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Weakness stares from the mirror,
Sad,
Sunken,
Rubbed out, eyes
Dissecting every move

Judging
Me, my thoughts

How do I know you?

This drunken dance of fate
Of chance
Of doom
A ritual
A ceremony
A sacrament
A habit…
A chance conversation with the one reality that does not escape me

Cue the tears the terrors the trembling hands,
Razors make no noise

Bent to break and sick in the soul
This burden is sure to take its toll

It’s the light,
Now I see
It’s the light that reflects this soul

Turn down
Turn out this light

Take away this burden
This tired
This troubled soul

Take away this being
This thing
This me
My soul married yours long before it told the heart,
That was your secret gestures, it had been concealing
And shy alphabet letters formed our non-linear talks
On which ancient symbols were awakening with the news,
That my rapt countenance longed to behold only you.
And in Morse code, my riotous pulse was pinging,
In tiptoeing tiny steps, toward your smile-fragranced planes;
With small sips of blind and drunken-wheeling wonder,
On Adirondacks of time, I finally met your gaze.
And together found, we were writing the same vows;
Our fingers following a bright-feathered knowing,
And scented blooms of flowers knew your older names;
And avalanching comets swept clean the turgid dawns.
Then the seeds of forever were pocketed in your breath,
Wreathed by stars, and saved for hidden yearning.
I think that time would have stopped for us
If it could forever
I think that the sun would have shined
If it could forever
Or the moon would have slowly glowed
If it could forever

All of them sweetly watching
light smiles across all their faces
Books, thinking, writing
All paused, just for now to let us enjoy life
With each other

No planes, cars or distance
No maps or far off places or missing you
Just sand caught in between skin
Just hidden love caught between words
As I lie here
In my jammies
I think of you

I log on
My dear account
And see your smiling face

I start a chat
And we laugh
And cry

And then I say
From the bottom of my heart
"I love you"

And I can see
That you love me too
Because you

Sent me a heart
Made of < and 3
And I blew a pixelated kiss
plaster on that medicated smile
put everyone at ease
because my job is to please
everyone else but myself
their goal is to tame the sickened mind
contradictory though
the silent truth I do know
actions do speak loud
trust no one and love a chosen few
for them I stay alive
and fight my tumultuous mind
a medicated smile time after time

— The End —