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mal frost Oct 2021
throw my phone on airplane mode
start anew
with her, of course

i dream of countless futures
and try to build the ones where we can be together

i don't want to give up on that dream,
not now,
not ever.

sometimes I feel like maybe it's destined
maybe this already happened and I'm just slowly remembering it
a helpless passenger in the grips of time

in which case,
hopefully it'll be a fun ride
mal frost Oct 2021
it scares me, sometimes
how much I need you

i know i haven't always treated you fairly
and not a day goes by
without my thoughts being stirred into a frenzy
into guilt, regret
paranoia, sometimes.

i love you, though
like i've never loved before,
and I know we're young and foolish,
but I always will
because you're a part of me, now

and all I could ever ask for
is to love and be loved,
because you are my redeemer, my darling

and the world could be ours, one day
we could go anywhere,
do anything,
be anyone,
together

but until then, I'll keep riding this wave with you
and we'll paint our sunset in all our favorite hues
a rollercoaster of serenity on the path to infinity
mal frost Oct 2021
and I can recall it perfectly
we must have met in a dream, once
in my ethereal wanderings
I remember being with you
we were in a park
pushing ourselves back and forth on a swing set for two

and I turned to you,
the sun beaming down on us
your hair glittering in gold
skin glowing like the moon on those rare summer nights

and I asked if you were real,
not an uncommon question
i had been a lucid dreamer for quite a while by then
wary of the characters spawned by my subconscious

and you smiled at me,
ever so radiant,
and answered, your voice angelic as always
"someday"

and I waited my life for you,
and now you're here,
the past four months showed me heaven is real
and it all begins here on Earth, with us side by side

and i beamed back at you,
knowing we wouldn't be apart and alone forever
i love you, my darling
and i always will


happy four months <3
you are the 0 to my 1
i really love this girl and i don't want to ever lose her. it scares me but I love it.
mal frost Sep 2021
i brought you back the prey you always told me to ****,
yet you were horrified at what I had to become

the hunt changed me,
as it always does,
but it was all your doing, you cruel, selfish, horrific excuse
for a guardian,

feeding me all the wrong reasons to live
teaching me all the right ways to sin,
trying to keep me under your thumb like a tack

i'm almost free, now

i know you sense it

so long isn't so far away, after all
The only difference between life and dying
Is one is trying, that's all we're called to do
mal frost Sep 2021
you are the soul i’ve searched for,
far more beautiful and capable than I could ever even imagine,
although i’ll tell you,
again and again,
as the heat of the summer envelopes us,
just how gorgeous you are
and how i’m yours, now and forever,

every memory with you a dazzling display,
a kaleidoscope of water lilies in bloom
you are my crown chakra,
my Sahasrara,
my thousand petaled lotus,
each petal a moment more beautiful than the last
timeless, immanent,
a respite in the deserts of my existence,
that I once mistook for a mirage,
thinking it to be almost too good to be true.

but now, with the patience and faith you taught me to find for myself,
we bloom,
sacred flower and thorned rose,
in our own Garden of Eden
poem i wrote for someone special a while back... just celebrated three months with her the other day  :)
mal frost Sep 2021
was locked out of my account
for a while

hopefully i can pick this back up,
it's been tough without it
mal frost May 2021
i am a thing that thinks
that thinks about thinking and making things think
(i study AI/cognitive science)
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