i loved you
and i love you still.
you never did,
you never will.

One day a strong feeling rose,
it's time, to her I should propose.
But as fate chose,
I met only remorse.

Had written her a song,
which she found all wrong
As my eyes looked at the letter she tore,
'I want to never see you again!', she swore.

The pain was such, it was impossible to take
the pain of this horrible heartbreak
It felt as if she plunged into my heart
a ****** wooden stake

Some days my head is high
My chin is raised
My eyes are bright
And I sing self praise

Other days my head is low
My chin is tucked
My eyes are sad
I'm out of luck

My soul is joyful
I feel no fear
I can't stop smiling
I'm happy I'm here

I go outside
I grin at the sun
I smell the roses
It's good to be someone

But then I'm down
And everything crashes
A tear slowly slides
The pain comes in flashes

It hurts to breathe
Yet I cry and cry
Sometimes I wish
That I could just die

But then I remember
I was made for something
And I lift my head
And walk with a spring

I move on to the good days
I pass the hurt
Because even the best days
Outshine the worst

I can't breathe.
The air is extricated from
my lungs by their
vacant, judgemental
stares and their obscene
words litter my skin
like the paint
that splattered my pink flesh
as I tried to paint you
a picture of what
this feels like.

No amount of water
could cleanse the feeling
of the tense atmosphere that
clouds my vision
as if I were a wingless airplane
flying on a foggy night, but
I'm not a flight you want
to take home tonight.

And I know you see
my straightened back
as another entity proceeds
2 feet too close into my
personalaized hell.

Turn away.
Pretend you don't see anything.

For acknowledging my
social anxiety doesn't
relieve me.

It causes me to be
more anxious than before.

A name is a name
to which someone is giving

for how they act
or how they look

for what they do
or what they say

But the name you have given
me is none of the above

for I did not act how you say
I do not look how you think

I did not do what you whispered
I did not say what you spread

I am not fake
and I am not a loner

Because to be fake
is to act like someone you are not

And to be a loner
I would have to want to be alone

But I do not know who I am
so I cannot act like someone else

And I cannot leave this ****** house
because of the scars etched across my skin where your words inflicted them

I am not what you say I am
I do not what you say I do
I just try to be the best possible me there is
Without knowing me at all