeling the fool
My shoulder is tired
From all of your tears
Shed for others
For all of these years
They’ve not been for me
As much as I’d prayed
The time that we’ve spent
How I wish you had stayed
I vow once again

Determination sings!

Wiping the tears


And then……….  
              
                                            …..it rings

The sun peeked out from the ground as it rose, crawling between the grass and the leaves, it grew, long and slender as a dancers arms, reaching, long fingers growing nearer. Slowly the warmth caressed her skin as a soft sigh uttered from somewhere deep in her body, a smile growing along her gentle face. It wove itself around her form chasing away the chill, body relaxing and melting in it’s tenderness. She raised her head as it kissed her delicate skin, the darkness behind her eyelids brightening. One deep breath and the day begins ……….

I come before you, my soul naked. Only you can see the cracks and the crevices, the scars and the tears, the corners that I hide in, as you wait patiently for me to emerge.

Without asking, you know the things that I am not brave enough to utter, my hopes and dreams I dare not speak for fear they will only become disappointments in the wind ……you know.  

I pray Dear Lord that you armor me with strength to fight the demons inside and soften the hard edges from scars so that I may open myself to others without fear of the consequences, remembering you will be there when they are too difficult to bear.

I pray you might fill my heart with love to overflowing so it might spill out everywhere I go and share what others seem to have lost, or never felt before.

I pray you will fill my eyes with light and a smile so bright it will light the darkened alleys of others lives……..including, my own.

In the dark of the night
In the silence of tears
The forever longing
Of all of our years

We turn to the skies
Pleading for peace
Whispering soft
As lamb’s new fleece

True as the dark
It speaks through our soul
It lives deep within us
It's part of the whole
You know what to do; there’s really no choice
After the shock, we hear our own voice

Each beating heart, is a part of our own
Walk in it’s body
Live in it’s soul
See through it’s eyes
Watch life take it’s toll

Until you have suffered
You know not what is
Until you have nothing
You truly can’t give

Take me whole
With all that I have
It is yours to keep
Till the end of my life

Broken and bruised,
Scraped with scars
Gained while fall’n
Looking at stars

Glued together
By forever dreams
A little bit tattered
And torn at the seams

Dreams for the future
Dreams from the past
Dreams that come slow
Dreams that came fast

Sparkles in my eyes
To see in the dark
A laugh to use
To create a new spark

With you I am home
My heart finally safe
For you are my love
And you are my Life.

Take me whole
With all that I have
It is yours to keep
Till the end of my life

Turning away for fear you might see the pain and hurt in my eyes, looking to the heavens and begging for the strength not to cry as they begin to dampen and flood; staring at the passing cars in desperate distraction. Silence… the only language I can speak as words choke in my throat and dissipate into my heart. I fear you will never know them. I cannot compete with her memory. If I could replace her limp body with my own and give her back to you, I would, but I cannot. All I can do is sit, sit in …..silence.

Somewhere tucked back in a corner of my heart is the place I hide all, which I do not share; a collection of secrets and hurt and love, too strong to visit often.  A place of quiet, of joy, of pain; a place of safety which no one can touch, but I. Preserved for the life of my heart which grows along with each beat.

In the quiet of the night, in the quiet of the day, they call sometimes, “Come visit us, we know you like no other, like no other ever will. We do not judge, we only feel. Come laugh, come sing, come cry.  We are you, we are the beating of your soul, the throbbing of your body, your dreams, your fears, the truths inside your mind”

Of Nannies ‘n houses ‘n Pink Flamingos
Cars ‘n clothes ‘n foreign lingoes
The rich hate the poor, the poor hate the rich
Did you see “Her” today?
Boy, she sure is a *****.

How did they get here, a chauffeur you say?
‘Cause Mom and Dad are Always away.
They remembered her birthday
Or so said the staff
A party, a clown
Just make her laugh

The rich hate the poor and the poor hate the rich
Did you see “Her” today?
Boy, she sure is a *****.

He stood on the corner outside a shack
Schoolbooks in hand, his lunch in a sack
He remembered his birthday
Or so said his mom
His dad wasn’t drunk
Just tired ‘n run down.

The bad hate the good and the good hate the bad
Did you see “Them” today?
Boy, they sure did look sad.

All the dreams and the dollars
Or missing of such
Builds a foundation or makes us a crutch
Better built on kindness, compassion and love
Understanding that all are the same from above

We all hurt the same deep in our heart
Forgotten, abused, life plays its part
Dressed up in spangles, bobbles or beads
A yard full of flowers, garbage or weeds
Under the crust is a person who bleeds

The bad hate the good and the good hate the bad
Did you see “Them” today?
Boy, they sure did look sad.

Sound asleep he dreams tonight
Holding a truck of red
Brave and strong, he’s a fire to fight
Safe in his own warm bed
               Safe in his own warm bed

The stars at night
They come and go
Bringing our dreams so sweet
Across the dark they ebb and flow
Praying one day we meet
To hold them tight beyond the night
Takes a will of steel and wings to fly

When life seems so far away
From that which we see in our sleep
We close our eyes and chance to dream
Finding new visions to keep

Sound asleep she dreams tonight
Holding her baby doll sweet
A family so close, a family so tight
Close near a fire for heat
                 Close near a fire for heat

The stars at night
They come and go
Bringing our dreams so sweet
Across the dark they ebb and flow
Praying one day we meet
To hold them tight beyond the night
Takes a will of steel and wings to fly

When life seems so far away
From that which we see in our sleep
We close our eyes and chance to dream
To find new visions to keep

Sound asleep he dreams tonight
Young and handsome and smart
A life that is perfect a life that is right
With a woman to share his heart
Now that she’s gone
He just can’t hold on
His eyes close forever in sleep
                       close forever in sleep

The stars at night
They come and go
Bringing our dreams so sweet
Across the dark they ebb and flow
Praying one day we meet
To hold them tight beyond the night
Takes a will of steel and wings to fly
a will of steel and wings to fly

Down a dank and ***** street
Where hopelessness and pain they meet
There huddles a child so all alone
Between the tears he calls it home
Each day a fight
Each dawn to night
Just to stay alive

A fight to find a scrap of bread
A quite place to lay his head
To dream of more does not come by
Between the tears he stops to sigh
Each day a fight
Each dawn to night
Just to stay alive

To feed the soul is needed more
‘Tis that not what life is really for
A crust of bread, a loaf so sweet
Two arms that care, a smile to greet
Each day a fight
Each dawn to night
One cares you stay alive

Down a bright and lovely street
Where wealth and riches brightly meet
There huddles a child so all alone
Between the tears he calls it home
Each day a fight
Each dawn to night
Just to stay alive

He wakes to find rich loaves of bread
From the loveless place he lay his head
To dream of more does not come by
Between the tears he stops to sigh
Each day a fight
Each dawn to night
Just to stay alive

To feed the soul is needed more
‘Tis that not what life is really for
A crust of bread, a loaf so sweet
Two arms that care, a smile to greet
Each day a fight
Each dawn to night
Someone cares you stay alive