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293 · Mar 2018
I'll admit it.
Madison Mar 2018
I’m trying to accept a life without you in it
But it’s taken some getting used to, I'll admit it
I still have days where you cross my mind
But it hurts less and less every time
I'll hear a song that reminds me of you
And the tears still flow, but only a few

You were once my whole world, demoted to a memory
But in my heart you will forever be.
272 · Aug 2018
One last time
Madison Aug 2018
Whiskey lips against mine
Have never tasted so good
I’d kiss them every day
If only I could

But your love is temporary
It fades within time
Just like your memories
Of you and I

So call me your baby
Before you sober up
Because I know you won’t want me
By the time you wake up
i wish he wanted me when he’s sober... I’ll soak in every second the way he drinks every drop.
268 · Jul 2018
I wish it was that easy.
Madison Jul 2018
I burned all our pictures
Erased all our texts,
I wish I could do the same
With our memories in my head
261 · Jul 11
wrong vs right
Madison Jul 11
would it be wrong if I said
everything feels so right
when I’m with you
would it be bad if I said you make me feel so **** good
255 · Jan 2018
A woman of peace.
Madison Jan 2018
I am a woman of peace
I try to avoid arguments the best I can
Yelling makes my head spin
I swear it shortens my lifespan

I look for beauty in everything
I always see the good in people
Even though sometimes I end up hurt
By the ones filled with evil

I smile through the hard times
No matter how much I am suffering
Because it's just better to be happy
After all, is more comforting

I am a woman of peace
I will rise above all madness
I will continue to stay grounded
This is something everyone should practice.
250 · Jan 17
Bye-Bye Birdie.
Madison Jan 17
"Don't date an artist unless you can trap them like a bird"
He warned me,
I didn't understand what he meant until now.

The way an artist is so care-free,
So go-with-the-flow,
Unafraid of change
Unafraid of letting things go

I was foolish to think the bird was in the cage,
I thought I had him but he flew away.
250 · Apr 2018
I am begging, make it stop
Madison Apr 2018
Mr. Conductor, I am begging, make it stop
It has gone off the rails - my train of thought
I tried so hard to steer it on track
But I have lost all control, there is no going back
I was doing so well, I was on the right course
But things took a turn for the absolute worst
My mind is once again clouded with his name
I pray that this time I don't go insane
Mr. Conductor, I am begging, make it stop
I miss him so much,
He is now my every thought.
I can't stop thinking about you... I miss you.
249 · Jan 2018
Somebody
Madison Jan 2018
I want your body
But I need to picture you with somebody else
Everybody is telling me to move on
Like you did with somebody else
I don’t think I’m ready to let go
I want to be that somebody else
God, I want your body
But it’s no longer mine, but somebody else
I am trying so hard to move on, trying to picture you with somebody else.
247 · Jul 2018
falling in love....
Madison Jul 2018
with my shovel
i am digging
but i am not sure what for
i am not sure if i am digging my own grave
or digging for a beautiful garden to bloom
247 · Feb 18
scared.
Madison Feb 18
and she longs for the day that falling in love again doesn't seem so scary anymore.
Madison Mar 2018
I thought this bottle was supposed to
Drown the memories
But every sip makes me think of
You and me
Your lips were intoxicating
A taste so fascinating
I drank every last drop
Now I’m alone with my thoughts.
Madison Jul 2018
It was something she could relate to
Every time she was feeling sad
Like the color blue could
Somehow absorb her pain
And understand every time
A tear fell from her cheek

Her favorite color was blue,
And it was his favorite color too..
It was her favorite color
He ever wore
No matter what shade
He always looked so dashing
So cool
She loved him in the color blue

Her favorite color was blue,
Allowing her creativity to shine through
When she looks up at the sky
Making shapes out of clouds
Like she was a child again
Might come back and add more.
Madison Apr 2018
Fall in love with a writer,
And break her heart.
You’ll live on forever in her words.
Madison Oct 2018
I always fall hard
I always fall fast,
And it always ends up
Biting me in the ***.
****
222 · May 2018
I love you, Malibu
Madison May 2018
I want to drown my body in Malibu
Take my brain on vacation
For a couple hours
Leaving me feelin’ like
I can really taste the coconuts off the palm trees
And that the redness in my cheeks
Is indeed from a sunburn
I want to feel like I'm floating on waves
Take me as far away
From the shore as possible
I want to forget about all my troubles
While dancing to the L.A. music
Playing in my head
So take me away (to) Malibu,
My brain needs a ******* vacation from you.
enough said.
Madison May 2018
Our love was like
Picking petals off a flower
One day he loved me
The next he loved me not
But I was so wrapped up
In the beauty of the flower
I wasn't thinking of all the
Pain it had caused me
Until the last petal
Finally fell,
"He loves me not".
Madison Jan 14
My heart is like one of those 4-year old kids you see with the leashed backpack on because they are so out of control. I always have to tug her closer to me, she does stupid **** that a kid would do, like try and touch hot stove tops. I have to warn her constantly, "get too close and you will get burned". She runs around, so free spirited, but doesn't watch her step. I again have to warn her constantly, "you will (trip and) fall if you are careless like that". She is very drawn to pretty things, wanting to touch anything that is appealing to the eye. I have to warn her, "just because something is beautiful on the inside doesn't mean it's just as pretty on the inside. Dig a little deeper, ***".


My heart has its moments, my heart can be careless, my heart can sometimes even be shallow. My brain has to tug on the leash constantly, reminding my heart to be more careful, more mindful, if you will. If I let my heart free, she would get hurt an unreasonable amount of times. Some people need leashes on their hearts, I guess.
so random. I don't know what to make of this poem.
220 · Apr 3
Name
Madison Apr 3
Out of all the names I know
Why is it still yours that keeps
Dancing around my mind?
220 · Jul 2018
I wanted to be your angel
Madison Jul 2018
I tried to show you heaven
and you chose earth
and I'd be lying through my teeth
if I said it didn't hurt
217 · Oct 2018
Just some thoughts.
Madison Oct 2018
its been two weeks and you got my heart throbbing
weak in the knees there's just no stopping
this buildup of all these feelings
you caught my attention, just keep reeling
me straight into your arms
trust me baby, i'm not going far
or anywhere for that matter
I'm mad in love
you're the only one I'm after.
love you baby. m.
Madison Apr 2018
Today during my drive home from school
I sped down the freeway
85 mph to be precise
And I rolled down my windows
And at the top of my lungs,
I screamed the lyrics to Mr. Brightside
(Along with the actual song, of course)
I just can't look, it's killing me
And taking control
I let the sound of my voice
Seep out into the world
Through the windows of my car,
Blending in with all the other sounds
Of the surrounding:
Cars honking, birds singing, wind blowing
I am just another small voice in the universe
Drowned out by all the other voices and sounds
But I screamed so loud
And the only person that could hear me
Was me
And that's exactly the way
I wanted it to be.
just rambling.
214 · Nov 2018
The Little Things
Madison Nov 2018
I miss looking over and watching you mouth the words to every song.
Madison Oct 2018
You take me to another realm
When we converse with our bodies
Completely out of this world
Completely out of this galaxy

I see stars when you touch me
They stretch on for years
I swear my mind leaves its body
I don't care if it ever returns here

It's a religious experience
As I scream God's name
My knuckles turn white
As my flesh catches flame

My universe explodes
And I return back to Earth
Where I will continue to think of outer space
And patiently await my next rebirth.
207 · Jul 2018
when i'm high
Madison Jul 2018
**** has become my crutch
comin' in clutch
every time i start to cry
my tears, they just dry
right up
after a single puff
happiness courses through my veins
it puts a pause on my pain
giving me uncontrollable laughter
nothing else matters
when i'm high

because for a brief moment, i am able to enjoy life.
my escape
Madison May 2018
How come after everything you’ve put me through
I can still admit that I’m in love with you?
Madison Feb 18
I want someone who will defy gravity
"Everything that falls must break at some point"
*******
I want someone who will stick their hands out
And catch my fragile heart
Blood, guts, and all
Someone who will not allow me to break ever again.
201 · May 2018
Kiss me
Madison May 2018
The feeling of you on my lips again
Sent me straight to heaven.
200 · Nov 2018
Outsider.
Madison Nov 2018
He slammed a door in my face tonight
Shutting me out
He left me in the dark with
So many questions
And a new brokenness inside me
I’m reaching for the door handle

But I think I might walk away.
**** it
200 · Jul 1
night time secrets
Madison Jul 1
every time we lay side by side
and you pull me into your embrace
and my skin is overwhelmed
by the warmth of yours

every time i lean back
out of your arms
and our eyes lock
my heart tries to rip its way
out of my chest
through my throat
between my lips

i have to bite the
tip of my tongue
because the songs that my heart sings
won't stop bleeding
all over my taste buds

i lick my lips because
there lies the three words
that i know i can't say to you,
yet you always tell me how
kissing me tastes like
a warm spoonful of honey

if only i could tell you
those words,
those three words
because tasting them isn't enough for me

i love you.
Madison Nov 2018
we ran a mile forward
burst into a full-on sprint
but I'm realizing our paces aren't the same
and I'm starting to regret it.
it's a weird concept i guess.. what i'm trying to say is we ran so quickly into this relationship and I'm realizing that you've slown down drastically which I don't like. I'm regretting not taking things slow. This is why runners pace themselves I guess.
199 · May 2018
I don’t want to get naked
Madison May 2018
I want a man who wants to strip me of my walls,
Not my clothes.
197 · Jun 24
Man of my dreams
Madison Jun 24
You are the man of my dreams,
I don't ever want to wake up.
Madison Oct 2018
I wish I could put into the most poetic words
How beautiful he is
The way he makes me feel
The way his smile curves
The amount of love I have for him

I wish the words would flow from my tongue
So gracefully
Sweet as could be
Like a spoonful of warm honey
Oh, baby

But you leave me speechless.
192 · May 2018
Yeah... no.
Madison May 2018
How can we still be friends
If every time I see you
My heart gets broken all over again?
**** that
Madison Jul 3
You ask for the best friend
And I keep giving you the lover
But it’s time that I take her back
For someone who actually wants her
Madison Feb 7
The girl becomes gasoline
When you treat her like she's worth nothing,
When you play with her heart
Lighting it on fire
And walking away
After making her believe that you're the one that is going to stay
After she spreads her legs for you only to be ****** over
Well trust me, she's ******* over it.

The girl becomes gasoline
When you make it seem like
You are the one who will love her this time
Only to wave goodbye
After getting in her pants
She wishes she could wrap her hands
Around your neck and choke the living **** out of you
For making her feel like she's been used.

The girl becomes gasoline
When even after being hurt so much
She decides to give you her love
She doesn't have much trust left
And you decide to rob her of it, rather than accepting it instead

You people who are users, fakers, thieves
You deserve to suffer endlessly
Because of you, the girl becomes gasoline
And I wish it wasn't true, but that girl is me.
188 · May 2018
I have a confession
Madison May 2018
My obsession
Is the cause of my depression
i hate what you do to me
187 · Jul 2
catchy
Madison Jul 2
you're like that one song on the radio
that i catch myself involuntarily humming along to
tapping the soles of my feet to

your melody plays on a constant repeat
in my mind
and suddenly i'm smiling
realizing
what i am doing

i caught myself thinking of you
once again
185 · Jan 2018
Scars
Madison Jan 2018
When I was younger my momma told me
No boy is gunna love you with those scars
She told me it's all about beauty
They don't care about who you are

A boy wants a pretty face and long, tan legs
He don't want skin covered in white
So you best stop picking at them scabs
Or there will never be a lover in your sight

I grew out of my bad habit
But her words still lingered in my mind
What if momma was right,
Will my scars become how I am defined?

I started to wear long pants
Because I was afraid of what they'd say
I didn't want to be made fun of,
I'd rather sweat to death every day

Until one day a boy came along
He said 'baby, I want you to be mine'
But that was while I had my pants on
It was only a matter of time

Until one night that same boy and I
Well, we started to take our shirts off
I knew what was to come next,
My heart immediately dropped

I thought as soon as these pants hit the ground
This will all come to an end
I remembered what my momma told me
I would no longer have a boyfriend

So there I lay, scars and all
Not a word escaped through his lips
He just stared for a second or two
Until he pulled me close by the hips

He said 'baby, I love your golden skin
I can't believe those legs are all for me
I could kiss them all day long
I'm the luckiest man there could be'

That was the night I realized
My momma had got it all wrong
You can still be loved, even with scars
And he loved me all night long.
I have lots of scars on my legs, and my mom used to say this to me when I was little to scare me into stopping..
Madison Oct 2018
I’m about to get very real
I feel like I need to get it off my chest

I’m on this journey of self love
I’ve learned how to love
And most importantly accept
Who I am on the inside
I take pride in it
But ****, it took me a long time to get there
It took heartbreak
It took panic attacks
It took a lot of emotional and mental beatings
But I’ve learned to love who I am
Again, on the inside.

For the past year or so
I’ve been struggling to love who I am
On the outside
When I got my heart broken
My confidence shattered
I became scared to wear certain things
Scared to get close to another man
Because I knew my clothes would come off
Eventually
I’m in love with a man
But I’m not in love with my body
And the thought of getting in bed with him
Terrifies me
I pray that he is patient enough
To help piece myself back together
To build something back up
That was once so strong

I can’t really explain
Why I feel this way about myself
Or about being intimate with someone
Maybe it’s because I’m scared to get that close
To someone again
Just to have your heart broken
Maybe it’s because I truly don’t love myself externally
Maybe it’s just my anxiety talking
But this is me
These are my biggest fears
My biggest obstacles in life at the moment
I know I can overcome them
That day starts today.
180 · Apr 2018
I am burning for you.
Madison Apr 2018
Your skin is on fire, for I lit the flames
The passion inside me can no longer be tamed
I am burning for you, and the blaze is growing fast
So please me baby, before I turn to ash.
178 · Jul 11
let me get lost
Madison Jul 11
your eyes are the only starry night
I could gaze into
all night long
178 · Jun 16
some things
Madison Jun 16
even though i want to scream your name
on the top of my lungs
to declare my love
how i can't get enough
of you

some things are better left unsaid.
can't get ahead of myself.
177 · Nov 2018
Untitled
Madison Nov 2018
I wish I still had you.
I’m not even sure if you read these anymore... but tonight I wish I stil had you.
175 · Jul 2018
Untitled
Madison Jul 2018
how come every time i begin to float
i always end up sinking again
every time my fingertips
break the water's surface
memories of you wrap around my ankles
like weeds
and ****** me back down
into my abyss called depression
i fall and i fall
and it only gets worse when i fight it
so i simply let myself fall
i let myself sink for a while
until the cycle continues again
173 · Jul 15
It’s truly meant to be
Madison Jul 15
They say if you love something
You should let it go
And see if it comes back

I fall on my knees
And thank God every night
For bringing you back to me
172 · Jul 14
Growth
Madison Jul 14
Like the lotus flower
We grow best from
The **** that surrounds us
Madison May 2018
If I could go back to the day we first kissed
I would have pushed you away
I wish I had known
That you weren't here to stay.
It would have saved me so much pain.
171 · May 2018
You mean nothing to me
Madison May 2018
I got really high the other night
I just didn't want to feel anything anymore
But instead of feeling nothing at all
My shoulders sank from the weight of the world

My head started to spin
Because your name kept coming to mind
But I continued to puff away
I thought it would be better this time

I shattered into a million pieces that night
As my tears continued to fall,
It was another battle with my demons
I knew I should have picked alcohol

Even though my lungs were full
I felt so ******* empty
I hate how I allow myself
To let you do this to me.
you can't hurt me anymore.
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