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Mae Feb 11
Just one thing remains stuck in my brain
the small detail at the very end of the night
(of course it would happen then)
All things seemingly in the clear, ready to let the story end
But when we walk from the bar
to their house
and to our car
eventually we had to part ways
A quick, "goodnight" exchange
and then nothing
And as I turn for a clue or something
Your back is turned to me
and your walk is quickening

I remember it's not my responsibility to care about you anymore
as awful as that makes me feel
As my eyes followed you away
I noticed how your partner walked alongside you,
just as swiftly
Hand in hand
comforting
you as you brushed me off
Supporting your hasty scurry,
walking away together cowardly
How could you leave
without even looking at me?

So many memories arise as an answer...
All right there, ready to be touch...and be remembered
How I've long forgotten many...
Tempting to be retrieved, felt, and thought about
I have no doubt
That they're deadly

And besides, I learned from the best
to get by I just
brush it off
Allowing that detail
to be our last goodbye
Mae Feb 11
Meeting with you and seeing you once again...
After all of this time, is it sad of me to say?
That not much has changed
Now that my eyes are open
And my defenses are up
I feel as if I see the picture as a whole
Just as before, you put your heart before mine
Even though I only could tell for half a second

It was all I needed to counter the bit if desire I still have
To reach into the past
Recollecting what was shattered
It's nothing but a dream

This terms of this relationship has never been up to me
Not with us
Not with you
I have no choice
Except to linger or disappear

Lingering means you, even if it's just a piece
Disappearing means freedom
I don't really have a choice do I...
Freedom is bittersweet
And never really feels like freedom at all

Although a lot of if's cross my mind
I know none of it could fool anyone
Everything between us has died
And I am content
I've had my closure
The best that it's going to get
Mae Feb 8
"You have retrieved my long lost heart"
I whisper to her through the dark,
"...keep it. And please take care of it."
Mae Jan 17
"Falling in love"
is the perfect description
The fear-filled sensation of anti-gravity
The wonder of the unknown
The adrenaline pulsing
Keeping me going
Falling
for you in every way
She's the one. The next one. The last one?
Mae Jan 17
Black liquid licks every curve of my body
It seaps into every pore
Alone I float in these deep sticky waters
No escaping
Except by sinking
Another oldie
Mae Jan 7
A mask with a face that no one knew
But you
I let you see me
Be with me
Naked and scared I lie awake now
Your selfish words still robbing me
How?
And now you say that I am guilty
But I shared with you my reality
Everything I knew about myself at that time
But after time
You began slipping
Tripping
Falling into the cracks of your own mask
So I gotta ask
Was it the pressure of your own fears that broke you?
Because I was nothing but kind to you
There for you
When the rest of the world refused to be
And now that we
are nothing but strangers
*were nothing but strangers
Somehow your walls
= my mask?
Your fears
for my innocence?
I should no longer have to suffer
From your hesitance
Being cheated is the worst ain't it? It truly is so invasive and it robs you of everything you gave to that person. In my case....it was everything.
  Dec 2018 Mae
Mike Hauser
i had no idea what love was
until it disappeared
or the joyful sound it made
until silence was all that i could hear
or the beauty that it held
in a single tear
i had no idea what love was
until love disappeared

i had no idea what love would take
until it was gone
took apart this wanting heart
left behind this weary soul
would i have let it get this far
if only i had known
i had no idea what love would take
until love was gone
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