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Madison May 2018
Tonight during my shower
I listened to Sia's song "Elastic Heart"
And I broke down crying
(But honestly, when am I not doing that)
I tilted my head back
And let the water wash away my tears

I sang along to her lyrics,
"You won't see me fall apart"
And it's true,
You won't see me fall apart
But you bet the walls of my shower will.
Madison Jan 2018
I am a woman of peace
I try to avoid arguments the best I can
Yelling makes my head spin
I swear it shortens my lifespan

I look for beauty in everything
I always see the good in people
Even though sometimes I end up hurt
By the ones filled with evil

I smile through the hard times
No matter how much I am suffering
Because it's just better to be happy
After all, is more comforting

I am a woman of peace
I will rise above all madness
I will continue to stay grounded
This is something everyone should practice.
Madison Jul 2018
i owe you a sincere apology, my dear heart,
for everything i've (repeatedly) put you through
for falling for the same boy over and over
even though his love to me was never true
i should have held on to you myself
i can't believe i trusted another's hands
it's all my fault you continue to break
i promise that was never my plan
my brain knows better, telling me
to drain his name from my blood
to completely rid of every trace of him
but i just can't seem to let go

i am so sorry i let him break you to pieces
and for continuing to love him through all of it.
Madison Apr 2018
I can't lie to myself anymore
I miss you like hell.
Madison Jul 28
the most beautiful creatures of the wild
are poisonous

you are so ******* beautiful
all I wanna do is love you
Madison Nov 2018
You are broken
And I want to fix you
I want to pick up your remains
Your thousands of shards
And piece you back together
But you are slicing me open

And it hurts.
Madison Jan 17
He was an artist
I wanted so badly to be his canvas
For him to fill my mind
With vibrant yellow's, orange's, green's...

But he filled me with the blues instead.
Madison Feb 21
I want your lips to long for mine
the way your lungs ache for air
after holding your breath all day long

kiss me as though my lips are your oxygen
your source of life

gasp for me
like you could never fill your lungs completely

breathe me
Madison Jan 17
"Don't date an artist unless you can trap them like a bird"
He warned me,
I didn't understand what he meant until now.

The way an artist is so care-free,
So go-with-the-flow,
Unafraid of change
Unafraid of letting things go

I was foolish to think the bird was in the cage,
I thought I had him but he flew away.
Madison Jul 2
you're like that one song on the radio
that i catch myself involuntarily humming along to
tapping the soles of my feet to

your melody plays on a constant repeat
in my mind
and suddenly i'm smiling
what i am doing

i caught myself thinking of you
once again
Madison Dec 2018
Alas, another failed love
As if God doesn’t think I’ve felt enough
Pain in my chest
Or lost enough rest
Over a broken heart
I just keep getting ripped apart
And it’s hard, I’m over it.

Why do I let people do this to me?
I’m delicate, can’t you see?
Let me be, for ***** sake
Don’t know how much more I can take
Before I break completely
Good luck piecing me
Back together
after I shatter.

I’m done letting people in
Because in the end, I never win.
Madison May 30
lately i've been feeling like a
thirsty beggar
fighting with a broken faucet

stuck in this sick loop of
thrashing at pretty metal handles
desperately shaking the spout
screaming for something
to come out

i'm thirsty to write
but nothing
not even a drop
is pouring from my brain

my thoughts are all clogged up
no way to express myself

does anyone know a plumber?
trying to get back into writing. i've been stuck lately.
Madison Sep 2018
Never did I imagine
That I’d fall in love in a city
As beautiful as New York
With someone as beautiful as you.
Madison Oct 2018
I’m about to get very real
I feel like I need to get it off my chest

I’m on this journey of self love
I’ve learned how to love
And most importantly accept
Who I am on the inside
I take pride in it
But ****, it took me a long time to get there
It took heartbreak
It took panic attacks
It took a lot of emotional and mental beatings
But I’ve learned to love who I am
Again, on the inside.

For the past year or so
I’ve been struggling to love who I am
On the outside
When I got my heart broken
My confidence shattered
I became scared to wear certain things
Scared to get close to another man
Because I knew my clothes would come off
I’m in love with a man
But I’m not in love with my body
And the thought of getting in bed with him
Terrifies me
I pray that he is patient enough
To help piece myself back together
To build something back up
That was once so strong

I can’t really explain
Why I feel this way about myself
Or about being intimate with someone
Maybe it’s because I’m scared to get that close
To someone again
Just to have your heart broken
Maybe it’s because I truly don’t love myself externally
Maybe it’s just my anxiety talking
But this is me
These are my biggest fears
My biggest obstacles in life at the moment
I know I can overcome them
That day starts today.
Madison Oct 2018
I put on a lace body suit today
that I haven't worn for anyone but you
I've proven to myself that I have officially moved on
No longer hung up on the past, no longer hung up on you.
Madison Jun 16
i want to get lost in your eyes
and never return.
Madison Nov 2018
Your love is like ******
I inject you straight into my veins
It gives me a high that
I don’t think I can live without anymore
Your love is like ******

And it is going to destroy me.
This is why my mom told me not to do drugs...
Madison 5d
The best high I’ve ever felt
Is the one I feel when you tell me
You love me
I love you so much
Madison May 2018
If I could go back to the day we first kissed
I would have pushed you away
I wish I had known
That you weren't here to stay.
It would have saved me so much pain.
Madison Mar 2018
you showed me there's a heaven
and you showed me there's a hell
for one moment you were god
until you turned into the devil
i always seem to forget
that he was once an angel too
i used to think otherwise,
now i know i was a fool.
inspired by axl
Madison Jul 2018
with my shovel
i am digging
but i am not sure what for
i am not sure if i am digging my own grave
or digging for a beautiful garden to bloom
Madison Oct 2018
Someone catch me, I’m falling
I can hear him calling
My name ever so sweet
Swept me right off my feet

As long as I don’t look down
Not one peek at the ground
I’ll spread my arms out mid air
And fall without a care
As long as I don’t see the end, I’ll continue to fall for you.
Madison Jul 3
every night I lay awake
staring at my ceiling
trying to build a lasso
out of my words
hoping that they will somehow
bring you back to me.
Madison Apr 2018
And the worst part is
I would still do anything for you.
I miss you.
Madison Jun 16
you can make me melt
into the palms of your hands
and that scares me, for
i don't want to slip through your fingers again.
Madison Jul 2018
i feel like a child
desperately trying to brush knots out of my hair
messily tangled with memories of you
wincing at each stroke
my eyes keep swelling with tears
i just want you gone.
Madison Jul 14
Like the lotus flower
We grow best from
The **** that surrounds us
Madison Apr 2018
I was so used to loving you
That it's difficult to stop
It's just the habits of my heart
And it's one I need to drop

You're like a cigarette,
You feel so good to twirl
Between my fingers
And once I place you
Between my lips
My addiction to you runs deeper

You give me a rush,
One that is constantly on my mind
Tugging at the sleeves of my shirt
A craving that begs to be satisfied

Despite all the warning signs
I continue to puff away
Because a life without you
Is more than I can take.
this piece is kind of all over the place.... I want to put you down but I can't.
Madison Nov 2018
I couldn’t sleep last night knowing I broke your heart
It was just too hard for me, being so far apart
I couldn’t be there for your good days or your bad
To cheer you up when you were feeling sad
It was so easy to ignore the other when a fight broke out
To just put your phone on silent, to shut each other out
And when we needed a hug, when we were craving a kiss
All we could do was promise each other this-
I will see you in time my love, I’ll be in your arms again soon
But waiting was so painful, when I wanted to be next to you
I swear I’ve never met a love like you before
You told me you loved me, but I know I loved you more
I wish “us” could have worked, but I had to let you go
But the next girl will be so **** lucky to have you... more than she will ever know.
It was so hard for me to write this
Madison Jul 2018
to her, he is an endless poem
wrapped gently around her heart
forever in her veins
there is no way for her body to part
with his name on her tongue
or his touch on her skin
even though she knows
loving him is a sin
she would burn for eternity
if she could hold him once again
to hear the words “I love you”
for she will love him until the end
of her time on this beautiful earth
as long as they walk the same ground
he will always be a part of her
for true love she has found.
it’s a sin because you broke my heart.. but I would do anything to hold you again.  you were my true love.
Madison Aug 4
I can’t help it but
The thought of you tends to
Build up in the corners of my eyes
And run down my cheeks
And once it starts
It doesn’t stop
Madison Jul 2018
It was something she could relate to
Every time she was feeling sad
Like the color blue could
Somehow absorb her pain
And understand every time
A tear fell from her cheek

Her favorite color was blue,
And it was his favorite color too..
It was her favorite color
He ever wore
No matter what shade
He always looked so dashing
So cool
She loved him in the color blue

Her favorite color was blue,
Allowing her creativity to shine through
When she looks up at the sky
Making shapes out of clouds
Like she was a child again
Might come back and add more.
Madison Jun 15
If you decide to read this,
Know there’s nothing more
I’ve been longing for
Waiting for
Aching for
Than the feeling of your hand
Gripping my thigh
The rush I get when we are
Eye to eye
The goosebumps I get
From your breath across my neck
And I wish I could hide it
But I can’t deny it

****, I’ve missed you.
Madison Jul 15
The way that my skin melts against your lips
How can I help but to daydream about it?
Madison Apr 2018
Fall in love with a writer,
And break her heart.
You’ll live on forever in her words.
Madison Jan 24
Welcome, my heart-broken peers
I see those eyes, filled with tears
Whether it was weeks, months, years
That you were in love
I understand, it feels like you can't cry enough
You gave your all, and all you got in return was a big *******
You never thought he'd be the one to
Come into your life and try to just pass on through
**** that person who hurt you
Because you don't deserve that, none of us do.

Anyways, I am going to help you through this break-up
To help you to stop ruining that make-up
That keeps running down your cheeks
When he crosses your mind
By the time
I'm done reading this poem
I promise you will no longer think of him.

How to succeed in heartbreak.
First, get comfy on your couch
Or whatever whereabouts
In your house
You like to relax.
Grab that bottle of wine
Pour it into one of those plastic cups
Gotta have some kind of class around here,
We aren't pirates after all
But don't feel guilty drinking the whole bottle
Or two if you need it,
Throw it all back
Now that's the spirit.

After all that wine
You might start to cry
But that's okay,
Let it all out
No matter what those tears are about
Curse that *******'s name
Until you feel yourself going insane
Open your window
Scream it into the shadows
Of the night
It's what he deserves
For having the nerve
To **** with your heart the way he did
Keep it going, it's good riddance
You'll feel better once you did it.

Maybe download tinder for a while,
Use a model's picture for your profile
Swiping at whoever you please
Get those matches high, till your fingers start to freeze up
But never actually starting a conversation
Don't feel bad, they don't deserve an explanation
They're just a picture on a screen
But it'll make you feel better, you'll see.

This is the worst part, where you begin
To feel the heartbreak settle in
You look down at your feet
And you swear you can see
That your heart has literally shattered into pieces
I want you to pick them up one by one
No matter how much blood
Starts to drip from your hands
Trust me, I understand
That it's painful
But life is full of that.
Together, we will build a castle
Out of every single piece
Of your once fragile heart
Because you are queen,
And you better ******* believe it
And only a castle is fit
For you
And nobody else but you.

You are allowed to loathe in sadness, drowning yourself in wine
And scream his name deep into the shadows of the night
As long as you remember to pick up your remains
And rid yourself completely of his god forsaken name
Because you are ******* queen, **** heart break
Love is not allowed to destroy you, love is not allowed to take
Any piece of you, ever again
And that, my friend,
Is how you succeed heartbreak.
sorry for the very long poems. working on my slam poetry!
Madison Apr 2018
I still picture our first born together
Remember when we used to talk names?
We said maybe we'd have a summer home down south
And a winter home up near Maine

We talked of growing old together
Remember what you used to tell me?
"When we're fifty-six it'll be the two of us"
It's forever burned in my memory

We fell, and we fell so fast
That we crashed and burned to the ground
And here we are, staring at our ashes
With no more love to be found

And I still don't know how
We went from picturing summer homes
And talk of baby names
To ending up alone.
I still don't understand.
Madison Mar 2018
Watching you move on is so painful for me
And it’s hard, because I know it shouldn’t be
You took down all of our pictures together
And threw away the piles of love letters
You deleted our playlist of songs that we loved
We used to be so in love, now look what we’ve become
Things have changed, and I can’t stand it
And my heart can’t take the damage.
And you’re the one going around saying I broke your heart, how I’ve changed, how it’s my fault, how you’re sad. I don’t know how you can do that. I hope you read this.
Madison Apr 2018
Mr. Conductor, I am begging, make it stop
It has gone off the rails - my train of thought
I tried so hard to steer it on track
But I have lost all control, there is no going back
I was doing so well, I was on the right course
But things took a turn for the absolute worst
My mind is once again clouded with his name
I pray that this time I don't go insane
Mr. Conductor, I am begging, make it stop
I miss him so much,
He is now my every thought.
I can't stop thinking about you... I miss you.
Madison Apr 2018
Your skin is on fire, for I lit the flames
The passion inside me can no longer be tamed
I am burning for you, and the blaze is growing fast
So please me baby, before I turn to ash.
Madison Jan 14
My heart is like one of those 4-year old kids you see with the leashed backpack on because they are so out of control. I always have to tug her closer to me, she does stupid **** that a kid would do, like try and touch hot stove tops. I have to warn her constantly, "get too close and you will get burned". She runs around, so free spirited, but doesn't watch her step. I again have to warn her constantly, "you will (trip and) fall if you are careless like that". She is very drawn to pretty things, wanting to touch anything that is appealing to the eye. I have to warn her, "just because something is beautiful on the inside doesn't mean it's just as pretty on the inside. Dig a little deeper, ***".

My heart has its moments, my heart can be careless, my heart can sometimes even be shallow. My brain has to tug on the leash constantly, reminding my heart to be more careful, more mindful, if you will. If I let my heart free, she would get hurt an unreasonable amount of times. Some people need leashes on their hearts, I guess.
so random. I don't know what to make of this poem.
Madison Apr 2018
Today during my drive home from school
I sped down the freeway
85 mph to be precise
And I rolled down my windows
And at the top of my lungs,
I screamed the lyrics to Mr. Brightside
(Along with the actual song, of course)
I just can't look, it's killing me
And taking control
I let the sound of my voice
Seep out into the world
Through the windows of my car,
Blending in with all the other sounds
Of the surrounding:
Cars honking, birds singing, wind blowing
I am just another small voice in the universe
Drowned out by all the other voices and sounds
But I screamed so loud
And the only person that could hear me
Was me
And that's exactly the way
I wanted it to be.
just rambling.
Madison Aug 6
We are a ticking bomb waiting to explode
But I guess I like danger
Madison Jan 17
Never did I think you'd be the one to break me.
**** love.
Madison Jun 16
i would say that i know you like
the back of my hand
but who the hell actually knows
what the back of their hand looks like

i don't know you like something
ridiculous like that
but i know you by
the creases in your lips
and the way they melt perfectly
between mine
Madison Apr 2018
I remember glancing over in your direction as you were crouched beside me, and your face was glowing in the moonlight. It exposed every delicate curve in your cheeks, and your brown eyes shone brilliantly against your golden skin. The wood of the lifeguard pavilion was cold against our legs, but we felt warm inside from all the Bacardi we were drinking. The lyrics of the song playing traveled through the night, you're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey. I took your hands into mine and lifted you onto your sandy toes, and we slowly danced all of our worries away. I pressed my head into your shoulder listening to the roaring waves in the distance, and my mind was calm. Nothing else mattered to me other than the fact that we were touching. You're as sweet as strawberry wine, and I wanted to drink you all night long. We rocked back and forth into each other's arms, and I felt as warm as a glass of brandy.

How I long to dance the nights away with you once again.
Sorry, I know this isn't exactly poetry.
Madison May 2018
I want a man who wants to strip me of my walls,
Not my clothes.
Madison Mar 2018
I thought this bottle was supposed to
Drown the memories
But every sip makes me think of
You and me
Your lips were intoxicating
A taste so fascinating
I drank every last drop
Now I’m alone with my thoughts.
Madison Feb 2018
You were supposed to have my back
But you just stabbed it instead
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