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Mae Jun 5
Your lies are as pale as the backside of my thighs
The worst shade really
Mae May 25
An empty chest
A stomach of pain
Swirling thoughts
Around in my brain

Countless hours
No time to live
Everything I am
I have to give

There's no point
Unless there's love
An endless equation
No one can solve

Day by day
It's all the same
Misery and sarrow
With someone to blame

Are you living?
Finding happiness
Or are you surviving?
Combatting mental illness

No courage to get help
Independence is key
Aid is unaffordable
Never free

Kindness of the innocent
A beacon of light
Someone to follow
Out of the black night
Mae Mar 27
It's just me here
Speaking to the void that appears as a blank page in front of me
Any words I speak to others that contains any meaning only reflects negativity
The glimmers of me I let shine through the holes of my shell are always quickly denied
It seems no one wants to even look at me

It's clear I don't fit anywhere in this world
If actions speak louder than words then the world has preached novels to me
Lecturing me to leave

It's just me here
A cast away holding onto the last thread
Consciousness desparately dangling
I wish something would grab me and tell me it's okay
I'd be content with being pulled towards either direction
I just need to be told I'm meant to be somewhere
That I'm wanted
Mae Feb 28
Fight for me.
Trust me.
Love me.

And I'll give you the world.
Another heartbreak.
Mae Feb 26
Too much time has been spent focusing on the past
Without it this reality would not exist
But settling in the comfort of familiarity is not growth

This new reality is the next step
It's uncomfortable
But there's no more time
for experiments
test runs
or observation

Time to glance ahead
With feet planted in the present
Not because the future is bright
Like everyone chatters about
But because it's coming
And it's coming now

Hard lessons have yet to be learned
Deaths and heartbreak will be mourned
Catastrophies will turn back the clock
Undoing everyone's hard work

Only so much growth can sprout from the nutrients of one event
And survival results in a layer of strength just to be worn off by the next wave
I'm panicking a lot about the future. Usually I don't need to look ahead, but some things in my life are telling me I have to.
Mae Feb 11
How oddly romanticized
the word "muse" has become
For my muses have been nothing but infuriating
and dumb
Mae Feb 11
Just one thing remains stuck in my brain
the small detail at the very end of the night
(of course it would happen then)
All things seemingly in the clear, ready to let the story end
But when we walk from the bar
to their house
and to our car
eventually we had to part ways
A quick, "goodnight" exchange
and then nothing
And as I turn for a clue or something
Your back is turned to me
and your walk is quickening

I remember it's not my responsibility to care about you anymore
as awful as that makes me feel
As my eyes followed you away
I noticed how your partner walked alongside you,
just as swiftly
Hand in hand
you as you brushed me off
Supporting your hasty scurry,
walking away together cowardly
How could you leave
without even looking at me?

So many memories arise as an answer...
All right there, ready to be touch...and be remembered
How I've long forgotten many...
Tempting to be retrieved, felt, and thought about
I have no doubt
That they're deadly

And besides, I learned from the best
to get by I just
brush it off
Allowing that detail
to be our last goodbye
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