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Ceryn Sep 2013
The room is getting darker, with a dim light just by my side
The wind is getting colder, but I just can't sleep on tight
I know we're becoming older, but my faith's still a grain wide
Tonight, I had a cold shoulder from a friend, now out of sight.

The night is growing deeper as I'm feeling the coldest spot
In my frost-bound corner, I knew I've missed a lot
The sun rays just can't hit me despite a weather so hot
I just can't see myself in a world where we're all just a dot.

I know there's no quick remedy to my own aversion
Or a cheerful countenance when I face a few reflections
It's just that I find it hard to wish upon a shooting star
To make a brighter morning for one who sees afar.

Tonight I'm trying to wake all my inner hopes up
At least to find a way for the chaos in my mind to stop
Tick-tock-tick-tock, my heart seemed to drop
I guess I've lost the fat chance I had to be back on top.

The gardens had run out of dandelions to blow
My lifeless eyes had lost its once beautiful glow
11:11 has passed, a couple of hours has gone
Tell me, still a wish is granted though it's past one.

I wish for the world to see the holes within its thickest surface
I wish for men to look for the hidden side of these gorgeous faces
I wish for us to get back on track as we've lost our inmost graces
I wish for myself to keep wishing more, to solve more of my mazes.
Ceryn Feb 2013
I tried so hard to wipe away
Those tears falling from my eyes,
I felt your hand hold mine
Then I finally saw paradise.

‘Twas the loveliest day of my life
When auburn leaves tend to fall,
And we were each other’s remedy
From the heartbreaks we had before.

Along the drive we used to tread
Despite our busy days ahead,
We’ve had enough of a sweet talk
A cup of mocha to keep us from cold.

I felt the warmth of your embrace
Beautiful times I’d forever treasure,
Those tender words your lips can’t miss
Not even the genius can measure.

It was not a piece from so-called forever
We never vowed of anything fake,
We’re just off to cherish moments together
Never thinking of such a blue fate.

We gathered each chronicle we get
From the perfect portrait we made,
As it showered upon us with gentle haste
We never thought it would fade.

The clock continued to take control
Of the love we both loved to have,
But the world seems to have taken its toll
We weren’t meant to last, no, I guess not.

Slowly, smiles were all for pretense
Distance were made between two hearts,
Conflicting thoughts then grew immense
Seems like it's all going to fall fast.

Million miles away from each other
Cried in vain, we’re drifted apart,
Just cannot think of any better
Watch the raindrops fail to stop.

Soon it was winter in the city I’m in
A snowflake formed a cut on my cheek,
But it was nothing compared to this pain
A delightful stuff that proved me I’m weak.

I tried to run away from the lame scene
Millions of footprints behind me were seen,
I don’t know where to go or where to hide
I just have to cry but no one’s by my side.

Tears rolled over my forever bleeding scar
I wiped it away and it hurt so much more,
I knew I will never find comfort again
Staying miserable for life, sure as said.

And then again, I felt that same old warmth
Only to realize that in your arms, I was wrapped,
You said you just can’t make another start
Without me, our days only seem lonely apart.

That was the day I realized once more
Just like the old memories of us before,
A sip of love will surely take it all
And in love, I know, we will forever fall.
Ceryn Jan 2014
And again, he played with his words
And again, I wished they were mine
And again, I said with a curse
Again, it was never mine to mind.

And again, he proceeded with charm
And again, I would see him around
And again, there's nothing I could do
*Again, how do I not want you?
Ceryn Feb 2013
For so many times, I’ve tried to write
A kind of romance I’ll never find,
A story that will never ever be mine
Not in any instance, nor space, nor time.

A million stars have fallen and I’m still alone
Seems like a castaway to a terrible storm,
Nobody told me about that joyous dawn
When will I ever feel myself at home?

To feel certainty in my every painful wish
No, it doesn’t feel like what it has to be,
A destination I won’t ever reach
Blinded by love’s fresh blood and mist.

People had been there to stay and go
Maybe they were just some playful show,
Of sham affection that just won’t flow
Love is such a nice thing to throw.

Nevertheless, I shall have to bear
This shirt of nothingness that I just have to wear,
From these lovely nights when the skies are bare
Wish that someday, someone would really care.
Ceryn Feb 2013
It’s hard for me to say it for real
All that I have kept inside,
For so long, I’ve never imagined of this
But I guess it will someday be right.

Thoughts keep clashing in my mind
Words I find so hard to speak,
Memories keep tearing me apart
This love has been killing me softly.

How do I reminisce things with you?
If it had never been, not even for once,
Behold what lies beyond my eyes
It’s the dream I never imagined to be true.

Nothing can ever fix the pieces
The ones you scattered on the floor,
It had been for years and you still don’t know
This pain I felt, I died once more.

For my heart’s every beat is for you
It beats even stronger whenever I see you,
But we’re worlds apart, I know for sure
I can never have you, now it injures.

My heart cries, longing for your touch
My life is pointless ‘cause you owe me no love,
It kills me inside, it hurts me so
If there’s no any chance, I’ll learn to let go.

I’ve loved you before, I will love you more
I will always love you even so,
But this love digs me down to the core
I’ve got to do this a little less than before.

I’m not giving up, I’m not even quitting
But if this is what I get from loving,
I’d rather keep it down and low
I guess it’s never worth the show.

I want you to know that nothing’s changed
I won’t ever let this love just perish,
But it isn’t easy to love you still
Amidst the possible threats that I see.

I’d be doing this a little less than before
‘Cause it causes me death and so much more,
I’ve got to find myself without you
If that is how I should love you so true.
Ceryn Feb 2013
Beneath the nimbus, a rainy day
I've gathered all my sunny days,
For pleasure's a thousand miles away
And the troubles ahead, now I must face.

The lilacs, the lilies, the jack-in-the-pulpits
The green fields, so calm, so serene, so placid,
I'm leaving everything, oh I must've lost my wits
'Cause my fortune's to take my miserable lead.

As I journeyed along the roads and thorns
There on my sides are foxes that scorn,
Leaping across and behind my soul
But I hold on tight to my dreams and goal.

Now I have travelled long enough to die
But until where would this misery of mine lie?
If I'll take the apple from the mad serpent by his lies
Will I ever come to my Father's paradise?

It's easy to think of what and where you want to be
But the hardest part's when you still never see,
The reason, and where would all of these lead you
And in your struggle, still you never find a clue.

Oh I don't know if in this voyage I could still stand
For now, all I want to do is rest on the bottomland,
And see the azure sky fall upon my face
And dream way long of a fairytale-like place.
Ceryn Sep 2013
She knew so well, she was broken
Grazed by the dark episodes of her life
But for a reason not well spoken
She bottles up her pretty lies.

Too soon, oh Heaven. How do I despair?
Should You becalm the sea, why not seemingly fair?

Questions and tempest, in just a minute stare
All, in a trice, turned out as an awful nightmare
Hovering over the memories, hearts are still in pain
Tears are carefully hidden, sore wounds she'd rather feign.

I knew I wasn't dreaming, but for once I'd like to know.
Can we still dream much further despite a losing show?

Such a lax image, she tends to portray
Religiously, so patiently, she never goes astray
At the darkest edges of her discernible universe
Beyond our keenest senses, she buries a pitch black curse.

Shame on me, my steadfast wishes, I can hardly collect.
Another revolution yet; oh, how do I deflect?

Like a western avalanche, her days came rolling by
As if they're going out of hand, over her head, we can testify
She can just give up, or give another shot, no one seems to know
But in her mind, she knows just why she was there all from the word go.

I know to whom I shall only concede, never to a ruthless battle.
Disjoint, unarmed, I could always be; but my faith, no one can throttle.

And so the tale of this one staunch damsel never ended wrong
She might have had some tough good byes, but that made her strong
Cropping out the tragedy from the frame, she tries to recover from drama
Star-crossed, perhaps, but not til she stops becoming the one tough Andrea.
For my friend, Andrea, who carries on til forever. Carry on til forever.
Ceryn Apr 2017
Many days and nights, I wished my life could be like an Angel's harmony
Sweet... Perfect... In tune...
But during those many days and nights
While I wished my life to just come by
As flawless as my favorite fairy tales and fancy novels
Fate strung the wrong string
Pulled me out of my comfort ring
Turned everything upside down
And with billions of people around me somehow
I felt completely alone, doing every wrong thing all along.

Many days and many nights
Like the many nightmares that took away my smiles
While I went on with my own curse,
Breathing in the life that hurt me first,
Exhaling everything out of my weakened body,
Treading on a path that kept me cold and down and lowkey
Saving my weary soul from being burnt
Rescuing others while I was in absolute hurt,
Not realizing what it's all worth.

I thought it could be sweet... Perfect... In tune...

But like that one Angel who deviated from its moral roots,
Like its harmony that's destitute of perfect tune,
I had to live my life in all the darkest rooms.

I just want to run away from all this life's dooms
And run back into His hands and finally find my ultimate refuge.
Ceryn Mar 2017
I met you when I was in the worst chapters of my days
When my arms hang loose towards the ground
While a wave of sketchy, grand mem'ries take its chance
To escape from the past, a replay that won't subside.

I met you when my heart started to crash and wear out
When my eyes began to water, tears streamed down
And my mind wandered back the many days and nights
When happiness meant pain and tears and lies.

I met you when the sun began to fade away
And the blue skies turned to a gloomy grey
I saw no light, no sunshine struck my skin
And with the darkness still, I tried to hold it in.

It was the worst of the worst and the days keep rolling
My heart's still broken, empty pieces keep falling
Eyes are still swollen from the tears that never stopped
Wounds are still open but no blood would come out.

I met you when I was a pure image of destruction
I met you when my life knew no life, nor direction
I met you when I was a mess and my life such a waste
I met you when I shut myself close, having no regrets.

Where do I go when the world seems a stranger?
Who do I call when my voice shakes like thunder?
What do I do with the remaining pieces of my heart?
How do I hold on when giving up is easier on my part?

But I met you and you tried to cure my broken heart
I met you and covered up my wounds without a doubt
You met me helpless and you showed me just how
Meeting someone can heal you, and still break you anyhow.

Don't just leave like all the rest, give me something to believe
Don't just walk away and go, don't leave me hanging still
Don't just turn your back, please, face me with the truth
If you have to, don't leave yet, until I've learned to unlove you.
Ceryn Jan 2014
Be the reason why people smile
Be the apple of their weary eyes
Be the sunshine through their rain
Be the hand to help them up again
Be the hope when they're upset
Be the dream they wish to get
Be the friend whom they can call
Be the one to have when they lose it all.
Ceryn Sep 2013
Have you been to my mind? Have you heard the sounds in my head?
I guess, not yet. Not ever. Who would dare? It's not even safer than hell.

Have you seen my scars? Have you felt that agonizing state my years have brought me into?
I guess, you won't. Not ever. Who'd want to see the gruesome nature of my weary soul?

Have you seen my tears? Have you tried to let a river flow down your frozen cheeks?
I guess, you haven't. Still, not ever. Who'd do a stuff that doesn't feel right for a usual individual?

Have you touched my hand? Have you searched for my pulse and found it dysfunctional?
I guess, you won't bother. Why ever? Who'd care touch a thing that wouldn't last forever?

Have you read my words? Have you read anything but my simple, pointless words?
I guess so, this time. But you won't give a dime. Mere words show nothing but something to base your prejudice on. Am I right?

You're reading my mind. You're seeing my scars. You're watching me cry. You're feeling me die. And I,
I am having my own time to let you know of my words. My words that may not matter to you or to me or to anyone right before this piece. But let me tell you of one thing: These words may cut our strings, but these are less than what I truly want to reveal about what I truly feel.
I do not consider anger or defense in my expressions. It's a thing I can't explain.
Ceryn Feb 2013
You looked in my eyes
In deep silence, you knew me
Nothing's there to hide.
Emotional haiku.
Ceryn Jun 2013
As I try to reach out
my hand to you
A panoramic scene
Flashed in dim hue
A scene I never thought
would be this ever true
Crushed a part of me
Without a single clue.

A lonely girl with a quiet heart
A man of words around a few
Stuck around like twin clash
Ironically, without ado
One felt true for one who felt, too
No one has said that something's true
Broken harmony, naturally bound
Fateful, drastic, silently loud.

The foliage whirled
beneath the yellow moon
Piled up as if to cover
some blank in secret tune
Like a flower blossoming
in perfect powder blue
A nonsense kind of reality
Like such visions, it never grew.
Ceryn Jan 2014
Heal me with your words that lather
Untangle the strings I attached to your heart
Dun me until you see me no longer
Upon your feet, as I tear apart
But hear my words as they sound louder:

"                                                "

even from the start.
[July 23, 2013]
Ceryn Apr 2015
There was a time
when I thought that
to avoid you
would be
the cure.

Now, I long
to go back to
the time when I was
**** sick

at least,
I was alive.
Ceryn Feb 2013
I am calm in my ways
I never react to any disgrace,
I rarely give my point of view
And still I never find a clue.

I am calm to life's surprises
I never reckon presented chances,
I just see everything lightly
To preserve my deep serenity.

I've always been calm and collected
I never mind if I've been rejected,
Neither do failures nor flaws can break
A heart that's always been at stake.

I see to it that I stay calm
I never put my life to any palm,
Mine has always been so precious
Even when the world can get so tedious.

But now I don't understand everything
All that has lately been happening,
Clueless faces and secretive smiles
Speaking eyes, a look that guiles.

Responses can shiver you straight to the bone
Bizarre lines he can never hone,
Sly endeavors of reaching a star
Minding not how hard and far.

My inner conscience's set to commotion
Not even ready for a straight revelation,
When the time comes an iceberg breaks
A smile could be shown by a girl who fakes.

How about the first one to make me know
That life is just a playful show,
Everything could be played with roses and gun
When a problem arises you can always run.

Comparisons are made of which is which
Torns that have been made, how can I stitch?
When all the pieces seem to be badly fragile
Is there a chance to put them still?

Well I don't really mind if confusions linger
All the shocks in the world, I'll never be a receiver,
'Cause they might all get knotted in my complicated mind
These impossible problems and trials of any kind.

Still I hope everything going to be fine
Whoever is that deserving star to shine,
But take note that I never give it all
Always cautious of a painful downfall.
Ceryn Feb 2013
As much as I want to rejoice
And savor that old feeling again
I’ve got no other choice
But to keep it all hidden.

No one shall know that for so long
I’ve patiently waited so much
And that kept me collected all along
But still, it never broke the latch.

It’s nothing that would bring me
Into the same wonderful memories
‘Cause now it seems a vanity
To ignore presented realities.

I liked the way it all happened
It’s as if it was the first time
But I shall soon be awakened
‘Cause somehow, it is a crime.

I cannot simply fix the messy crack
Things that have been deranged
‘Cause I cannot bring it all back
Indeed, I know things have changed.
Ceryn Feb 2013
All those times I was at my best
To make you feel my sweet caress,
But I was not that filthy blessed
'Twas all a vague and cold **** mess.

My eyes were filled with spark of glee
A gleam that struck my very emotion,
An obscure and hopeless phantasm of thee
How it hurt me with that realization.

The cold and starry night stood still
As I gazed upon the dark, lonely sky,
A goner wishing that lovve's of no peril
Such a foolish heart's pathetic try.

The night went long, the rain won't stop
My gloomy days oozed with real mad wonder,
Enough of this misery, should I just drop?
'Cause this odd feeling just makes me somber.

I only want to taste the gaiety
That this bizarre thing often carry,
But I know that life's of no guarantee
I guess it's just my another frailty.

I think you're not for me to cherish
There's someone out there intended for you,
But take my word, my love won't perish
'Cause you're the only one in my life that's true.
Ceryn Dec 2016
Should I regret?

That I’m still in love with his verses
And all his invisible curses
Weaved into his words that burn
Full of life, made out of love
To find souls wide awake
In the deepest of the night.

I am in love with impossibilities.

I am in love with a soul long gone.

I tried to find [and fake] love

within this boundless earth we are all in,

but I am, no doubt, still in love with him.
Ceryn Dec 2016
We could all be caught up in our own insanity
And betray our hearts with our pasts
Even when the body does what it is expected to do
The mind tries to find a way to bypass.

He was once the person I almost badly wanted
He was once the person who made me spend my nights in tears,
He was once the person I’d love to walk the earth with
He was once the flower that bloomed in the middle of desert feels.

But who are we to foolishly demand from the vast Great Skies?
Who am I to heartlessly betray the present love that serves me right?
Who is he to ruin the trust of the man who would hold me tight?
Who are we to judge how things end up like funny tales we just write?

I am writing this poem not to defend my infidelity to make things seem right.

I am writing this poem, so I know when to say goodbye and just give in to what I can’t fight.

I am writing this poem not to express my [still] burning desire to be with my old flame.

I am writing this poem for the love that took care of me when I know I don’t really care.
Ceryn Feb 2013
I’ve seen her cry herself to sleep
A thousand times
‘Twas way too deep
Her swollen eyes revealed the pain
I guess she’ll never know
How long it will remain.

She never imagined a life like this
Nothing can ever make her feel fine
She knew it cannot just cease
Love was undefined
Time had done nothing
But play a painful rewind.

Pillows were wet, nothing to lie about
Her hair’s a big mess
She was really hurt, no doubt
Often than not, corners were warm
And there she sulks herself
With broken wings and faded charm.

She was crazy, but he was a fool!
Knowing that love ain’t a joke
Feelings are fragile; a girl’s not a tool
She missed him so bad
He was flirting around
Now she just has to be glad.

She can’t keep those gems from falling
It can’t help but touch the silk
Losing her mind, it’s all or nothing
But she knows things will get right
And the sun will shine again
Keeping things light; making days bright.

Far, indeed, far from reality
Realizations don’t seem to be true
It’s hard to accept all life’s virility
She just can’t believe now
She cannot fully trust
Though it comforts her somehow.

And yes, her weary eyes
Just tell it so
Never been dwelt in by any lies
It can’t bring the sunshine
The soonest time
And centuries before she’ll feel fine.
Ceryn Mar 2014
I don't want to go out and face the sunshine
when all that's reflected on my face and whole life
are the jagged wounds caused by last night's vicious rains,
the asperities of the storm that attacked my sunny days.

I just want to stay here forever (I dare ya'll)
amid great poets' lengthy chronicles and tell-all
inspired by life and love and hope and rebirth
the perpetuation of their luscious grudges beneath the earth.

As I crave for more chancy ideas to come out through words
I desire to ****** my people with a nasty yet vague curse
That whoever imperils me with anything but one shrewd call
In my deathly poetic verses, expect your worst and loudest brawl.
Ceryn Dec 2014
I feel so controlled.
I feel so controlled and manipulated.
Restricted and barred,
Cuffs and braces,
Cells and cages.
Voices . . .

Hush . . .


Let's end this now.
Let's break this doubt.
Stop controlling me.
Stop, control me.
Odd write.
I decided to enter their world.
I didn't know it was that pitch dark.
Ceryn Jun 2013
Darling, you will be alright.
When you think the clouds won't ever go away,
alone on the sand looking at the outer space,
watching the birds hum through the rainy day,
sleeping on a cold, lonely couch while you're far away,
listening to old songs you know you can never sing again,
still valuing mem'ries you know you'll never regain
trying to pick the cluttered pieces on the floor,
wishing as though you've never wished before,
not to hear the ravaging music in your head
and thinking you could just be plain dead,
expecting to see things so nice in your head,
but you're only seeing stained windows instead,
yet know that this life won't let you lose in the end
and there's still a better way for wounds to mend
for there's no other way to make you feel better
than to think that no one's broken forever.
Darling, you will be alright,

- M. C.
This is just a simple poem I dedicate to myself and to everyone else who's hurting.
Ceryn May 2013
I’ve been writing boring poems, and fancy doodles,
The ones I thought would make sense in the end.
But I never realized, I was only using them
Just to create a sense in my head.
What I once realized in this lonely earth
Love cannot grow on a barren ground
When you care for the one who forgot your worth
But you’re still waiting to be found.
I know it’s for real but can’t ever come true
Though I know I still need your love
But I know deep inside, wherever you may go
There'll always be me and you in my heart.
Ceryn Jan 2014
I'm sad.
But who would know?
I'm hurt.
Yet it doesn't even show.
I'm failing again.
I know, it really takes time to grow.
I'm disappointed.
But I'm still going with the flow.
I'm scared.
Though there's no time to say "No."
I'm weary.
But I shall not end the show.
I'm done.
But not yet about to go.
I'm in a rapid process of changes.
But I'm not afraid to go slow.
Well, I'm continuously learning.
Still, proud to have begun from below.
Ceryn Feb 2013
Some time in this world
We'd long for magic
To heal all wounds
Our faith in static
Yet at time it feels
Nothing could go wrong
But we'll never know
Dig deep down the core.
The merriest day
For all lovely pairs
Had been bittersweet
Broken down affairs
I guess it ends there
On that lonely site
Silence filled our souls
We messed up just right
Lips no longer spoke
Of words that could rhyme
Hope one day we'd still,
In another life.
A Valentine post.
Ceryn Mar 2014
I admit.
I am your utterly
disillusioned waste of space.
I play the prominent part
in a lavish masquerade
of all the world's lowly taste.

A fiasco
in my past state.
A ruin
in progress.
A vision of demise
when tomorrow commences.

Sheer disappointment,
I caused to thee.
Holds back from life,
my destiny.
Knuckling under
the dull moonlight
all of my dreams
as they lose from sight.

It's true,
I've been a fool,
making lots of awful tunes.
Wrapping up mem'ries
with shabby rhymes.
Hiding under the rubble
of my shattered life.

I then concede.
I ask you all to plead
from your many gods
forgiveness for a soul
who had lost all control.

it was nice
to hear a plentiful
terrible cries.

But no matter what goes on
in the head of the overthrown,
I had to slowly surrender
and give up my own disguise;
it's a new lease on life.

But I hale you all to listen.

For my words are sacred til I die.
But not when I tell you
not to believe when I try to guile.
'Cause while I'm your silver-tongued girl,
I am willing to tell more lies.

*But words aren't much sacred;
never, until you die.
Ceryn Mar 2014
She looked older than the years she had born in there
that which caused her to own that odd grey hair
covering her countenance that was once pretty fair
now, out of nowhere, a portrait of despair.

She resorts to lock her sight on black and dried up roses
holding her book of poems that only burnt her wishes
to create a song that made her miss his soft caress
a sober spring tune from a grief-stricken mistress.

Been there from the place where they had first met
when she cries, she remembers what not to regret
hard knock of nostalgia, no one can seem to interpret
caustic flashbacks she can never eschew nor forget.

She knew she'll have to recover before the pain rages on
Again, as this tormenting struggle then continues to go on
No one can tell her how she can finally be able to move on
But memories of the truest love shall always stay and live on.
When a loved one loses a loved one, you just but feel it, too.
Ceryn Jul 2013
it is our own emotions
that drag us down
keep us from flying
tearin' us apart
leaving us
with a broken heart.

But sometimes
it is just our own minds
that release too much hate
love, trust and faith
tend to dissipate
all at once
without a single sign.

And sometimes,
it is our soul
that gives us the reasons
to rejoice much more
live a joyous life
like we're in His paradise
as one day, we'll all be.

But this time,
know that it's just you
who can only decide
make your dreams come true
never end the show
never let it go
it's when your 'bout to grow.

Man, you'll never get wrong
Though everything seems wrong
Just put on a content face
Be proud of your current phase
But dare to search afield
Despite the worsening feel
*Go catch your dream, bold soul!
Here's to all those who think they're sinking and whose dreams are fading.. Do not ever let go. :)
Ceryn Jul 2013
I do poetry
not for the sake of creating confusions,
or miserable interjections, or an uphill struggle
to unravel such an ignominious mystery,
bound to recollect the scattered pieces of my soul
as it ends a series of endless wailing,
of countless days of badly breaking,
of numerous attempts to keep me from falling,
at the deepest fissures I am left with.
But, man,
Thank you.
I thank you all for that,
for as long as I have an ocean of emotions to feel,
for as long as this life gives me false guarantees,
as long as my heart continues to blindly receive,
as long as the universe gives us a reason to still dream,
as long as you have your eyes to read what I really feel,
I will not mark an end to my desire to fill
an empty surface, so as to truly reveal
that I may refuse to let the world in
but I know I can give it another try
in another time, when I get my old self back
and find her ready to feel again,
fresh and free from fancy frustrations.
Loud and sound, I will someday astound
the souls that tried to bring the worst out of me
and will divulge the best of me.
I'll say, at last, I am finally free,
and thanks for making me see
that even without you, I can always be.
Thanks for the memories.
Thanks for the tears.
Thanks for all.
It was truly a bliss
to let go of what it's not worth it.
Let's think it was worth it.
My crazy, little, once-upon-a-time-dream,
you saw how I ebbed out of my soul.
Now, you will be seeing
how I will flow back to the shore,
with a stronger heart and a bolder soul,
through this bland and lonely poem.
Ceryn Jul 2013
Hopeful daylight, dark as ebony
Contrite, I was, after all the tragedy,
Benign, scars are, when they forever bleed
Oh no, please don't, just let me believe.

Crushed, I've been, on that mirthful day
Scorched, frozen are my corrupted veins,
Cold, pained, and yet you seemed to care
Truth, ***** me with your exciting stare.

I lost my day, had found you there
You took me in, and played **** well,
Blind me, Death; let light prevail
Your truth, locked spell, uttered anyway.

Remove them pictures in your hand
Burn them mem'ries in your head,
Lit up the pile of hearts you've broken
Feed my delight, our awful cravin'.

Reminiscing, quietly, standing there
Against the wind, looking just fair,
Behold your nasty nonexistent affair
Catastrophic scene of a peaceful blare.

Think not, not ever, of her, forget
Instead, let dream, inhibit regret,
Back down, leave, regain no disgrace
Love her not, and suddenly, replace.
I am trying to understand my words and how they should mean to me and to all those who feel me.
Ceryn Mar 2014
Can we putter away
a hundred and more days
when all we ever wanted
is to be found at last
in this totally murky space?

Do we regret the hours
we spent together
savoring the words
that don't even matter
to anyone, anyhow
locked up hands
among the naughty crowd?

Shall we toss these letters
out our blood-stained windows
and wished for something
that hadn't caused us jitters
like a genuine touch
from a mother that really cares
but 'twas all lust
we just gave in to our fears?

How do I hate what I didn't mean to love?

Must have been wise enough to know
I could've written a better show
Just that mad to have been carried away
by your love that only crossed my way
half a day.
Ceryn Nov 2014

Ceryn Jul 2013
You said you were in love
I know just what that meant
Behind this awful mask I wear
A story then begins
I know it's nothing personal
But could you be the one
Who saves me from my bleeding heart
And keeps me from falling down?

You said she is the one
I know she really is
I think I saw her on that day
When I almost cut my wrist
I know you're beaming bright
As I'm turning my back now
'Cause all that I had thought 'bout you
All turned to dust and clouds.

You said that I am strong enough
Does that give me a choice?
When all that I have hoped for
Withered like an ugly rose
If we get to see each other again
And ask me how it's been
I'll flash a smile, "It was all worthwhile,
You see, I'm evergreen."
In this poem, EVERGREEN was used metaphorically to refer to someone who remains perennially fresh, interesting, enduring or self-renewed.
Ceryn Jul 2013
I was never that girl.
Was I?

I know just right.

Take a deep breath.
Gladly turn your back.
Never drop a tear.
Just wish me luck.

I was never that girl.

We know just right.

"She's the one..."


*Not I.
Why did I even create this? I admit, this is one of my dullest poems. Failing, I guess?
Ceryn Nov 2014
There is a good reason
behind every disappointment
behind every awful failure
behind every painful fall
and every tear that rolls down
from one's weary eyes.

Yes, there is.

And someday,
we'll know what it is,
but I just hope
I'd still be here.
I'm tired.
Ceryn Feb 2013
Hey, hear my heart
It’s beating loud
That crazy pound
Please hear it out.

Now, it’s all I have
It is all I am
Do you hear my cry?
Do I have to try hard?

I know there is something beyond
Looking at your eyes
I can feel it in your touch
And now I see the spark.

I don’t wanna play your silly game
I don’t want to lose it all
I don’t wanna be the one to blame
When I make the final call

I don’t wanna ruin what we have
I just cannot take the pain
I don’t wanna play your silly game
Please don’t let me fall.

Hey, don’t try to hide
What’s on your side
It’s all I see
When you’re with me

Can you just be
What you’ve always been
‘Cause it burns my soul
And it freezes my skin

We know we’ll never have enough
If you’re not ever gonna stop
But if you’re madly insisting
Please do give me the real thing

I don’t wanna play your silly game
I don’t want to lose it all
I don’t wanna be the one to blame
When I make the final call

I don’t wanna ruin what we have
I just cannot take the pain
I don’t wanna play your silly game
Please don’t let me fall.

If you never plan to catch me
Please just let me go
For when hearts are hurt so badly
They tend to curse a stupid show.

If you just don’t feel it
Please walk away
But if you badly miss me
Then I’ll have to stay.

I don’t wanna play your silly game
I don’t want to lose it all
I don’t wanna be the one to blame
When I make the final call

I don’t wanna ruin what we have
I just cannot take the pain
I don’t wanna play your silly game
Catch me, I’m about to fall.
Ceryn Mar 2014
And when I dreamed of you, I know I’m losing you
I have no power over what I know isn’t true
You were like a million catch of flowers on a cold and barren ground
And just that beautiful when you took my heart

Free, you let those feelings fly around
You never hold it back
‘Twas easy for you to say those words
You never knew, it felt so good

So high, you brought me into highest lands
And pulled my thorns unarmed
Proving to me you’re worth it all
But now, I know I had to break my heart.

If you only see my invisible tears
You would know how much you made me feel
Had to bear with this pain again
‘Cause every day, I wait in vain.

I know I’m not the one you need
But would you mind if you try to erase my fears
I just want to get over you now
Just glad I had it with you, felt it somehow.
Ceryn May 2013

I thought it was right
to feel such for too much
that I deny every opportunity
to have a thousand guts and try.


It's all that has caused me
to lose a chance to be better
to face it all and save myself
from my own stupid downfall.


Sometimes, I wish I don't have to
but I know it's all I had to do
and in trying I know I'll learn
but I let the moment burn.


I could've been who I wanted
but it seemed I'm just so weak
to toss a coin and step on a thorn
growing up with a lame defeat.


I should've dared to ask
if it's a thing I'd be glad to know
if it's something so wonderful
but my if's were merely oh.


I'd like to let it show
out in the open, all, behold!
but just like the other fools
I stayed behind the door.


I believe life is so much greater
when we just have to believe
but doubts cloud up my messy mind
to let go or let my heart beat.


I knew I have loved him
I knew I felt him there
but since I am this fearful
apparently, I lost him instead.
Ceryn May 2013
I saw him. I saw him there.
I saw him again, standing there.
I knew then, the feeling didn't really go away.
It's still there... was always there.
I guess it will always be there....
here... here inside my heart...
where I keep all the memories we had,
the laughter we shared,
those conversations when I knew that he cared,
the tears I shed for the pain I felt,
those nights I spent for remembering him,
the days I knew I've spent loving him
while hurt
feeling the pain
knowing that I won't ever feel him
beside me again.
He was there, I know, he was there.
I saw him standing there.
He's still here in my heart.
But in my life, I know,
he'll no longer be a part...
There will always come a time when you come to see a person again, or just hear his name from a stranger or friend, or simply remember him because you're in "that" place again, and you just don't understand why you still feel the same way. Nothing has changed. You're still hurt, but nothing has changed...
Ceryn Jun 2016
I don't want to dance into the music before he grooves in harmony
I'm trying to keep my notes low before he realizes the perfect melody,
I try my hardest not to speak of rhymes before he makes up his poetry
I don't want to be the first to fall before he gives in to gravity.

I'm hiding the smiles he gave me, the sparks that fill my eyes
I'm keeping away the tingles, from your stares that totally entice,
I would not want to be the first to have my poor heart racing
I don't want to be the first to realize and slowly get the feeling.

I may have had a bad day, but you just turn it upside down
I may have frowned all day long, but you happen to be my clown
I may have hurt myself in the past, but you simply showed me how
To leave the painful mem'ries behind and finally cherish the 'now'.

For many times, I've been in scenes where the characters hurt me so
I have felt an endless rolling of tears from my eyes so long ago
And taking a chance and risking it again might sound a scary show
But though I don't want to be the first to fall, please don't let me go.

You helped me up, you brought life back, you kept me standing tall
Yes, I don't want to be the first to fall, but I'm not scared at all.
Ceryn Jul 2013
Play with words, but not with my feelings,
Forever, reach for your own sky
Find your glory until you touch the brink
But meddle not when I'm that high.

Your eyes may not simply discover why
Our hearts may not wander tonight
But let me show you my lovely guise
Away from stark heartaches and lies.

Hit one, strike a couple o' letters on the board
Let emotions flow until you can't seem to afford
Simply stream of consciousness working on us now
Then you'll have to put your heavy armors down.

See the beauty of your thoughts float by the bay
Together with your weary heart, let them go astray
Yours and mine, like blind ants, will surely find a way
A beautiful art, the poem in us, our love, I'll have to say.
Let me find myself behind these words. Let me find you through these words. Let us find each other by the power of words. Despite the impossibilities...
Ceryn Feb 2013

Many days ago
I’ve longed for another touch
You came to my life.


Wrestled with the pain
Of losing another chance
I blew it away.


Sometimes I believe
That what has left will come back
Same feelings will grow.


Visions came to me
We’ll both take over this world
Shine at last in love.
Ceryn Jul 2013
The genius of a thousand words all combined
through a fateful unity, no true clarity
to touch a stoical soul.
I love it.

The genius of her truly timeless thoughts
like that of a willful dreamer
lived, lasted, now braver.
I found it.

The genius of a playful imagery
bound to reconsider
glee or tragedy.
It is it.

The genius of a hopeful recovery
from the grimmest sorcery
with pure beauty, oddity
For anyone's anatomy
finds a way to thee
Oh, powerful,
Real genius,
Ceryn May 2013
Every good thing shall happen...

like Friday nights and party rush
surprise calls from a long-time crush
auburn leaves and a cup of tea
cozy couch and a good movie
a sweet embrace, granted wishes
locked up hands, friendly kisses
perfect music, fireworks galore
passionate poetry, books in store
skinny-dipping, pineapple juice
mountaineering, romantic cruise
stick-it notes and scented letters
white rose petals and silver glitters
dusty slip-on and faded pantaloons
sweetened berries and tasty prunes
smooth raps and slow rock hits
magnetic charm and awesome wits
11:11 verses and chicken bones
starry night skies, pebbles and stones
a perfect score, crispy pizza crust
locks and highlights, passionate lust
skirts and pumps, pictures of us
Halloween treats and wedding fuss
hot cappuccino, jam and jelly
first paycheck, winning the lottery
chocolate mousse, ice cold drinks
ocean waves, seductive winks
silk and laces, laughs after cries
cool car drifting and belly butterflies
left hand scribbles, messy hair buns
Oakley goggles and water guns
funny jokes, late night talks
rainy days, twilight walks
flickering lights, vintage cars
logs in swamps and monkey bars
a hopeful daybreak, latte aroma
fogged up glasses, squeaky veranda
carnation in bloom, warm summer breeze
slow love-making, trimmed cypress trees
naughty kiddie play, blindfolds and tricks
mistletoe and acorns, fresh and fancy kicks
baked salmons and grilled corn
ending fights and a newborn
free-verse poetry, an orchestral song
a stranger's smile, a dancing throng
finishing a novel, Luna's glow
binding friendships, December snow

but the best thing for me, I'd like you to know
is to tell you finally that I Love You So.
Ceryn Jan 2014
Hang on, young lady, and keep your head up high
Times do get rough, but someday you'll know why,
When your dreams seem impossible, trust your own fate
It always takes time if you aim to end up great.

Hang on, young lady, and keep that pretty smile
Forget your troubles and your cares even just for a while,
They may not know how hard you try to keep yourself alive
But don't forget that you're still worth it, for as long as you strive.

Hang on, young lady, and don't you ever quit on life
Love for happiness, speak the truth and stay away from strife,
Learn to dance under the rain when no one keeps you warm
Feel the chill, forget the gripe; to enjoy the harm does no harm.

Hang on, young lady, 'cause your poem doesn't just end here
Endings are sad, but know that it's time to finally end your fear,
When one thing ends, another then begins, that's what we all know
But endings are good, just be brave enough to start another awesome show.
Ceryn Mar 2014
There is a right place for dreamers
To scatter a pinch of their silver dusts
Over their words of real intensity
Away from a way too cluttered universe
Of the ones who crave for glory.

This is the right sphere
To fight against our beguiling demons
And knock them out of our lives
And silently bawl when they hit us
Dodge the attack of a million knives.

This is the haven of the wildest cries
Of a thousand lies from cursed lips
Burning souls from awful twists
Winging life out of the least
Becalming rhymesters’ shaking fists.
Ceryn Jun 2013
We can get through the bad times,
even through the worst ones.
We may see our sun down,
but we can get up more than twice.
We can find the light,
in the darkest corners of our soul.
The same way we dream of heaven,
though the world seems to fall.
We can read a lot about others,
And write about our own much better.
We can lead our lives to nowhere,
And see ourselves grow stronger.
We can break our own hearts today,
But we cannot stay broken forever.
We may not realize this clearly now,
But it won't take long before you find the answer.
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