You swore you wouldn’t hurt me,
And I swear the ache in my bones is all your fault.

Or maybe it’s mine?
For giving in too easily,
For giving you too much of my heart.

And you know I’m terrified of drowning,
But this silence is consuming me.
Swelling my lungs.

This keeps happening,
Like the sun sets and the waves crash...
People keep leaving me.

i.
I’m not cold I’ve just been shaking since you got home.

ii.
3/1/21
you told me I wasn’t enough

iii.
26/12/2020
“if you ever thought I didn’t see being with you for the rest of my life, you’d be wrong”

iv.
Everything you do makes me feel like I’m not enough, which means that every single day I ache. And you will never experience that.

v.
3/12/20
“You’re so beautiful, Madeline”

vi.
Remember when this was supposed to be forever?

vii.
The realisation of knowing you’re gone and what we had is forever over, will always sting and ache always.

viii.
We can start over again

I would let my demons consume me
If it meant that you would be better.
I would let you eat my heart
If it took away your loneliness.
And I would set myself on fire every single day
If it meant that I could hold you
o n e. l a s t. t i m e.

I imagine you holding me,
While I sit and stare at the stars, for hours.
And you watch and smile
While my eyes hold the universe,
And your eyes carry the sunrise.
We're alive.
And I'm so glad I
Stayed around for this.

I thought I was dreaming when you said you loved me.
You uttered I was a fantasy...
The whole world unravelled and gave way beneath me,
Revealing a colourful universe.
A world I fell in love with.

But now you’re gone...

And you don’t love me anymore.

And I am lost...

Sunk back into the darkness.

Like a wardrobe filled with too much ****,
The door that leads to you
Won’t shut, jammed by memories,
And of the constant need of you.
So I’ll leave it like that,
And let parts of you seep out
And swirl around me forever.