it's all gravy
perched on steps so long your knees don't bend, shivering under the
icy calculations of relatives that don't even remember
your name.

you whisper incantations into your cup, stirring the air with your pinkie
and focusing on being thankful
you're thankful people put up with you -- even if they don't
share things
or even acknowledge your existence.

two turkeys in one day and you feel stuffed, stuffed with apprehensions and realizing
no one wants to talk to you

How the trees lean to the south
where the sun swallows the day

How the moon at night will push her
over the western edge
spilling colors into the sea

How in the garden at night
I make my way through shadow
following the music of loons

their sad blue notes
rising into a glossy sky
sparkled with stars

forever falling

A tear today,
        A smile tomorrow.

I cried today,
         and tomorrow I will be okay.


© Pax

Horror speaks in silence
    and Fear speaks in signs
              it’s written on my face
                        and on the faces I see.

How did I end up here?

A masked man brought us food.
The smell of it drives us mad in hunger.
We eat like we're crazy.
Devouring it like messy animals.

I see the eyes of superiority
            in the sight of the masked man.
I look at them with deep curiosity.
He looks back with a look of intent.
Deep blue eyes inspect the whole me.
then I realized, everyone, including me
            wears nothing but just two pieces of
                                                      undergarments.                
I quickly cover my well-being,
then he just walks away.

I felt ***** ,
            Weary,
and Cold in this rusty dark place.
Where are we going?
Our future is uncertain.
I felt that our life is for sale,
like animals going to be slaughtered.

Sleep is taking my reality
Hoping that dreams will wash away
            the fear, horror and uncertainty along the way.                      




*© Pax

My body is a temple and
on holidays, they prey.
"Come to the feast,"
An invitation to
forgive and forget
the sins and trespassings
of crucifixation.

The body and blood of
--oh Christ--
Taken by you, shed by me,
as this Holy wine saves us
from a judgment
between comforting beliefs
and cold, hard facts.

Love, Loss, Lust,
The divine Trinity that
brings us to our knees
in front of the altered;
Bliss-ed is he who comes
in the place of the Lord.