One rejection,
Awakened the monsters.
No, they're not heartaches,
It's an old friend, darkness.
They crept in slowly,
Just as you smiled,
Slowly, blocking the light,
They're demons inside.
It's not that easy,
Think of happy thoughts,
And they'll be gone
before you know it.
But no - it doesnt work that way,
"Go, save yourself", is what they say,
As you slowly pick the knife,
And held it tight.
You woke up,
Realizing it's wrong,
But then it wasn't over,
They came back.
"My dear, you've been rejected -
Abandoned, alone, suffering
from the pain you never asked.
Do yourself a favor my child."
Eyes that once had seen the light,
Was now in the depths of murk,
"Maybe they were right", you thought,
"Yes we are", they replied.
Determined, you held the knife,
Like your life depends on it,
And dear, you smiled so sweetly,
Not realizing the tears on your face.
How did you end up like this?
Was it your fault?
Or was it theirs?
Confused, you paused.
Staring at the ceiling,
Your thoughts are blank,
You're feeling nothing,
Yet you're seeing everything.
Why did you end up like this?
Did you do it?
Or they did?
Numbed, you smiled.
You glanced at the knife,
Adoring on what it can do,
Useful in so many ways,
One of that is ending the pain.
When did you became like this?
Do you remember?
Or was it them who does?
Pained, you sobbed.
Hush now, you can't cry,
Keep it to yourself
Or they might wake up
You can't let them know.
Where did it start?
Was it your heart?
Or was it their mind?
Shattered, silently, you cried.
You gave everything-
anything to anyone-
to everyone and what's left
for yourself my child?
Grieving for the things
you did. You were happy,
they were happy, but then,
was it enough to lose thyself?
You are ugly, but they said,
"You're pretty", looking at the mirror,
you seek for the truth, but all you see
Was the bitter reality.
You are skinny, but they opposed,
"You're ****", trying on your jeans,
Trying all your clothes and realized,
You were right, all this time.
You are dumb, but they smiled,
"You're brilliant," endlesly, searching,
the past records of your grades,
Smiled and said, "I am dumb."
You were broken by someone,
Asked them if you're not worthy
to be loved, they said, "You're worth it."
Many came, torned you again and again.
"You were rejected, abandoned,
unloved, isn't that a good reason?
A good reason to say goodbye?
Rest my child," slowly, you held it again.
This is the end, the pain,
It was unbearable,
The heartache,
It was self destructing.
Cold and alone in the room,
You stared at the window,
Smiled genuinely at the moon,
But it never reached your eyes.
Alone in the room,
At 12 midnight,
She turned 20,
yet, she died.
What made her do it?
Was it herself?
Or was it them?
Satisfied, she smiled and closed her eyes.