Ooh...this... just an amazing grace note
     recalling how I felt like an ***
and wanna toot 'bout me getting steered
     (as a heavy metal kid Rocker)

     toward befriending a brass
see gutsy, *****,
     and MainLine snooty upper class
action button down

    (grace fully slick as vaseline), airily glinting
     forcibly hawked, laundered, and pawned
     by the instrumental
     Mister Deangelo O'Donnell, High School

     (mud flapping, ornery hearing,
     and quid juicing Ska Welch ching)
     music teacher oompah crass
tone deaf when aye trumpeted desire

     to master the Coronet
analogous to pursing lips
     blowing tightly held grass
blade between two abetted,

     cinched fastened opposable thumbs,
which tooting a supposed aural aphrodisiac
     to attract a zaftig well proportioned lass
     (ideally shaped like a miniature Tuba)

with one steel funnel like mouthy mass
that probably explains, how such a gal
     could easily emulate
     ****** pucker earning pass

to illustrious honorable first chair
and blasts gratitude akin
     as Gabriel would declare
heavenly expressions conducting

     angels thru atmospheric ether
alighting on mortal ushering melody
     with rites of harkening
     springtime Renaissance Faire

solar rays golden raiment
     splays rainbow fragments off
     beveled, bellowed, and
     bedecked polished flare

audiological sound waves trick
     saw toothed reflected
     silhouetted orchestral shadows
to dance as conductor's baton gear
musicians horns ensemble
     epochal feast to hear.

(a quid pro quo plug for zaftig women)

women that tip weigh ling needle to spin vicious circle
     akin to puppy chasing her/his tail
     or require digital scale,
at the extreme alt right registering heavy
     ba Jill 'en Jack knifed pail loads  
     whether young or old ought to be appreciated

     not waifer thin self starved as a rail,
instead they suffer unfair injustice
     like a trapped quivering quail
thus this fatalistic, generic,
     and holistic landlubber
     wanted to point head lee
     hammer home one secure
     heterosexual ******* stronger than

     omnipotent Marcy's Playground
     weather beaten pail
     Trent Reznor's sixty 9 inch rust free steel nail
into the coffin of bias
     against bevy of beautiful babes
     within the mind of this male,
who inherited genetic predisposition
     for being average, hearty and hale

yet feel compassion for those engaged
     in an ongoing with battle of the bulge,
     hmm... perhaps hiding ample *****
     akin to milky sopping wet grail
or accepted unequivocally themselves
     without envy of lithesome women,
     who seem to possess flair with nary a flail
     yet possess much love to avail,

and tis wise to love oneself unconditionally
     despite premium aesthetics considered svelte
which mass media accentuates de facto spelt
definition of femininity aka runway models
     donned in faux animal pelt
whose deliberate self exhibition
     prompts madding crowd of man

     to waggle tongue with slack jaws  
     as if ready to melt
or at instantaneous signal telepathically felt
drop drawers upon removing blackbelt.

(just in time for summer reading...
recounting emotionally disastrous campy turbulence)

Amidst a raft of fellow (Brandywine Valley
     Y.M.C.A) resident campers
     who, didst excitedly quiver
donning a "NON FAKE" lifejacket

     coursing down swiftly
     moving Youghiogheny river
(evidenced by small hairs along spine),
     that caused me animatedly to shiver

this predisposition prevailed despite
punishing revenge didst stamp excite
me inducing suppressed
     giddiness to take flight

against self toward parents,
     who did light,
a conspiratorial idea
     countered meek self spite

compared to their hefty might
forced me to attend ("dumb")
     sleep away camp
     for about a fortnight

whereupon, being dropped off "bright"
brainchild idea awoke around edge,
of my consciousness,
     where figurative hatchet cleft a wedge
vis a vis, an immediate

     avowed personal pledge
sworn against experiencing even
     one iota of fun (a ha...so there) ledge
er domain mental prestidigitation
     could not dredge

countervailing loathsomeness naysaying fun
in any weigh, shape or form
     pertaining to this sole son
but, matter of fact

     adventuresome giddiness gave run
     for metaphorical psychological money,
     and much to my chagrin
     gleefulness didst stun

into silence malevolent
     anti yippee surge
crept into the noggin of this
     chaim yankel and could not purge

this meta static Grinch,
     who could not steal away
     euphoria that inevitably didst emerge
unable to root out,

     and suppress nemesis foe
men ting misery, but an inescapable glow
manifested when father
     and mother end of Jeff session

     came back, and said "hello"
when, and I immediately replied with emphatic "NO"
in regard to having a good time oh
mitt ting like a lump pin pro

let tarry yet exerting will
     power to asphyxiate
a faint bubbling of attraction
     toward a darker skinned

     slender cute teen age girl
though at that stage
     oblivious how to create
friendship, thus aye

     vividly recall to this date
hop scotched potential summer romance
     which induces regret to emanate
cursing forsaken ill fate

now, feel deplorable
     for stifling relationship
     slid into behavioral sink (of this got
     ham) fore'r tortured
     within iron barred gate.

Preface:
Aye do attest
that poetry may not be best
to express whoosh to chest

*** a lee till bitta chump change
boot an overpowering literary force
   to pocket earning for a grange
(hmm...who knows maybe

   formerly owned by Jessica Lange
thence might be within my financial range
even though this har chap
   moo cho decades older
   than college student - iz that strange?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Half hearted GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST--- or
subtitled (IN PRAYS OF LEGAL TENDER).

Let this dog gone prime mate
   ova simian sketch out
   his general doggerel to free
unleashing a swiftly tale lord
   of the flies - harried styled

   brush stroke of strengths
me retracted claws, which might find me
   barking up the wrong tree
   arf find yarself cat a tonic lee taking a nap
   in the land of doctor ah zee.

akin to a termite expending energy
   thru wood to bore search sans income
   an arduous slow book king chore
   thus, i spruce quest per
   my non-conformist poetic
   je ne sais quois x cell lent

   cover letter de jour 4u2 access and for me
   to entertain as a minimum less or more
and then...whoosh into  
   circular filing cabinet ye will store
this non-formal reap ply,
   which email will take cyberspace tour.

Pixar could nada pay enough
   for this trainer of apple chomping antz
so i wonder if any chance
   whisker of employment
vis a vis thru this contrived virtual toy story,
   qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize opening virtual community chest

   into a likely monopoly winning chance
such an idea generates me
   to shrek out with excitement n contra dance
just in case a glimmer prospect exists
for this self anointed bard,
   and one who dislikes formality
of zee mainline presents
   a brief poo whet tick summation
   sans technical skills,

   he hopes to enhance
p'raps earn enough moolah
   to sight see arc d'triumph,
   Louvre, Paris France,
   i offer the following poetic expression
   for ye to take a glance
and help this intuitive **** sapiens income
   to expand and en-hance
which byte size bit torrent humor
   without use of strong arm, nor lance

   might cause ye to soil pants
after misinterpreting mishmash
   as twittering er
   angry bird raven rants
even part time income exists
   worth considering, sans positive stance
   a subtle intent worth hiring 2 sway
   au currant series electronic charge
and ideally affect hypnotic trance.

I betcha never red poe sting “FAKE”
   job seeker i.e. this faux
   iambic pentameter electronic wire
   from a boyish looking blood muggle
   father although up in years
   (whose nonpareil courage
   to face Voldemort never does tire)
and two young adult daughters
   (gnome hatter they flew the coop),

   would consider him a worthy hire
nada necessarily to rake in gobs
   of legal tender, nor
   to satiate unquenchable hunger
   a pawn game of thrones lifelong player,

   boot if someone would pay me to reed
ah...a twofold objective would be a blessing
   both slaking thirst plus acquiring knowledge
   specifically powerful bits
   of computer know how to acquire.

Although this cover letter of sorts
   conveys teensy weensy, itty bitty
byte size actual work experience
   (per this older rhyme stir,
   who lives ~ 40+ miles

   north west of philadelphia city)
nonetheless, i hanker
   (NOT to be confused with HACKER)
   though disparate deeds offset
   by difference of third letter
to employ computer

   and writing skills,
   squarely rooted tidbits of moxie
   playing at nearby Roxy
burrow, which prompts
   the following ditty
expressing interest to apply mental tasks

   micro electronic aptitude trouble shooting
some may ascribe as nitty gritty
on par with secret life of Walter Mitty
whom destiny protected and took pity
this merely meant to be silly
   yet also my feeble attempt tubby witty.

No matter how many miles by car
(actually your company might be
   within dead man walking distance)
   opportunity would not be considered far
to use acumen huck cull interest
   and technologically spar
+ graphical user interface programs
   to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.

Iambic pentameter might be faux pas
   not the traditional standard genre
   for a job offer, but i see no reason why
   non-conformist modus operandi
cannot serve as mode to communicate
   non trivial pursuit,

   viz computer technician supporter
   and paperback writer wannabe,
   cuz i love each of the 26
   english language symbolically logical letter
which honest to goodness confession
   hopefully offers unique outlook re:
   other respondents at least a bit better.

Pellucid pearls in northeastern
   North America since planetary birth
comprise Lakes Superior, Michigan,
     Huron, Erie, and Ontario
   (HOMES acronym) dearth
largest group of freshwater lakes on Earth
straddle Canadian–United States

   border tethering partial global girth
constituting 21% of world's surface
   fresh water species hearth
total surface equals 94,250 square miles
   And total volume equals
   5,439 cubic miles immeasurable worth.

Lake Erie from Erie tribe, abridged
   form of Iroquoian word erielhonan “long tail”
Lake Huron named by French explorers
   for Wyandot or “Hurons”
   whence they did sail
Lake Michigan likely from Ojibwa word
   mishigami “great water”

   aka outsize gold quail
Lake Ontario i.e. “Lake of Shining Waters”
   shimmering like hammered coat of mail
Lake Superior coined from French

   “lac supérieur” "upper lake",
   an emerald watery dale
   Ojibwe people called it gitchigumi
   medicinal to cure that, which might ail.

These five lakes each reside in separate basin
form a single, naturally interconnected
   body of fresh water caisson
linking east-central interior
   of North America to Atlantic Ocean
   akin to an escutcheon.

From interior to outlet at St. Lawrence River,
water flows via Superior to Michigan-
   Huron southward to Erie to avoid a shiver
finally released northward to Lake Ontario
   as like a well taut archer with his quiver.

The lakes drain a large watershed
   via many rivers as if a united olympic team
populated with approximately 35,000 islands
   this estimate not x stream
the Great Lakes region contains
   many thousands of smaller lakes,
   often called inland lakes undulating

   in cascading analogous to a fluid ream
Lake Michigan the only one located
   entirely within United States
   while the others border between
   United States and Canada
   essentially a liquid manifolded seam.

Lakes Michigan and Huron
   basically comprise a single lake,
sometimes called Lake Michigan
   Huron, combined doth make

   total area of 45,300 square miles (117,000 km2)
   have the same surface elevation of 577 feet (176 m),
   connected by 295-foot deep Straits
   of Mackinac Islands splayed like a rake.

Approximately 35,000 islands extant
   throughout oceanic like sea
largest among them Manitoulin Island
   in Lake Huron brushing up against Goliath knee.

The second-largest island
   Isle Royale in Lake Superior to boot
both of these islands contain
   multiple lakes them
   selves sacrilegious despoliation
   exceed wages of sin, hence
   further discussion, sans sanctity moot.

(do enjoy frolicking gently imaginatively)

County seat, of Mason County,
   Washington, United States
westernmost city on Puget Sound
   above ground sans tectonic plates

population 9,834 per 2010 census
   end result from biological mates
maintains commission form
   of government drafted by mandates.

Shelton served by small steamboats
   comprising Puget Sound Mosquito Fleet
Old Settler, Irene, Willie, City of Shelton,
   Marian, Clara Brown, & S.G. Simpson
   logging, farming, dairying, ranching
   & oyster cultivation for populace to eat

Simpson Timber Company mill
   on Puget Sound's Oakland Bay over yon
   dominates landscape of the down
   town area as essential heart beat
Shelton identifies the "Christmas
   Tree Capital" sold by the ton.

47°12′49″N 123°6′22″W (47.213702,
   -123.106088) coordinate bench mark
   total area of 5.9 square miles (15 km2),
   of which 5.6 square miles (15 km2) land

0.3 square miles (0.78 km2) (5.60%)
   water laps with an occasional errant shark
   in a pinch captured, processed and canned
a delicacy that fin de siecle bony
   illegal ***** fined by the oceanic narc.

well nigh two and a half decades in the past
   this poet trekked across America
   beginning in a place called Gap
Pennsylvania  - where stockpile
   of Amish goodies barely did last
   and vanished in a gingerly snap

of fingers, which necessitated
   sustenance when van fueled i.e. gassed
   up while myself or the other
   driver stole a short nap
seduced to sleep by syncopated tires

   as highway miles passed
   inching closer to youngest sister
   via this linear transcontinental lap
destination Seattle Washington
   indigenous iconic statue cast.

Ronald Strickland a fine companion
(posted bulletin for traveling fine companion
at Hostelling International - Chamounix Falls Mansion
West Fairmount Park),

   and boone story teller to boot
about my age (now five decades plus nine)
   then trying to rake in some loot
by writing about his travels,

   yet unpretentious and not able
   to square an Apple pi circle
   nor, calculate square a root
perhaps one day, I will surprise him
   with a call and give him a toot.