That's what she always has been.
Hard to find, difficult to be seen.
Her words are enough
to **** me.
"You're just a friend and that's all it will be."

"But no, I don't want
my love for you to end."

"Then you better catch me if you can."

We're taught to move on,
To be strong!
Shake it off, champ!
You'll get 'em next time!

Except this isn't a ******* baseball game is it?

These losses aren't ephemeral,
And loving the ghost of someone,
Is like dragging a cinder block
Tied around your neck

Your delicate skin chafes, tears and bleeds,
And as you gag,
Perhaps you wish you'd find yourself
In a lake with that cinder block

Gurgling, staring eyes wide
At the block to do something!
Haven't you loved it so?
Bubbles rise.

Fade to black and remember
Your thankless love,
Remember how you held this torch,
And became a martyr for no one

when you bit my lip
smiled
and walked away

the bitter taste of
the cigarette that
wasn't you

your kisses
and your quick breath
the smoothness of
your skin

your body
against mine
on the dusty road

i remember

the blackness

this clay mould
that hides my soul
needs to break

Forgetting where I came from
Forgetting why I felt so numb
Forgetting why you filled my head
Forgetting why I was filled with dread

Now I should remember
By the glowing embers
The joy that came
When there was no one to blame
For all the toils and troubles
That had yet to double

The future looks bright
With all the glowing light
For me and for you
Things might fall through
But we'll get through together
No matter what the weather

Hello... hello... hello...
Is there anybody in there?
I feel trapped
And unable to nod
To indicate my being
And no, I can't hear you
I'm too
well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again
Too lost
In my mind
To stop my own pain
ill need some information, first
Just the basic facts,
Can you show me where it hurts?
My mind
And heart
Are being torn away from each-other
And becoming separate entities
With different wants
Just a little pinprick.
There'll be no more,
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
But you may feel a little sick.*
Can't feel worse than now
I'm sick already
And dying inside
Rotting inside my own mind
can you stand up, stand up,
I do believe it's working, good.
That'll keep you going through the show
Come on it's time to go.
Temporary reliefs
From my cryptic beliefs
On death
And how close I am
Dead enough to be decaying
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Of happiness
And what life could be
A merry me
And cheerful world
In that moment
I saw peace
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
The child is grown,
The dream is gone.
But, I can be content
With temporay relief
*I have become comfortably numb....