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mark soltero Dec 2021
it’s okay to be in love with the dying light
spending your evenings away from reality
things that make you forget about burning
and while the lasting memory haunts you
it’s cold embrace feels right
the just emotional whirlwind that feels pure
fuels your sense of being
time erodes away its value
but sometimes its strength transforms
i want to hold my former self
tell him that life is going to be painful
but he can be stronger
to make him understand isolation is chosen alienation is given
stagnation isn’t a confine to misery
virtuosity isn’t fulfilling
and sometimes the pawn’s value outweighs the king
and to live in the shadow of your own worth is a disgrace to one’s own constant growth
transformation strength feels right isolation self value  stagnation
mark soltero Dec 2021
strobing images flash inside
your body out of sight
you’re temporary love in his arms
his body is now your throne
your home away from me
a shrine to his transgressions
in the dark you lie to them
and you love it too
pretending the shackles you don are for him
mark soltero Dec 2021
moving backwards farther than before
can’t look at myself anymore
they made me bruise my skin
generosity is lame
authenticity is a facade
your empty promises will buy it all
jealousy resides in my heart to this day because of them
flashbacks haunt me
green lights guide me down away from reality
save me from my former
a sad child out for revenge
cold to touch
fully detached and shaking
haunting visions of time spent in delusion
lie to feel
lie to escape
feel the power behind that
behind the bile and tears were strength
i regret the times when i had it all
nights spent with myself loathing my own
a boken mirror is like drinking alone
sometimes i think im dying
but i’m not worth saving
break the cycle
but what’s the point
mark soltero Oct 2021
bile splatters the wall
dreadful peace fills my veins at once
it’s all going to be okay
the worst of this is tooth decay
i can’t rely on others to know better

how can something so disgusting feel this pure
why does this burn in my throat bring me closer to perfection
tears feel valid only when they’re forced
it all feels so wrong
but i can’t let go of this control
peace can’t stay here anymore

but don’t leave me like everyone else has
i’ve given up on everything
i can’t face the world without you
tears shed just for you to stay
please lie in this filth next to me
don’t flee like the rest
there’s no other way i can cope today

the mirror leaves me unrecognizable
the reflection is a lie
you can’t let this happen
here to destroy me
the progress we’ve made
i can’t become an embarrassment once again
i brought you here to take on some of this grief

lonely times in the bathroom
the tile still feels so cold
warmth you gave feels like daggers in my stomach
like bugs trying to escape
i didn’t eat the food
it’s eating away at me
I AM SORRY BUT I'VE BEEN FEELING BAD AND NO I'VE NOT RELAPSED THAT WAS MY MINDSET YEARS AGO, I'M JUST FEELING BAD ABOUT MY WEIGHT GAIN FROM MY ANTIPSYCHOTICS
mark soltero Oct 2021
slowly chipping away my manhood
with my lips pressed against the cylinder
sweet and softly wrapped around
ready to take the blow

ridiculous in my silly little ways
my desire to die was unkind

the bottom of the bottle is bittersweet
but only if you want it to be

the salty bedrock tastes like hell
life in pain is okay
you're already dead that way

you only left small burns in my heart
I bet you never even felt that
but I never cared it seems
and I think that's only fair to me to believe that
mark soltero Sep 2021
goal oriented affections mean nothing

do i have a problem he asked
ungripped from the idea of desire
slight misunderstandings amongst those present
watch it all unfold

beneficial mistakes led to destiny
beautiful positions fill the space between
pure vanity overtakes love not meant to be

affections without true purpose
lungs spilling the life you have
on the brink of death
all for the misuse of her humility

simply to be with the girl of your dreams
broken hearts between brought you to me he realized
the lives he's taken before was worth it
mark soltero Sep 2021
man was the first to preform suicide
natural born martyrs
too sick to bring themselves to eat their own filth
our strongest are easiest to fall
men were not made to survive
but sequential installments are in
follow suite in order to remain on top
in order to fall farther
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