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Mari-Elle Dec 2014
I
Will no longer
Play victim to my own life
I am the owner of my soul
It's time to act like it
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
Exhale you
In the middle of a crowded room
Pull you in again
Just to relive the truth

Cause when I'm feeling down
You're always around
Regardless of the way you drown me
And when I'm lost at sea
You're tastes takes hold me
I swear that you're drowning me

But I remember they said
It's bad for my health
And I remember they screamed
That you're not helping me
But in simpler terms
In far less words
I'm addicted
Mari-Elle Jan 2015
Stay a little while with me
And let your lips redraw my contours
Like the greatest cartographer
Working at his craft

Stay a little while with me
And let my hands retrace your bruises
As if to wish away the wrong done
To your beautiful skin

Stay a little while with me
And swear on stars alone
That when daybreaks comes
You won't disappear with the transitory moon

Stay a little while with me
And stay a little while longer?
Mari-Elle Dec 2014
With a heart the size
Of a clenched fist
She walks on apathy
Alone

No remorse
No remarks
No reparations
Just real, real disinterest

Who made you feel
Like everyone else didn't mean anything?
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
There's a place beyond the pines
Not sure you've heard of it
It's got every sort and kind
Of misfit

Pretty sure if I'm a sinner
Then that's a sort of saving
Pretty sure if you're a winner
Then your win is what I'm craving
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
Blue, wild eyes
Staring through me
As if you're searching intensely
For the part of me
That
Secretly loves you
Mari-Elle Mar 2015
She takes pictures
From roof top gardens
That over look a sea of wonder

He takes pictures of his brown skin
Of the fortune he inherited
From his ancestors

Somehow they are both classified as
*Cultured
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
You look like the middle of a daydream
Just praying on my wandering mind
If I could sum you up
In one word
It would be
*divine
Mari-Elle Dec 2014
And when you feel
Out of place and out of touch
I will push and pull
My way to you

Backward bound
Down a rain soaked road
I know I need to make my way
Straight to you

Even if you smile only once today  
I will know that I fought my hardest to fight your darkness away
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
I can see you
Sneaking into the kitchen at midnight
Turning on the light as if
It is the only cure to your problems
Just to waft through
The shelves and shelves of self hatred

I can see you
Hiding behind a baggy t-shirt
That is supposed to be baggier than it actually is

I can see you
Not wanting to get too close to anyone
Because the way that their hands
Traipse over the
Mountains and lumps that are
Your body
Makes you feel all sorts of uncomfortable

I can see you
Because
I am you

I can see how we've lived our entire lives
In fear
Of ourselves

People tell you that "It's just food"
No.

It is a comforting hand when no one is there
It is a way to feel good and bad simultaneously
It is a way to survive

Only it would be a lot easier to survive
If you didn't hate yourself whilst doing it

Right?
Mari-Elle Feb 2015
For the boy who sleeps
In the early hours
Of the sun-soaked Earth
I'm sorry your mind kept you from dreaming

For the girl who cries
At the very sight
Of herself
I'm sorry your mind kept you from self love

For the child who wishes
For something more
Than a poverty striken
Sense of imagination
I'm sorry your mind kept you from reaching more

For you
The one who waits
For life to be more
To be better
I'm sorry your mind kept you from creating it
Mari-Elle Dec 2014
If happy ever after
Weren't some desperate dumb attempt
To make us all believe that happiness
Is existent

Then I'd sit on some beach somewhere
Waiting for the moment
When happiness didn't feel so
******* important
Happiness is a state of mind
It
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
It
He was a train wreck
Occurring right outside a
vacant station.

No one heard
the endless succession of carts
hitting each other
like waves
or the roars of a burnt out engine.

Every single time he jumped
hoping that the fear of falling
and the dream of flying would both carry him to something better;
the weight of It held him down.

It was heavy.

Like storm clouds
or the news of a lost loved one.
If gravity were a hideous creature
It was the worst of them all.

They always said it had a cure.
All the same as how a smile could cure a broken heart;
the same supposed situations
that we all knew to be fables really.

The thing about it
was it's incessant reminders.
If he ran at this very moment
in any direction,
carried by winds and stars alone,
he would meet it at the end
with a cynical grin and long awaited hug.

If you're caressed by a demon
does it still feel like an embrace?
And that's exactly what it was.

A nighttime friend
with a habit of "sticking around" longer than any of his "friends".

It was a shadow of the boy
he used to be and better yet
a remnant of the boy he prayed
he could abandon.

All the while mom and dad said
that all he had to do was talk about it to the plain faced lady across the room with the soft voice and clinical eyes.

The one that treated him like a building block in the way he looked exactly as those before him and those that would follow.

And as for the white little pill
handed to him like a hero in
an 80's film,
well It had battled many of these before.

And like the true villain It was,
It always had a way of winning.
A poem about depression
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
He was beautiful
Abandoning the connoted femininity
Of the word

He was a brilliant masterpiece

But his strokes
Were ones of painful acceptance
Blood smeared over
Heartache

He was a sunflower

Tall and lanky
With the unspoken
Vibrance
Of his eternal petals

She could stare at him for hours
He both signified and condemned the idea
Of traditional
Beauty
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
Get out of your head
For awhile
It's not safe
To live there

With all that you've said
For a while
It's getting harder
To bare

You make me happy
And wanna cry
All at the same time
It's in your thoughts
And the way that you walk
That makes me wanna die

There's something about your mind
That's self destructing
There's something about your kindness
That's depressing
There's something about your love
That's caressing
There's something about you
That I'm
*Missing
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
And when I decide
That the weight weighs far too much
You'll remember me
And I'll remember all of the
Miserable
Blue ticks
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
I am a woman of the Earth
My hair as brown and dirtied
As the ground my toes caress
Beneath me

I am a goddess of this land
Taking only what I need and
Leaving the rest to be absorbed and
Cherished
By her people

Mother,
I am your obedient child
I nurture your nature
As you birthed me to do so

I am a woman of the Earth
No less sun than sky
And I carry,
Willingly
The trees in my heart.
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
The thing about loneliness
Is that it's perpetually present
With it's insane timing
And sense of resentment

The thing about loneliness
Is that it's a constant shadow
Hidden behind a childhood house
Or indented in my pillow

It's the mention of a lost love
Or a spontaneous epiphany
Knowing that not one living soul
Could ask for it specifically

It's a familiar face at an untimely funeral
And it lurks in the background sounds
Because even the faintest of hearts
Haven't got a clue of how to keep it out

But really you see,
The thing about loneliness
Is that I find a comfort in you
You're the only constant in my life
And you're a friend that reeks of truth

Because you don't need convincing
Yet you'd ignore an invitation
So tell me old friend,
How long until we meet again?
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
He fell in love with a walking hurricane
Putting a face to heartache as a name
She had a war going on inside her brain
She never knew that he'd love her all the same

'Cause fractured pieces
Can still make art
And wine will never cure a mistake
But choker chains
Made out of self restraints
Were worn by this runaway train

She was a runaway train
Mari-Elle Mar 2015
Why is it strange?

Well it's the feeling of happy hopelessness
It's acceptance of the end of all ends
And the beginning of goodbye

They told you not to wear it
Your mascara runs like free children
In abundance
It tells them all how much you dread the leaving

Walking away
Is easier when you're convinced
You're walking towards something better

But darling how could you not see
That you just walked away
From the best.
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
It's not that you left
It's that you were never here
It's really not that
I lost you
It's that you were never mine
In the first place
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
I know
I ***** and moan like an insolent
Child
But it hurts
And hurts
And hurts

When I feel
Like
I annoy you
With kindness

I'm aware that I'm
No moonlit dinner
But
Please
Please
Please
Stop treating me

Like a takeout meal

I can't be disposable
At least not to you.
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
Tell me

Tell me about your fears
Tell me about your transcendent wishes that run with the wind
Tell me you lose your mind sometimes

Like we all do

Tell me about your years
Tell me about your fluorescent ideas that come with your sins
Tell me you'd choose to die sometimes

Like we all do

I pray you'll let me in
On the secret that is your brain
You beautifully secluded
Enigma
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
And as I sat
Aimlessly
Taking pictures of a cloud filled
Sky
Through the rain draped window

I thought about the sun in your eyes
And how I missed the light
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
I tried to write a poem
About the tide in your eyes
But unsurprisingly
It didn't do you justice

I tried to write a song
About the pull in your lips
But unfortunately
It couldn't do you justice

You are so magical
That not even art forms
Can sum you up
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
I'M SO SORRY
THAT I
HAVE FEELINGS
FOR YOU

Believe me
I don't want to
And you don't want me too

So really we both want the
Same things
Even though
I still want
you
Mari-Elle Dec 2014
*****
You
******
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
I hate you
For making me
Love you
Mari-Elle Dec 2014
I'm not crazy about me
But
I am crazy about you
Mari-Elle Nov 2014
You are flowers.
You are the seven o'clock sun in the middle of winter.
You are the hand that holds a heart worth having.
And I owe so much to you.

You're not only the beginning,
But you're the remnants at the end of the day.
You are the warmest kind of person
And I marvel at you

Although there's a sadness that you cling to
I fight to keep it out
Because every part of you that hides
Is another part I want

So I've never been good at much
But you convince me of my worth
And the greatest part of that
Is knowing that I am nothing without you.
a poem for my best friend
Mari-Elle Dec 2014
All I want
Is to be yours

All I need
Is for you to want me
To be yours

— The End —