when it hit you home.

you’re eyes closed at shutter speeds,
when the heart sinks,
or sank.
and each blink individually,
starts to take a second of your life from me,
frivolously.
and your mind focuses,
but like a broken lens,
you nictate, nictate,
like you’re stuck on repeat.
and you dictate the aftermath,
like you have admitted defeat.
as cynosure slips from your fingertips.
the closure in the locus.
you spoke to me in hindsight,
and you spared me in the moment.
still glowing, albeit, caliginously.
you described the bright lights in defiance,
lying sweetly,
in a conversation, in constellations,
i’ll remember you in full bloom;
in keepsakes;
we wished to the the stars aligned,
shining flowers for you in the nights sky.
whilst you fought for your life, in kind.
high as a kite, twinkle in your eye,
as you guide your life
away.
still in spite,
of your perdition,
the latest addition of you.
when i see you in ruin.
through the body as it mortifies,
and your fortified smile,
tortured denial,
a defiant forcefield,
shatters and eviscerate,
and as you evaporate;
i see your lips crack through dryness,
my queen and highness;
i’ve not seen you laugh for a while.
and as I see time pass,
from you astute,
a calmness in your eyes grew,
and now when you belly laugh,
you gasp for air,
it’s as if,
not much is inside there.
as you stutter and stammer,
judgement impaired,
scared.
and yellow coloured,
tinged skin,
bed ridden
in affliction,
to me,
to you.
as it dawned on me
and then it dawned on you.
when it finally hit you home,
nothing left but skin and bones,
the final petal of a rose,
fell.


**I still miss you.
I miss you still.
I always have,
always will.

Could of been your fool,

It could of been me,
or it could of been you,
I never knew it then,
but I could of been your fool.

You had this attitude
that was pretty rude,
I pictured you in platitudes,
but the latitude cut right through
the altitude,
and you just slipped right through.

Now you long for the truth,
and
i’m,
just
long in the tooth,
who knew then, that,
if we didn't pretend,
then I,
could of been your fool.

Flying above you
where the air is thin,
there in;
I cast the final sin.
Simply defined,
it looks like you win,
again,
&

I’ll always be your fool.

the dark, the death, the knight

through a smudged sense,
of reflections in the mirrors,
obscure those never-ending sinners,
amongst us, losers and the winners.

The path pathed through tranquility,
in pilgrimage with the night.
Darkness passed and daylight spoke,
the sharpness slice of spikes.

A mellow calling forms storms,
the meadow's yellow namesakes.
Nameless reverberation heard,
between the birds and bone breaks.

It takes more than Haven,
in the afterglow of the last laugh.
the paths crossed shards of glass,
the waters ***** from the back splash.

In the aftermath of white noise
and the tyrants rise in silence. ,
mother nature defeated the motherland,
and the whole world sang together
in alliance.

When you appear to disappear,
a near miss in the atmosphere.
The patterns clear,
and what’s happening here,
Is the same things still,
after all these years.

Talking **** again.

Now you're back again,
acting as if nothings happened,
and,
your trying to laugh it off again,
as if were best friends,
but I can’t pretend this won’t be a repeat like last time.

Telling lies again.

When actually,
this is just your favourite pastime;
you’ve been missing in action for weeks.
No message to check i’m ok.
No call on my birthday.
Now you’ve got the cheek to call on me,
and fall on me,
as you can’t stand on your own two feet.

Drunk again.

So don’t act surprised,
like you don’t know.
When you phone you meet the answering tone.
It’s too late too atone now that i’m all grown,
Maybe you’ll find out now what it’s like to be alone.

**Never again.

I loved you before the alcohol,
Hourglass to the soul,
hour pass,
days maybe...
in between the formulation of golden nuggets in the mountains silver sands.
You held my hand and through velvet touch,
Electricity meander through my arms,
before the storm calm,
the start of a heart attack -
then the pack of house of cards collapsed.
In a deserts smile,
you flatlined through our favourite past times.
The pastures rich with buttercups
and dandelions like the last time.
When we walked over the train tracks harvest.
Last summer and last spring.
Somethings are everlasting,
and some pass like storm clouds without one droplet of rain,
in casting,
our love grew like tulips,
Yellow, red and blue,
bruises,
but soon come the rain,
our muses loses,
&
rendered useles;
I went away and
It's too soon to explain myself,
For that.
Back,
with cap in hand.
Lost in hearts melted by false starts,
and feathered cap,
Falsetto moods
sharp stilettos,
slap back.
I couldn't let go when the sun came through,
and a calming parting of the clouds where the rain came blue.
I thought I could live without you,
but I bottled it,
again.
Now I've nothing left to give,
but my gift to you.
sinking, sleeping in the land dunes
trying to understand you.

Icicle heart

I can't tell if it's cold outside
Or
I'm froze inside.
Icicle heart,
melts to raise the sea levels,
Then we drown in tears,
defeated by fears,
we see Devils,
The water is clear,
but crimson cold.
Your
cool calm and collected,
so level headed,
After all this years,
It's the apathy you feel
that makes fools of us.
Now there's swimming pools of regrets,
when
Icicles melt.
A cologne of shame,
pungent in the air,
carried by breath,
to pollenate the common class,
this
Icicle heart,
can never last
at least without
changing state
as
the landscape moves like a bad mood,
but the worst has passed,
and we backtrack.

Scrap that,

Take me back to the start,
Dinosaurs,
reptilian nature,
evolutions mistake,
Are you down for me and
My icicle heart,
melts into the stream,
and down the river it seems
an estuary divides us,
as we reach the sea,
impeach beliefs,
and the buoyant
keeps
my
icicle heart,
afloat,

I hope you feel me.

and
however it may seem,
you were nothing less
than a  dream,
nothing more than a
drop in the ocean to me,
and
my
cold cold icicle heart.