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 Jul 2016 cassiopeia miel
My Best Friend

It's cliche to say I'm in love with my best friend,
Or to say that she's my soul mate.
But those are the only words humanly possible to describe it.
I can tell her anything
If I have a random thought at two in the morning
And I wake her up,
She won't be mad.
She's half awake but she listens. She'll tell me it's okay
Hold me until I fall asleep,
Wait until she hears my steady breaths
Wait until I stop shifting.
It's so intimate in those moments.
When there's nothing around us but the soft whir of the A/C and the warmth of her love.
Or when she's crying in her room and the only words she can muster are apologies for things she didn't do and can't control.
And I sit,
The only words that calm her down.
She knows them well.
I sit with her,
Sometimes unsure of what to do,
Doing the only thing I know.
And wait.
I wait until it subsides.
And I wipe the tears gently from her eyes.
Push her hair out of her face,
Kiss her sweaty forehead,
And whisper lightly in her ear
Everything is alright.
Letting her know
I love her,
And I will always be here for her.
For she is my best friend
And my soulmate.

-1:30 a.m. K.E.
Narcolepsy* hard and heavy watch me fall asleep
            Lulled to bed in a cunning thread of the tangled web we weave
    I dream in pristine colors, windows of my mind anew
No fingerprints or ***** looks or evidence of you

         I find comfort in forever wherever it may be
        I may have left my home but it will always stay with me
                 The smell of all the smoke with the sound of all the rain
   On constant playback every second deep within my brain

        I found that time is all that matters and everything else faded
        I spent years and years learning how to forget everything I hated
    I've only gotten older and have nothing left to show
              Except a ringing alarm clock and blood on my pillow

Narcolepsy** hard and heavy watch me as I sleep
     Another pill, another high, another date to keep
      If I shall die before I wake, I hope that I'm with you
    Then it won't matter where I go, cause you will see me through
"Back away." she said.
"My heart is dark, and my mind is no Eden,
I can't let you in, its a place occupied by my demons."

He blinked, startled at her words.
She blinked, surprised at the smile on his face.

"Come closer." he said.
"My heart is ablaze, and in my mind resides hell.
It will be the perfect place for your demons to dwell."
Please don't tell me
that you've always been in love
with me and that you will always
have these feelings for me
I don't buy that
Please don't call me
at 4am with heart
felt messages in a
drunken state
I won't buy that

Please don't chase me
when I run away from
you, when I desert you
halfway through dinner and
scream hellbent 'I love
you's' at me across the street
I shan't buy that

Please do
that I am faithful to
no-one, that I
am capable of
nothing, save destruction
and that I do not buy
into the ideals of love,
into anything more than
***** fuelled hook-ups
and faible, fiery passion.
I want to be able to write properly again so so so badly
I feel as though if I persevere with this **** then one day I might just get it back
A place with elves
dwarves, hobbits and men
A place with tales
We hear again and again

A place with adventure
That will never die
A place to laugh
And a place to cry

A place with songs
Of ancient days
Sung by elves
Merry and gay

A place where you hear
The hobbits laughter
Where they live
Happily ever after

Where mountains are filled
With silver and gold
Where the dwarves mine
Mighty and bold

A place with men
In cities of stone
And their great king
Sits on a beautiful throne

A place with lore
To others unknown
A place that I love
A place that's my own

There I live
And there will I die
In middle earth
My heart will lie

— The End —