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She's gone.
On and on
I think of her,
but in the end,
she's gone.

Her kiss I miss,
her eyes
still cry for me,
but in the end,
she's gone.

Those moments when
we lay together
it seemed forever,
but in the end,
she's gone.

I hold her hand
in memory
a thousand times,
but in the end,
she's gone.

 Oct 2021 mal frost
an August rich with wanting
in September my leaves changed colors
and I fell into madness.
in heaven too
she cries only of this earth
and all her dreams are worldly still

if you are here already; stay a while
so the earth my seem less like prison
and more like boundless sky

writing as if to save a life
keeping death alive
for we live through the dead
as much as they live through us

you are walking and catch a glimpse of yourself
your hair, and your face not beautiful but perfect still
there are moment then when you feel alive
do you remember yourself as much as you remember others?
write poetry for how much you missed being you

no one understands who you are
you have to make a you that understands
like a little bird singing from the branches of your heart
you have to sing a song that only you know the words to

for no one else is living for you
only you are

there is a house
where we put away our hatred
and its walls are tiny
but tinier yet are its windows
you’re letting time
determine your ability
and turning to stone slowly

you keep your dead love alive
in another house
and you love so deeply
you get carried away in it

you live in the hair of your lover
and breathe when they breathe
you **** your self little by little to be someone
to anybody

I am not a poet Tulsa
I am a weak willed person
trying to hold all of life
in my weak willed arms
I wanted to hold it
and I wanted to face everything
scary because
I was walking one day when
a sudden rush hit me that everything
was possible and it was
almost unbearable
it was almost unbearable how
full of life I was at that moment

I wanted to try
I wanted to try
what is it with that and never being enough.
I knew you'd leave,
but I wanted you to lie to me
so I could pretend to be wanted,
just for a moment,
For a breath
A moment
A kiss
A lie
i'm sitting here thinking about
what i actually have
and all too quickly realizing
that it's nothing
i have nothing
i am alone
but that's not how i wanted it
i just don't want to be a burden
and i mess every relationship up
i wish i knew what to do right now
because i'm scared
that will never get any better
 Apr 2021 mal frost
maybe people are meant
to fall in love
but not meant
to be together.

i was coming to terms with this
only to find out
we werent in love.
i was.
you never loved me
you didnt feel anything for me
you tried to,
but loving someone isnt something
you can make happen.

we always said we were meant to be, right?
perfect for each other
you said our love was pure
and real
and unbreakable.
look at it now,
its shattered.

falling in love with you
was the easiest thing
ive ever done.
falling out of love
will be the hardest.
i guess the [lovers] code has been cracked.
 Apr 2021 mal frost
 Apr 2021 mal frost
know that its not really a bad thing to realize these things, rather than not realizing them ever.
 Apr 2021 mal frost
 Apr 2021 mal frost
من الصعب إسعادي. حيثُ أنّ سعادتي تختبئ في ثنايا الأشياء.
مثلًا سماع أغنيتي المفضلة تخرجُ من نوافذ السيارة المجاورة، أو أن أجد قميصي خالٍ من التجاعيد عندما أُخرجه من الخزانة، التوت بعد يومٍ من الجوع، الاستيقاظ قبل موعد المنبّه بنشاط، مساعدة أحدهم بالإنصات أو النّصيحة.
ابتسامة غريبٍ في وجهي.
رسمة على الورق.
قلب أزرق.
أشياءٌ كهذه، لا تُباع ولا تُشترى، و إنّما تُصنع و تُحس.
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