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 Jun 2014 marcia noria sono
Caroline loves the ocean.  
Her soul sails on a Carolina breeze.
But her music's in the mountains,
and her heart's back home
where it needs to be.

I'm stuck here
in a Carolina wind,
wading in the ocean
with my heart in Tennessee,
and my mind on Caroline.

Carolina's got everything
a man could want.
Everything he needs.
It's got the mountains and the ocean.
It has a Carolina breeze.

He has everything but Caroline;
everything but Tennessee.

r ~ 6/22/14
  |     Carolina ocean breeze
/ \
My mother should be an author
She carves her soul into millions of pieces
Leaving it behind all of the family photos
When I see my mother
I see a woman
Who wants to hide her soul in a needle
Just so the screaming can stop in her mind,
These bottles are rattling in the living room
You see they have put shackles on her heart,
She can't love anymore
Without having ***** in her water bottle.

Where is she hiding her beer?
I feel like my mother is giving me a scavenger hunt
From the shards of glass that were left on the baseball fields
My mother used to take me to.

You know she always wasn't like this
She was strong minded and had a big heart
Tonight I will tell you the story of a woman
Who lost her soul to the Keystones to the Miller Lites
To the ****** Mary’s.
Let's rewind time
See ******* the soul in ten years

10- I look into my mother's eyes and I start to cry
Because I'm looking at a woman who I don't know anymore

9- I refused to bail her out of jail again
Because I'm afraid her kidney will fail if she drinks again

8- My mother staggered into the theater and disrupted the whole play,
My cast mates turned to me and asked, isn't that your mother?

7- I had to hold my mothers hand
Because she was throwing up the cocktail of drugs and alcohol

6- Daddy had to get mom out of jail she was drinking again

5- My mother throws the bottle across the room
And told me the reason why she drinks is because I'm Autistic

4- My mother overslept for my piano recital,
I didn't think it was a big deal
But I remember she spent the whole night crying
With a wine glass in her hand.

3- Mommy I didn't know your prescription came in a needle

2- Mommy the prescription say 2 pills a day
why are you taking 6?

1- My mother went to the doctor
Found out that she has Rheumatoid Arthritis
I don't know what that means,
But I know she will still be strong right?

0- She took me to a Dodger game for my birthday.
I remember Sammy Sosa hitting a home run that game
She told me that the only person that can **** your soul is yourself
" I must have flowers, always, and always. " ~ Claude Monet ~
I'm afraid to "grow up" because that means I will have reached the end of my potential; it will mean that no matter what I'm doing, I will be doing it to "make a living" and then live that life that I'm supposed to want to live--except that I don't.
I'm supposed to spend eight hours, every day, doing a series of mundane tasks that I secretly wish I didn't have to do--that I secretly wish would somehow **** me--all for a paycheck that allows me to keep a roof over my miserable head and keep poison in my fat body to just keep on breathing so I can continue this cycle of attending this mundane job to pay for this living that feels so lifeless.
And for what? So I can go out a few hours a week and spend my extra time with other human beings--my extra time that I wish I could just spend without--and pretend, for their sakes, that I desire to be with them; that I desire to spend this time here, on this earth, performing for them and the world and everyone else?
So, really, the meaning of life--the reason to go on living--is so that those who spend their own few, precious, extra hours with me can go on, knowing I'll be there, wearing my mask, so they can feel as if they're making a living out of this life.

...But if I don't "grow up," I can possibly continue to fool myself into believing that life will, some day, be worth living.
2020: okay, Peter Pan. My job is amazing and my life is so friggin worth it.
My feet hurt.
Cause see I've been walking...
Walking so much...
So long...
I don't remember where I'm going...
See I'm tired!
I'm worn out...
Tired of how these situations played out...
But in the back of my mind.
I remember a time...
A time when all I had was energy.
When you was feeling me.
Always with me...
All I wanted was you over me...
Cause you know the little things...
Who wants to start back at square one?
How am I supposed to reset my love...?
...but then again...
Should I put up with all the **** in-between...?
Yeah you "love" me...but do you love me...?
Cause if not I can truly understand...
These feelings have no direction.
My heart acts out uncontested.
From my brain who's been estranged.
Since that very day.
-when I realized all love ain't the same...
As much as I want you with me...
I can't sacrifice who I am....
...I wish it was that easy....
Your just bad for me.
But I'm in love with it.
...In love with the idea of you.
...the things we could do...
...the things we could achieve...
You bring the best of you...
and I'll provided my best me...
I don't wanna be like everybody else...!
I wanna build what's right for you and me...
Make a sculpture of two beautifully crafted human beings...
Who seem to be crumbling...
And on the verge of falling apart...
The verge of failure...
...on the verge of being lost..
Only to have the pieces restored by God and his love...
See my feet hurt...
And my mind is weak.
And before I collapse into your arms...
...just remind me, that your all me...
Cause I'm tired of walking...
I've been walking so long...
So much...
I don't know where I'm going...
Am I walking too...
Or away from love......
Don't say it's okay
Don't say it's fine
I drag
the heart
you tore apart
into a straight line
A drawing on paper meant for
the skin, a picture brought to life
in colour. Inked on the flesh a
meaning of words, that means
something special to that someone
about something.

In black and white shaded in parts
colours brining a drawing to life on
naked skin.

Ink of the artist a needle instead of
the pen, etched in to the skin a drawing
takes shape shaded beauty the skin a
canvas only the person picks the part
for the artist to fill in.

Each a unique moment now frozen,
ink on the body an art form on the
parts chosen for a new journey to begin.

Now there for the rest of there life,
never to fade a reminder of the artist
and the ink he or she put in.
 Apr 2014 marcia noria sono
woman take it as fact
your qualities
are your character

and what that character
expresses with
mind body and soul
Soul = Heart
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