I swear to god I have been digging a tunnel inside my body since my very first day on earth searching for things like personal interests and self-love, things like happiness and creativity, the few things in which separate humans from each other, things that make it known that we are ourselves and no one else, but I’ve been searching for my
whole
life
looking for what makes me who I am
looking for what separates me from every other teenager figuring themselves out as well
but what if there’s nothing to find
what if it’s all for nothing
because I have no idea who I am
and I think I’ll I feel this way for the rest of my life

i'm not filled with stardust or galaxies like you might want to believe, and i don't have flowers growing in my ribcage or constellations in my brain. i'm blood and bones and flesh just like everyone else, except these bones are hollow and this flesh is torn and scarred. these scars are not beautiful or unique and neither am i; i'm just a girl with shaky hands and pale skin and a tendency to self destruct. my eyes are not the forest or the ocean, they're dark and hollow caves filled with fear and regret that have seen more than they should've but hopefully one day they can see the light again. there's no sunset in my veins, it's just blood that's been spilled onto the bathroom floor too many times in a desperate attempt to reach any last bits of hope buried inside of me. i'm not a hurricane or a tsunami or any natural disaster; i'm only ******* human and before i become a metaphor i just want to feel *alive.

Hope to be the dancer
Bag of meat
Actuality
Reality
What's the difference?

Keep up this charade
Tell your secrets
Say you're naked
When you're nothing
Without whatever
Belongs below the waist
The waste
The taste of nothing
Is so loud.