Living in your car
you had nothing but yourself
no one there to love you
no one but yourself

You hide behind
a curtain of glass
every night before you
get in the ring

You break your bones for fun
they want to see your nose bleed
cuts and bruises all over your back
is what keeps them entertained
They pay good money for your show
though they always bet on your rivals
it's not enough to make a living
but it's not too little to **** you either

Bleached your hair again
cover up the grey
your daughter won't recognize you
you haven't seen her in days

You wake up in your car
you wish you could die
you limp to the gym
because you have a show tonight

You hide behind
bottled-up feelings
right before you
get in the ring
to die again and again
every night
to stay alive
and keep them entertained.

I remember us stealing our daddy's car
we drove at night, your dress black as tar
went to the beach and you screamed freedom
like a dog howling at the midnight moon

The street burned hot in the midday's sun
and in the church down the road the sermon's begun
remember how they wouldn't let you in no more
because of the floral skirts you wore
and never got quite rid of the stench
of the *** that you smoked on our front porch bench

You never managed to hold down a job
never worked a day, cause you got lost
in words of beauty, your own poetry
even wrote a little something for good ol' daddy

snakes surrounding my trailer
kick down the door
break all windows
knock me to the floor
I know what they're here for

they want me
I know that they want me
they don't even hide it
black eyes, black hair, black stare
he doesn't even hide it

a punch to the guts
a cut on my cheek
kisses me with a fist
my eye as black as his
he knew he wouldn't miss

and they want me
I can feel they want me
he doesn't even hide it

whisper into the night
hissing like vipers
biting like vipers
poisoning my wine
running out my nose
poisoning my mind

they got me
they know that they got me
I don't even hide it
black eye, black hair, blank stare
he takes my hand
and leads me out.

my hands are *****
as is my mind
as is my record
my hands are covered in earth

he tripped
not once, not twice
promised the wrong
he slipped
fell
stayed down

they made sure he'd stay down
taken from his son
his life, his place
his right
to watch the forsythias bloom
when they spring with yellow and hope

your boy is coming for you
coming to get you out
take you home
tuck you in
throw away your bottles
as they scream for you from the south

They grant him one wish
facing his fate in a cell
and he wants to see the forsythias bloom
and one blossom
blinks her eyes
with freedom

I sink
deeper and slower
into emerald
and turquoise so dark
it's almost black
the water claiming me
finally, as it should
pressuring my lungs to collapse
under the lightest weight
engulfed in deep blue
love

Your love
is in the blood
running through their veins
dripping from their hands
the voice
roaring out of their throats
the metal
armoring and wounding bodies.

Your love
pulsates in their wrists
beats in their chests
hot and passionate
uttered in everlasting violence
and tears falling for fallen ones.

But most of all your love
is destiny,
their destiny
the calling they answer
the home they return to
you.
Ares, you.

Layers and layers and layers
of people, cars, buildings
the Big Apple
one giant parfait
loved by the rich
too expensive for the poor
a little for a lot
and the waiter smiles
fake and shallow
as he hands them the dessert
without them knowing he spat into it
and sprinkled it with the dust
of his bombed apartment on 64th
which lies in the past of another
bank
another office
another yoga oasis
another Apple parfait
for the rich