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Ceryn Oct 2021
It is difficult.
This is difficult.
When you're not used to
being around people,
yet you're stuck in a place
where people expect you
to interact, communicate.
No matter how you hate it,
it's just how things should be.
No place for anxiety.
Ceryn Sep 2019
Pag-ibig ang naging sanhi
Ng mga luhang dala ng sakit
At pagkawasak ng pusong
Matagal na iningatan,
Sa isang iglap ay muling nasaktan.

Pag-ibig ang naging dahilan
Ng labis na pangamba ng pusong luhaan
Kung kaya't inakalang 'di na magmamahal
Ngunit muli ay aking napatunayan
Pag-ibig muli ang nagbigay-daan.

Pag-ibig, hinanap ko kahit saan
Tiwala, ibinigay ngunit hindi man lang nasuklian
Hindi mawari kung bakit lagi na lang
Ang sabi nila'y pag-ibig ang sagot sa pusong nalulumbay
Pero bakit di masumpungan, ano ba ang aking taglay?

Pag-ibig na hindi ko naisip na darating pa
Isang araw ng ika'y aking makilala
Pinilit kong ipinid ang pusong takot na
Nagmatigas man ang puso, pero sa hindi inaakala
Isip na ang nagpasya na pagbigyan pa
Pag-ibig, hindi ko alam na nariyan ka na pala.

Alam kong mahirap hulihin ang puso
Lalo pa't ito'y nababalot na ng galit at takot
Ngunit hindi mo pinansin ang lahat ng ito
Ipinagpatuloy pa rin dahil mukhang alam na alam mo
Na ikaw ay para sa'kin, at ako'y para sa'yo.

Natakot akong mahalin ka dahil ilang beses nang lumuha
At nangako sa sarili na hindi na ito mauulit pa
Ang muli pang masaktan ay 'di na makakaya
Ngunit ang sabi mo nga ay ibang iba ka
Kung kaya't pinagbigyan ang iyong pusong umaasa.

Tinanggap ko ang pag-ibig na iyong inialay
Hinayaan kong ang ating mga damdami'y magkapalagay
Binuksang muli ang puso kahit alam kong may takot pa
Pinili kong papasukin ka dahil aking nakita
Sa iyong mga mata ay may pagtingin na kakaiba.

Pag-ibig, hindi ko alam kung kailan ako naging handa
Pero para sa iyo, nagpasya akong muling maging malaya
Mula sa mapait na nakaraan na siyang bumalakid
Ngayo'y natagpuan ka, at muli kong nabatid
Kung paanong maging masaya sa piling ng isang tunay na umiibig.

Salamat, dahil nariyan ka na.
Salamat, dahil sinagip mo ang pusong wasak na wasak na.
Salamat, dahil muli kong nadama ang tunay na pagmamahal.
Salamat, dahil naramdaman kong ako'y mahalaga pa.
Salamat, dahil natuklasan kong maaari pa akong lumigaya.

Pag-ibig, kaya na kitang ibigay muli
Sa isang espesyal na tao na sa aki'y muling nagpangiti
Pag-ibig na buo, tapat, wagas at dalisay
Isusukli sa pusong nagmamahal sa akin ng tunay
Hindi magdadalawang-isip na ibigay ang buong puso
Sa taong minahal at tinanggap kung sino ako.

Pag-ibig, kaysarap **** madama
Lalo pa't ramdam kong ayaw ko nang umibig pa sa iba
Natagpuan na ang taong nais kong makasama
Hanggang sa pinakahuli kong hininga
Na hiram sa Diyos na sa atin ay  lumikha.

Tayo ang laman ng kwento ng Maykapal
Pinagtagpo upang maging patunay na may totoong pagmamahal
Pinaranas man sa atin noon ang sakit na dulot ng pag-ibig
Ang nakaraan ay hindi na muling manunumbalik
Dahil sa isa't isa, pag-ibig lang ang mamumutawi.

Pag-ibig, ikaw, ako at ang Diyos
Sa atin iikot ang kwento hanggang matapos
Sa piling ng Maykapal, kamay ko'y hawakan lang
Hindi ako bibitaw hanggang sa dulo ng walang hanggan
Sa'yo lang ang pag-ibig ko, sa'yo lang, aking mahal.
Ceryn Dec 2018
You were once that someone
Who always puts a different color to my days,
Who paints a smile on my weary face,
Who revives my soul with your warm touch,
And untangles me from my own knots.

You were once that someone
Who always pulls me for a dance when I just wanted to stare,
Who blossoms in winter when no one would even dare,
Who hums to a sad melody and makes it just right,
And fights my monsters when I would just resort to a flight.

You were once that someone.
Yes, you were once that only one.
But where in the world are you now?
Are you still in my world somehow?
When the only one that saves you
Leaves you battling alone and unarmed,
Will you still try to fight with just a cold bare hand,
Or just let go of it all, up to the very last strand?

You were once that someone.
How I wish you're still that only one.
But what a healing heart could only do now
Is to finally let go of what has come and gone.
The very thought of finally letting go and moving on always pains me a whole lot inside. A part of me tells me to still hang on to that tiny thread that spells hope, but a voice in my head tells me to love myself a little bit more. I have to choose.
Ceryn Sep 2018
It was hell, but I called it love,
And the whispers of regret became my favorite sound.
Your half-hearted love is what I look for in a crowd,
The games that you play kept me hanging around.

Like a garden of roses of black and purple hue,
More of thorns that cut, leave no mark or clue.
The worst place for hearts so fearless and bold,
Yet the perfect abode for a love that's stone-cold.

Heard my name resound; did you call out loud?
Glad you need me; you know I'm not trying hard.
I held out my hand, but where are you now?
I thought you'd be here, but you're not around.

You always surprise me, was that even fun?
Staying for today, so tomorrow you'll be gone.
Oh, how could you be that despicable someone,
To a girl who just thought you might be the one?

It was entirely hell, but I called it love,
Deep down, I know, it will always be.
But a love like mine won't forever survive,
Someday, I believe, it will set you free.
Ceryn Nov 2017
It's been a while, and yes, I still wonder why.

I wonder why He made all these things happen.
I wonder why He even let us meet at one point in our lives.
I wonder why He made us feel what we felt before we decided to feel nothing at all.
I wonder why He led us towards each other when we weren't even looking at our way,
then all of a sudden, He pulled him back in and made me alone again.
I did not understand a thing.
I did not see any sign.
I did not like the sound of my tears.
I did not like the way we said good bye.

I kept on asking why.

I kept on singing our old songs.

I kept on browsing through our old photos.

I kept on wondering why He made me cry for you so.

I kept on breaking my heart.

I kept on standing on a dry, cracked ground.

I kept on saying that I wouldn't mind,

but after all this time, all I realized...

If it matters more than anything else, it could've made sense now.

And that hit me deep inside.

Because even when I say that we all heal in time,

I knew I still can't love anyone, when my heart has long died.
Ceryn Apr 2017
Many days and nights, I wished my life could be like an Angel's harmony
Sweet... Perfect... In tune...
But during those many days and nights
While I wished my life to just come by
As flawless as my favorite fairy tales and fancy novels
Fate strung the wrong string
Pulled me out of my comfort ring
Turned everything upside down
And with billions of people around me somehow
I felt completely alone, doing every wrong thing all along.

Many days and many nights
Like the many nightmares that took away my smiles
While I went on with my own curse,
Breathing in the life that hurt me first,
Exhaling everything out of my weakened body,
Treading on a path that kept me cold and down and lowkey
Saving my weary soul from being burnt
Rescuing others while I was in absolute hurt,
Not realizing what it's all worth.

I thought it could be sweet... Perfect... In tune...

But like that one Angel who deviated from its moral roots,
Like its harmony that's destitute of perfect tune,
I had to live my life in all the darkest rooms.

I just want to run away from all this life's dooms
And run back into His hands and finally find my ultimate refuge.
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