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I've died so many ways before in all of my dreams,
That if you killed me now,
I'd be the bravest victim you've ever seen.
I've felt the rise of panic constricting my breath,
The finishing blow that lays me down for the black rest.
I'm ready for it.
The horrors I've concocted being worse,
Than any **** you could think to throw at me,
So just be grateful you've got the upper hand;
I could've acted out this macabre nightmare on you.
Living through the apocalypse,
Just to wake up at home,
To society, and a turning world,
A *******, sick joke
I've seen the skies darken,
With the rise of titans,
Over the horizon,
And of man,
And of monsters.
I've felt the severe loss,
Of everyone I've ever loved.
I'm more prepared than ever,
For the struggle ahead all because,
I've dreamed it up before.
To expel the outlines piled in my mind on paper,
With a light pencil in one hand,
And slice of rubber in the other,
I parent an impression of hope.

Therein lies the potential and the excitement;
A basic figure given the foundation of grandeur,
Amplifying in complexity before me,
With every scratch of graphite.

As it evolves, a heaviness sets in.
And I pause,
And I stop...

I've given something beautiful a half life, again,
As if it was birthed human,
With no flesh to cover its nerves,
And no breath to cry out its agony.

It remains still in my lap,
Eyes blank as ever staring, maybe, at me .
Out of humility, I tack it up on the wall,
A space shared by its many siblings.

I retreat shamefully with the promise to complete them,
Fumbling with the reality of what I do;
Playing God, I shape the husk of a soul,
And drop it when it's still brittle.
The world belongs to me and the people in it -
Are merely my rug
My mat to smear
And scrape off the **** of my day
From my overpriced shoe
I did not buy the world
Nor did I work for it
Or declare dominance
I gained it
By birthright
And since I never asked
To lead or protect
I won't
I'll wallow in my wealth
Looking down at legions of ants
Crawling over my earth
And all I think?
When I'm with you
My only enemy is time
I force myself to forget to think about it
To focus on you
To focus on your eyes
The inflections of your voice
On the way your skin feels
To focus on the way you hold me
I just want to take as much of it in
But I know it's getting late
So I pull myself away
To recount the moments I spent with you
And wrap them up in memory
To keep them warm
For as long as possible
Because in the next second
Time's up
And we depart
And they're all I have to remind me of you
Until we see each other again
A broken heart
By definition
Cannot act
Based on ambition
And is doomed
To submission
Cursed to feel
Only contrition
But take this moment to listen
To what I have to say to you

A broken heart
Is seen as weak
And the future
Of it bleak
But every crack
Tear and streak
Leaves the owner
More unique
With only confidence to accrue

A broken heart
Once it’s mended
Can shake off
Why it pretended
To endure
What it expended
To keep it’s
Own needs unattended
In fear of losing what was good

A broken heart
Once fixed
Even with
Emotions mixed
And after all
Enemies nixed
By their lies
So transfixed
Is now free to do what it should
When I am most confused,
I can feel a profound sense of happiness,
Within debilitating sadness.
It is the sublimation of emotions.
When I forget the things you tell me,
It’s not for lack of listening,
It’s just life getting in the way;
It’s me thinking about your words,
Telling others too,
Because I think it’s fascinating,
So that so many memories,
In such a small amount of time,
Are connected back,
And overlap.
I could kick myself,
For every word you told me,
That I forgot,
Because I want to hear,
And know what’s on your mind;
Because you’re important,
And I don’t want you to forget that.

— The End —