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Sep 2018 · 1.1k
Over you.
Madison Sep 2018
I may never see you again
And I am finally, perfectly okay with that.
Aug 2018 · 272
One last time
Madison Aug 2018
Whiskey lips against mine
Have never tasted so good
I’d kiss them every day
If only I could

But your love is temporary
It fades within time
Just like your memories
Of you and I

So call me your baby
Before you sober up
Because I know you won’t want me
By the time you wake up
i wish he wanted me when he’s sober... I’ll soak in every second the way he drinks every drop.
Jul 2018 · 268
I wish it was that easy.
Madison Jul 2018
I burned all our pictures
Erased all our texts,
I wish I could do the same
With our memories in my head
Jul 2018 · 396
he lives within her still.
Madison Jul 2018
to her, he is an endless poem
wrapped gently around her heart
forever in her veins
there is no way for her body to part
with his name on her tongue
or his touch on her skin
even though she knows
loving him is a sin
she would burn for eternity
if she could hold him once again
to hear the words “I love you”
for she will love him until the end
of her time on this beautiful earth
as long as they walk the same ground
he will always be a part of her
for true love she has found.
it’s a sin because you broke my heart.. but I would do anything to hold you again.  you were my true love.
Madison Jul 2018
It was something she could relate to
Every time she was feeling sad
Like the color blue could
Somehow absorb her pain
And understand every time
A tear fell from her cheek

Her favorite color was blue,
And it was his favorite color too..
It was her favorite color
He ever wore
No matter what shade
He always looked so dashing
So cool
She loved him in the color blue

Her favorite color was blue,
Allowing her creativity to shine through
When she looks up at the sky
Making shapes out of clouds
Like she was a child again
Might come back and add more.
Jul 2018 · 220
I wanted to be your angel
Madison Jul 2018
I tried to show you heaven
and you chose earth
and I'd be lying through my teeth
if I said it didn't hurt
Madison Jul 2018
trying to conquer you is like trying to climb this ridiculously tall mountain. i use all of my energy towards reaching the top, towards winning your heart again,

and every time the peak comes into my view,
every time i start to see you,
you take your hands
(god, i love your hands)
and you push me off the edge,
straight back to the bottom again.
i will never understand why you won't let me reach the top,
i keep on giving you everything i've got,
i wish you were able to see
that i truly believe you are the one for me.

and every morning i will rise again
to try and reach the top of this mountain.
last night I felt like i was so close to winning your heart again, and then the conversation crumbled at the palms of my hands.
Jul 2018 · 207
when i'm high
Madison Jul 2018
**** has become my crutch
comin' in clutch
every time i start to cry
my tears, they just dry
right up
after a single puff
happiness courses through my veins
it puts a pause on my pain
giving me uncontrollable laughter
nothing else matters
when i'm high

because for a brief moment, i am able to enjoy life.
my escape
Jul 2018 · 560
an overdue apology
Madison Jul 2018
i owe you a sincere apology, my dear heart,
for everything i've (repeatedly) put you through
for falling for the same boy over and over
even though his love to me was never true
i should have held on to you myself
i can't believe i trusted another's hands
it's all my fault you continue to break
i promise that was never my plan
my brain knows better, telling me
to drain his name from my blood
to completely rid of every trace of him
but i just can't seem to let go

i am so sorry i let him break you to pieces
and for continuing to love him through all of it.
Madison Jul 2018
It doesn't matter how many times you let my heart shatter,
It will always heal for you.
Madison Jul 2018
It's funny,
I get drunk in order to forget you
But I only end up remembering everything I loved about you.
all I do is think about you when I'm drunk,
Madison Jul 2018
Do you remember the time we danced
Late in night, hand in hand
Our feet cold against the wood
I would forget it all if I could

Do you remember all our rides
Driving with no point late in the night
Windows down, wind in hair
I still do, and baby it isn't fair

So I drown our memories
With a bottle of whiskey
But when I have one too many
They all come back at once to hit me
As long as I have just enough
I can forget about you for once
So bottoms up baby
Cuz you've already forgotten about me
So bottoms up, bottoms up baby

All the mornings I woke up next to you
Comfy in bed not wanting to move
All the nights under the stars
Staring at the ocean from afar

All the I love you's that left your lips
As you pulled me closer by the hips
I remember every little thing
And the tears, they always sting

So I drown our memories
With a bottle of whiskey
But when I have one too many
They all come back at once to hit me
As long as I have just enough
I can forget about you for once
So bottoms up baby
Cuz you've already forgotten about me
So bottoms up, bottoms up baby
j.w.
Jul 2018 · 390
Our bipolar love
Madison Jul 2018
Punching dashboards
Walking away
I run after you
Hoping you’ll stay

Flying screams
Throwing hands
Painful tears
Not what I had planned

Locking eyes
Unbreakable gaze
I want to kiss you
Your whole face

Hand on thigh
Fingers in hair
God, I still love you
This is more than I can bear

Sick, twisted love
How I hate you so
I want him, he’s the one
I know it, I just know.
Wrote this back in January after a roller coaster of a day. Talk about bipolar love.
Jul 2018 · 247
falling in love....
Madison Jul 2018
with my shovel
i am digging
but i am not sure what for
i am not sure if i am digging my own grave
or digging for a beautiful garden to bloom
Jul 2018 · 3.5k
get out
Madison Jul 2018
i feel like a child
desperately trying to brush knots out of my hair
messily tangled with memories of you
wincing at each stroke
my eyes keep swelling with tears
i just want you gone.
j.w.
Jul 2018 · 168
push me
Madison Jul 2018
i am standing at the edge of this cliff

i can either jump off into this big unknown
and allow myself to fall in love
or i can continue to stare into the unknown
and refuse to take the risk

my past keeps causing my knees to lock
my hands to sweat
my heart to pound

i want to let go
to free fall

i think i just need a little push.
m.g. i need a push.
Jul 2018 · 106
keeping a distance
Madison Jul 2018
to my future lover,
i apologize sincerely in advance
for keeping such a distance
between us two
it's not me, or you,
he broke my heart beyond repair
and now i'm so scared,
scared to be broken again
even though you are a different man
i must remain distant
but i am telling you, i insist
i will let down my walls one day
and i pray
you will be the one to break them down
and that afterwards you will stick around
to see what our future could be
instead of packing your bags to leave
for i have so much love in my heart
i am only scared to once again fall apart

so for now i must keep my distance
and i apologize sincerely in advance.
m.g. i promise one day i will let down my walls.
Jul 2018 · 175
Untitled
Madison Jul 2018
how come every time i begin to float
i always end up sinking again
every time my fingertips
break the water's surface
memories of you wrap around my ankles
like weeds
and ****** me back down
into my abyss called depression
i fall and i fall
and it only gets worse when i fight it
so i simply let myself fall
i let myself sink for a while
until the cycle continues again
Jun 2018 · 128
I hate you
Madison Jun 2018
It’s so hard having your heart brutally murdered
By the one you love the most
I would say he ripped my heart out
But he didn’t
I can still feel its pathetic pulse
Throbbing in my chest
If I didn’t have a heart
If the space between my ribs was empty
I would be feeling empty too,
I wouldn’t be drowning in pain.
I’m laying in bed wishing you ripped my heart out
Because then at least I wouldn’t feel a thing.
Madison May 2018
If I could go back to the day we first kissed
I would have pushed you away
I wish I had known
That you weren't here to stay.
It would have saved me so much pain.
May 2018 · 317
5/17/18
Madison May 2018
Tonight during my shower
I listened to Sia's song "Elastic Heart"
And I broke down crying
(But honestly, when am I not doing that)
I tilted my head back
And let the water wash away my tears

I sang along to her lyrics,
"You won't see me fall apart"
And it's true,
You won't see me fall apart
But you bet the walls of my shower will.
Madison May 2018
How come after everything you’ve put me through
I can still admit that I’m in love with you?
May 2018 · 192
Yeah... no.
Madison May 2018
How can we still be friends
If every time I see you
My heart gets broken all over again?
**** that
May 2018 · 198
I don’t want to get naked
Madison May 2018
I want a man who wants to strip me of my walls,
Not my clothes.
May 2018 · 221
I love you, Malibu
Madison May 2018
I want to drown my body in Malibu
Take my brain on vacation
For a couple hours
Leaving me feelin’ like
I can really taste the coconuts off the palm trees
And that the redness in my cheeks
Is indeed from a sunburn
I want to feel like I'm floating on waves
Take me as far away
From the shore as possible
I want to forget about all my troubles
While dancing to the L.A. music
Playing in my head
So take me away (to) Malibu,
My brain needs a ******* vacation from you.
enough said.
May 2018 · 145
Save your breath
Madison May 2018
There’s nothing one could say
To make this pain go away
Nothing.
Madison May 2018
Our love was like
Picking petals off a flower
One day he loved me
The next he loved me not
But I was so wrapped up
In the beauty of the flower
I wasn't thinking of all the
Pain it had caused me
Until the last petal
Finally fell,
"He loves me not".
May 2018 · 188
I have a confession
Madison May 2018
My obsession
Is the cause of my depression
i hate what you do to me
May 2018 · 171
You mean nothing to me
Madison May 2018
I got really high the other night
I just didn't want to feel anything anymore
But instead of feeling nothing at all
My shoulders sank from the weight of the world

My head started to spin
Because your name kept coming to mind
But I continued to puff away
I thought it would be better this time

I shattered into a million pieces that night
As my tears continued to fall,
It was another battle with my demons
I knew I should have picked alcohol

Even though my lungs were full
I felt so ******* empty
I hate how I allow myself
To let you do this to me.
you can't hurt me anymore.
Madison May 2018
Wrapping himself around my heart
Every time it has shattered,
There to hold my hand tightly
Every time I am feeling lonely
And longing your touch

He brings out the worst in me
Reminding me of all the reasons
Why life just *****

He doesn't allow me to forget about his presence,
Always letting himself consume my body
Rushing through my veins
And pouring out through my eyes

But pain will always be my friend
For as long as I don't have you.
May 2018 · 197
Kiss me
Madison May 2018
The feeling of you on my lips again
Sent me straight to heaven.
May 2018 · 153
watch me burn
Madison May 2018
you set my heart on fire
lit it up into flames
and then you walked away.
it’s not fair.
Madison Apr 2018
Fall in love with a writer,
And break her heart.
You’ll live on forever in her words.
Apr 2018 · 397
I want love, or not at all.
Madison Apr 2018
I want love,
But I want it
True
Honest
Genuine
Pure
Completely

Or not at all.
Don’t give me this half-*** ****. Give me your all.
Apr 2018 · 297
How?
Madison Apr 2018
I still picture our first born together
Remember when we used to talk names?
We said maybe we'd have a summer home down south
And a winter home up near Maine

We talked of growing old together
Remember what you used to tell me?
"When we're fifty-six it'll be the two of us"
It's forever burned in my memory

We fell, and we fell so fast
That we crashed and burned to the ground
And here we are, staring at our ashes
With no more love to be found

And I still don't know how
We went from picturing summer homes
And talk of baby names
To ending up alone.
I still don't understand.
Apr 2018 · 166
I’m done playing games.
Madison Apr 2018
He says he loves me
He’s playing mind games with me
I lose every time.
I’m so sick of it. Make up your mind.
Apr 2018 · 111
I think i am depressed
Madison Apr 2018
The mornings I once loved, I now dread
I have to convince myself to get out of bed
I have troubling thoughts in my head
And rather than happiness, I feel a numbing sadness instead
I wear a smile, but it’s all pretend
I am so empty inside i almost feel dead
But I know I am alive, for my heart has bled
So much that my chest is stained red
These are words that I’d rather leave unsaid
But I had to get them out
Or my insanity would never end.
Madison Apr 2018
Today during my drive home from school
I sped down the freeway
85 mph to be precise
And I rolled down my windows
And at the top of my lungs,
I screamed the lyrics to Mr. Brightside
(Along with the actual song, of course)
I just can't look, it's killing me
And taking control
I let the sound of my voice
Seep out into the world
Through the windows of my car,
Blending in with all the other sounds
Of the surrounding:
Cars honking, birds singing, wind blowing
I am just another small voice in the universe
Drowned out by all the other voices and sounds
But I screamed so loud
And the only person that could hear me
Was me
And that's exactly the way
I wanted it to be.
just rambling.
Apr 2018 · 678
Habits of my Heart
Madison Apr 2018
I was so used to loving you
That it's difficult to stop
It's just the habits of my heart
And it's one I need to drop

You're like a cigarette,
You feel so good to twirl
Between my fingers
And once I place you
Between my lips
My addiction to you runs deeper

You give me a rush,
One that is constantly on my mind
Tugging at the sleeves of my shirt
A craving that begs to be satisfied

Despite all the warning signs
I continue to puff away
Because a life without you
Is more than I can take.
this piece is kind of all over the place.... I want to put you down but I can't.
Apr 2018 · 180
I am burning for you.
Madison Apr 2018
Your skin is on fire, for I lit the flames
The passion inside me can no longer be tamed
I am burning for you, and the blaze is growing fast
So please me baby, before I turn to ash.
Madison Apr 2018
Running back to you is like
Running straight into the flames
I get burned every time
But I think I like the pain.
Well... you get the point.
Apr 2018 · 250
I am begging, make it stop
Madison Apr 2018
Mr. Conductor, I am begging, make it stop
It has gone off the rails - my train of thought
I tried so hard to steer it on track
But I have lost all control, there is no going back
I was doing so well, I was on the right course
But things took a turn for the absolute worst
My mind is once again clouded with his name
I pray that this time I don't go insane
Mr. Conductor, I am begging, make it stop
I miss him so much,
He is now my every thought.
I can't stop thinking about you... I miss you.
Madison Apr 2018
I remember glancing over in your direction as you were crouched beside me, and your face was glowing in the moonlight. It exposed every delicate curve in your cheeks, and your brown eyes shone brilliantly against your golden skin. The wood of the lifeguard pavilion was cold against our legs, but we felt warm inside from all the Bacardi we were drinking. The lyrics of the song playing traveled through the night, you're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey. I took your hands into mine and lifted you onto your sandy toes, and we slowly danced all of our worries away. I pressed my head into your shoulder listening to the roaring waves in the distance, and my mind was calm. Nothing else mattered to me other than the fact that we were touching. You're as sweet as strawberry wine, and I wanted to drink you all night long. We rocked back and forth into each other's arms, and I felt as warm as a glass of brandy.

How I long to dance the nights away with you once again.
Sorry, I know this isn't exactly poetry.
Apr 2018 · 79
Fuck feelings.
Madison Apr 2018
And the worst part is
I would still do anything for you.
I miss you.
Apr 2018 · 168
And into the flames I fell.
Madison Apr 2018
I can't lie to myself anymore
I miss you like hell.
Madison Mar 2018
I thought this bottle was supposed to
Drown the memories
But every sip makes me think of
You and me
Your lips were intoxicating
A taste so fascinating
I drank every last drop
Now I’m alone with my thoughts.
Mar 2018 · 137
Moving on is like...
Madison Mar 2018
Two steps forward and three steps back
One minute you're calm till your heart's under attack
You begin to see the light in the dark
But as soon as you reach for it, your world falls apart
It is a vicious cycle of ups and downs
Floating for seconds till you start to drown
So I go with the flow, what else can I do
All I want is to get over you.
Just when you think happiness is around the bend
Every memory comes back to haunt you again.
Mar 2018 · 291
I'll admit it.
Madison Mar 2018
I’m trying to accept a life without you in it
But it’s taken some getting used to, I'll admit it
I still have days where you cross my mind
But it hurts less and less every time
I'll hear a song that reminds me of you
And the tears still flow, but only a few

You were once my whole world, demoted to a memory
But in my heart you will forever be.
Mar 2018 · 550
I smile too
Madison Mar 2018
He has the softest smile.
His cheeks round into perfect circles
When the corners of his honey lips curl
I want to kiss your sweetness
I want to taste your gold

He never smiles with his teeth
But that's okay,
His smile is still enough to make me melt
Into a colorful mess
A beautiful wreck

Because when he smiles,
I smile too.
I don't know how else to explain it. He just has the softest smile.
Mar 2018 · 148
escaping the flames
Madison Mar 2018
you showed me there's a heaven
and you showed me there's a hell
for one moment you were god
until you turned into the devil
i always seem to forget
that he was once an angel too
i used to think otherwise,
now i know i was a fool.
inspired by axl
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