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Mae Feb 28
Fight for me.
Trust me.
Love me.

And I'll give you the world.
Another heartbreak.
Mae Feb 26
Too much time has been spent focusing on the past
Without it this reality would not exist
But settling in the comfort of familiarity is not growth

This new reality is the next step
It's uncomfortable
But there's no more time
for experiments
test runs
or observation

Time to glance ahead
With feet planted in the present
Not because the future is bright
Like everyone chatters about
But because it's coming
And it's coming now

Hard lessons have yet to be learned
Deaths and heartbreak will be mourned
Catastrophies will turn back the clock
Undoing everyone's hard work

Only so much growth can sprout from the nutrients of one event
And survival results in a layer of strength just to be worn off by the next wave
I'm panicking a lot about the future. Usually I don't need to look ahead, but some things in my life are telling me I have to.
Mae Feb 11
How oddly romanticized
the word "muse" has become
For my muses have been nothing but infuriating
and dumb
Mae Feb 11
Just one thing remains stuck in my brain
the small detail at the very end of the night
(of course it would happen then)
All things seemingly in the clear, ready to let the story end
But when we walk from the bar
to their house
and to our car
eventually we had to part ways
A quick, "goodnight" exchange
and then nothing
And as I turn for a clue or something
Your back is turned to me
and your walk is quickening

I remember it's not my responsibility to care about you anymore
as awful as that makes me feel
As my eyes followed you away
I noticed how your partner walked alongside you,
just as swiftly
Hand in hand
you as you brushed me off
Supporting your hasty scurry,
walking away together cowardly
How could you leave
without even looking at me?

So many memories arise as an answer...
All right there, ready to be touch...and be remembered
How I've long forgotten many...
Tempting to be retrieved, felt, and thought about
I have no doubt
That they're deadly

And besides, I learned from the best
to get by I just
brush it off
Allowing that detail
to be our last goodbye
Mae Feb 11
Meeting with you and seeing you once again...
After all of this time, is it sad of me to say?
That not much has changed
Now that my eyes are open
And my defenses are up
I feel as if I see the picture as a whole
Just as before, you put your heart before mine
Even though I only could tell for half a second

It was all I needed to counter the bit if desire I still have
To reach into the past
Recollecting what was shattered
It's nothing but a dream

This terms of this relationship has never been up to me
Not with us
Not with you
I have no choice
Except to linger or disappear

Lingering means you, even if it's just a piece
Disappearing means freedom
I don't really have a choice do I...
Freedom is bittersweet
And never really feels like freedom at all

Although a lot of if's cross my mind
I know none of it could fool anyone
Everything between us has died
And I am content
I've had my closure
The best that it's going to get
Mae Feb 8
"You have retrieved my long lost heart"
I whisper to her through the dark,
"...keep it. And please take care of it."
Mae Jan 17
"Falling in love"
is the perfect description
The fear-filled sensation of anti-gravity
The wonder of the unknown
The adrenaline pulsing
Keeping me going
for you in every way
She's the one. The next one. The last one?
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