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Marissa Kay Dec 2015
I'm not frustrated with anyone
I'm frustrated with frustrating as a whole
Why do I give a **** about all of the ways they lie
I'm so ******* sick of ignorance
Towards each other
Towards themselves
Towards the universe

We all want the same thing . . .

A pair of eyes
( piercing. Soaked up with all the light from every moon, and every star, and every bulb from every cieling )

To look....no.... Gaze /stare/ glance fixedly upon
Or own (pair of eyes)
And without saying a word.
Understand.
All. Of. The. *******. Pain.

To run finger over needles stabbing each ear and
      Slowly
Remove their stinging remarks
All while holding a gaze
All, while, holding, a,     Gaze
Marissa Kay Dec 2015
It would say something like...

I'm jealous of the trees

They simply get to watch

I want to be a tree
Or the sky
Or a bird

And even if I'm not
At least I won't be a ******* robot in this world
Marissa Kay Nov 2015
i'm getting better and better at being heartbroken

now, when my heart starts to shake
i hold it tightly
that way there's no room for heavy breathing
Marissa Kay Nov 2015
I just like it more than being with the people I know
I want someone to share moments with. Beautiful ones. But not just anyone
Because I've shared moments with anyone before and that's why I prefer being by myself. People I know **** the energy out of me. Leave me dry, and it's frustrating.
I want someone to intensify the air
To make me feel more than I've ever felt, yet feel completely comfortable with the chaos
Marissa Kay Nov 2015
i prefer a room filled with darkness over a lighted one. i can’t think under the sun, it yells and screams and forces itself to be noticed. The heat suffocates me.
But when it rains, nature is nourished. When it rains, the sky stops pretending to give off all this energy that it truly doesn’t contain, it takes a deep breath and says “okay, okay, I’m sad.”
And crys.

i hear all kinds of people talking about happiness like its the only answer, the ultimate goal.
But to me it just seems like an act.
my happiness isn’t like most people’s happiness. My happiness isn’t a smile, or a wink
Or a giggle or a chirp
Or a high-five or a holler. Those things don’t appeal to me. my happiness is a gaze. A symphony of violins. A sunset. Silence.
my happiness always has this hint,
although sometimes very faint,
of sadness
Marissa Kay Oct 2015
I've never felt it like this
Something jumped inside of me
An emotion, a rope, a demon possibly

Someone please help
Someone. Anyone.   please

If you'd take my lungs and pump them up
I've forgotten how to breath
Marissa Kay Oct 2015
I just need to hold myself
breathing is louder here
...I can hear my breath
I am alive
knees together
tucked up beside me
all ten fingers tangled in my hair

a bed is no place for my body
I feel safer here
curled up on this floor
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