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It's okay. These words'll fall
on deaf ears, but act like you're listening,
anyway.

It's not okay. Carrot and stick.
Couldn't i have been your,
first pick.

WE'RE OKAY. BECAUSE THE FLINCHES
THAT RUN THROUGH YOU
WHENEVER MY HAND MOVES.
tell me a thousand words more
than anything you could say.

we're not okay. i pushed my love off
onto the canvas called the sky
to paint you a clearer picture.

I'm fine.
You're fine.
This has happened BEFORE.
but don't worry

Soon we'll be....
Soon We'll be...
 Apr 2016 Makenzie Odom
Philia
After all this time,
All this pain,
This stupid tears,
This broken heart,

It's always been you.

After all of my madness,
All of my ignorance,
All of my rejections,
All of my anger,

It's always been you. Still.

I just...
don't want you to hurt me again,
**carelessly.
Why is it no matter how many words
   I plaster to a page with a broken heart,
How many poems I write about you,
How much I love you,
   That we aren't together living in happily ever after?

You're engrained into every cell of my existence.
Because every beat of my heart cries out in pain for you.
Every tear that escapes from these hollowed eyes,
    Is every word I left unsaid to you.

*I'm sorry I never confessed my love for you,
It's just something you didn't need me to do.
Maybe you'll one day find out and know,
Perhaps then we will unite in love.
Tonight is just so much pain,
Of not having you.
 Apr 2016 Makenzie Odom
Sjr1000
I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know what I'm feeling
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know who I'm being
I'm overwhelmed,
frustrated,
I can't cope

These are the slogans
I repeat to myself
Over and over again

Oh yeah

I'm a failure too
I've lived this life
What did I do?
What do I have to
show for it?

These facts about myself
are the one thing
I'm very positive about.

I repeat these slogans
day in and day out
always wondering
what I'm so
depressed about

I bury my head in these sands

Suffocating
Smothering
choking on anxiety
in my own
advertising slogans
on my private airwaves

To complicate
matters
worse
just because we think something
doesn't make it true
that goes for
self worth too.

But

Mindfulness
stands
watching the passing cars
from a freeway overpass
like our racing thoughts
not holding on
not making them go away,
in peace
simply
letting them
be.
States of mind are transitory, come and go.
I let you in,
You pushed me out.
I built you up,
You filled me with doubt.
I gave you reasons to smile,
You tore me down.
I gave you words of encouragement,
You were the reason behind my frown.
I have kept every secret you told me,
You betray me.
I prevented you from feeling trapped,
You prevented me from being free.
You don't care,
You continue to hurt me,
You were never there.
You pushed me away,
Slowly at first, then all at once,
More and more each day.
Guilting me into staying by your side,
Controlling me like a puppet,
Making my emotions your free roller-coaster ride.
What kind of sick friendship is this?
Am I someone you really trust?
Or is this a friendship that won't be missed?
I remember just a year ago
when I was counting
because there were so few
that I could number them
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