In the car,
we sit in silence.
I watch colors change
with the motion of ripples
as the blood orange rays of sunlight
glimmer over the lake
Tears gently hold onto my cheeks
and wrap around my jawline
while facing only the reflection
of light against liquid
You take my hand in yours
and hold it to your chest.
No words are exchanged-
enough to make me feel
as bright as the light
reflecting from the surface of water
enough to make me sense
the garden growing
between the bones of my ribcage
enough to make me love
the pure delicacy
of not life,
The taupe cotton sheets are warm
with remembered dreams
The sweet aroma of sleep
permeates the dry air
as the sun peaks through the drapes,
welcoming daytime into the house
like an old friend.
I slide out of bed quietly
after kissing her freckled forehead,
and tiptoe across the cool wooden floor,
looking forward to the bittersweet smell
of dark roast coffee.
The black matte mug is her favorite.
I slink back into the room,
placing the mug on the bedside table
just as her eyelids begin to part
revealing the grass green pillows
around her pupils.
I smell the coffee
I see her
and I smile.
It is a beautiful life,
I guess we never really know if we are jumping into
a lake blindfolded..
I guess there will always be an obstacle or distraction
that either makes or breaks our trust;
not always permanent, but sometimes
(and even a lot of times)
So, how do we know when to fully trust,
when a betrayal has scarred us?
That must be a blessing and a curse-
the unknown is both brutal and beautiful
and all we can do, as souls in this life an universe,
is choose to jump, tip toe in, or stay dry.
But one thing is for certain, and that is
we all dry off eventually...
even if we jump at the wrong time.
It is our own job to make the choice,
and that is what creates the beauty of the unknown.
- Am I choosing the right time to jump?
P.S. No one else can choose for you.
A moment has passed since
I could smell the ginger on your skin
and taste the honey on your lips
In this moment,
radiance shined through
the cracks of your armor
as I observed you once again
with a new sense of relief and understanding.
I listened to your hushed thoughts
break free from the shields
and flutter through the ivory marrow
of the gates which guarded
the sliver of hope I held within me
I warmly welcomed the whispers
into my home
with one memory in mind;
You and I sitting side-by-side....
Breaking each other's hearts....
And then I said to you
"I won't ever leave you.
Regardless of what you take me as.
I will always be there for you,
Now I am here
in this moment,
keeping my promise.
And in this moment,
I am happy and full of light.
The air was cold
and the moon was full
A gray glow
hovered over your being.
I stood silently in the street,
noticing the surrounding objects
It had been snowing,
I touched a particle in the air
and watched it dissolve on my fingertips.
Then I looked back up at your dark figure
and you smiled at me...
But this time,
with crimson flames in your pupils.
Although it was 40 degrees in Fahrenheit
on this frigid March night,
I felt heat on my chest and perspiration
sticking to my skin.
You slowly walked toward me
with hazel eyes flickering
in my direction
You raised your palm
to my cheek, just in time
to brand my fragile skin
before I could back away.
you smiled once more
as you turned your back to me
and walked into the abyss of the night
I fell to the asphalt,
clutching my burning cheek
with my hand
and screaming in pain-
Alone. Weeping. Cold.
And then I woke up
to the warm sun
stroking its rays along my arms,
as I turned my head
to meet the eyes
of her pure being,
and I smiled with relief.
For it was the first nightmare
in a long time
and would hopefully be the last.