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Madison Feb 8
that girl you're seeing,
she will ask you to hang out
or if she can come over
maybe to help clean or tidy things up,
a girlfriend would make an entrance into your mind and soul and help clean up any brokenness or mess she sees there.

that girl you're seeing,
she will compliment you on your outfit
saying she likes the t-shirt you're wearing today,
a girlfriend would compliment you on your entire existence.

that girl you're seeing,
she will have frequently occurring casual *** with you
seeking only her pleasure,
a girlfriend would make love to you, opening herself up completely to your being, trusting that your fingers would not break her delicate heart.

that girl you're seeing,
she may make casual conversation with you about your day,
a girlfriend would talk about the universe and it's entirety with you. she would speak of energy, of love, of hate, and everything in-between, everything deeper than a surface conversation.

that girl you're seeing,
she will introduce you to her family as "that friend you've been spending time with here and there while probably ******* other people",
a girlfriend would introduce you to her family as the reason she wears a smile on her face so contagious, the reason behind the softness of her laugh, the reason she is now able to wear her heart on her sleeve.

that girl you're seeing,
she may give you small gifts like a cool bracelet or a pair of socks (whatever guys like nowadays),
a girlfriend would hand to you her whole heart wrapped in the prettiest little bow, she would fill your body with her soul, she would hand you every broken piece of her and trust that you would help her become whole once again.

so, tell me, why the **** do men prefer to "see" a bunch of girls, rather than have a girlfriend?
Feb 8 · 156
pain.
Madison Feb 8
you can only be hurt so many times before you are completely numb.
Madison Feb 7
The girl becomes gasoline
When you treat her like she's worth nothing,
When you play with her heart
Lighting it on fire
And walking away
After making her believe that you're the one that is going to stay
After she spreads her legs for you only to be ****** over
Well trust me, she's ******* over it.

The girl becomes gasoline
When you make it seem like
You are the one who will love her this time
Only to wave goodbye
After getting in her pants
She wishes she could wrap her hands
Around your neck and choke the living **** out of you
For making her feel like she's been used.

The girl becomes gasoline
When even after being hurt so much
She decides to give you her love
She doesn't have much trust left
And you decide to rob her of it, rather than accepting it instead

You people who are users, fakers, thieves
You deserve to suffer endlessly
Because of you, the girl becomes gasoline
And I wish it wasn't true, but that girl is me.
Madison Feb 7
I was on a date about two months ago,
It was a sunset picnic
I thought it was so romantic,
He seemed nervous to hold my hand
Talking about all the bands we liked
He was hoping I might come over
So I said sure,
I didn't get bad vibes from him.
I pull into his driveway
We go inside and
Next thing you know
He's trying to take my clothes off
What the **** happened to love?

I let someone tattoo me
A couple weeks ago
We hit it off instantly,
This immediate powerful energy
I asked if he would take things slow with me
Because I had been hurt recently
He did
(At first)
I fell hard and I fell fast,
I loved what we had,
It seemed like it was going to last
So I let him in, I opened up and alas
He said he "just wanted to be friends"
And just like that, it came to an end
What the **** happened to love?

I had a conversation with a classmate
A couple days ago
He could tell I was down
Asked me why I wore a frown,
He said I can tell you've been hurt
Please don't cry, they're not worth it
I told him how I am continuously being used
Whether it's for ***, support, and how I'm not amused
That no one cares about love anymore,
It's all about getting into someone else's drawers
He said I understand your frustration,
Welcome to our generation.
The conversation was nice,
But I had to think twice
Once he started complimenting me on my ***
I couldn't believe it took that turn so fast
Asking if I would give him a chance
But not with my heart, just to get inside my pants

WHAT THE **** HAPPENED TO LOVE.
I am so ******* over this *******.
Jan 31 · 453
I need some protection.
Madison Jan 31
Everywhere you go
You hear about safe ***
But no one ever talks about safe love

I wish they made condoms for hearts.
Madison Jan 24
Welcome, my heart-broken peers
I see those eyes, filled with tears
Whether it was weeks, months, years
That you were in love
I understand, it feels like you can't cry enough
You gave your all, and all you got in return was a big *******
You never thought he'd be the one to
Come into your life and try to just pass on through
**** that person who hurt you
Because you don't deserve that, none of us do.

Anyways, I am going to help you through this break-up
To help you to stop ruining that make-up
That keeps running down your cheeks
When he crosses your mind
By the time
I'm done reading this poem
I promise you will no longer think of him.

How to succeed in heartbreak.
First, get comfy on your couch
Or whatever whereabouts
In your house
You like to relax.
Grab that bottle of wine
Pour it into one of those plastic cups
Gotta have some kind of class around here,
We aren't pirates after all
But don't feel guilty drinking the whole bottle
Or two if you need it,
Throw it all back
Now that's the spirit.

After all that wine
You might start to cry
But that's okay,
Let it all out
No matter what those tears are about
Curse that *******'s name
Until you feel yourself going insane
Open your window
Scream it into the shadows
Of the night
It's what he deserves
For having the nerve
To **** with your heart the way he did
Keep it going, it's good riddance
You'll feel better once you did it.

Maybe download tinder for a while,
Use a model's picture for your profile
Swiping at whoever you please
Get those matches high, till your fingers start to freeze up
But never actually starting a conversation
Don't feel bad, they don't deserve an explanation
They're just a picture on a screen
But it'll make you feel better, you'll see.

This is the worst part, where you begin
To feel the heartbreak settle in
You look down at your feet
And you swear you can see
That your heart has literally shattered into pieces
I want you to pick them up one by one
No matter how much blood
Starts to drip from your hands
Trust me, I understand
That it's painful
But life is full of that.
Together, we will build a castle
Out of every single piece
Of your once fragile heart
Because you are queen,
And you better ******* believe it
And only a castle is fit
For you
And nobody else but you.


You are allowed to loathe in sadness, drowning yourself in wine
And scream his name deep into the shadows of the night
As long as you remember to pick up your remains
And rid yourself completely of his god forsaken name
Because you are ******* queen, **** heart break
Love is not allowed to destroy you, love is not allowed to take
Any piece of you, ever again
And that, my friend,
Is how you succeed heartbreak.
sorry for the very long poems. working on my slam poetry!
Madison Jan 24
You wanna know how I got these scars?
See, I ripped every piece of my flesh out
That you ran your fingertips over
and over and over
From my knees to my shoulders
I should’ve told you to
Keep your hands to yourself
Because I've never felt
So much pain
Trying to erase a stain
From my skin
The sin
We committed
It just wasn't worth it.

You wanna know how I got these scars?
I became target practice for cupid
You can't imagine how stupid
I felt
When I kept falling for guys
And it was only a matter of time
Until they threw me to the side
After deciding
They were done with me,
They didn't want me anymore
But picking up my shattered heart
Was too much of a chore
For their sorry-*****.

You wanna know how I got these scars?
I took pieces of myself
And gave them to men who were so undeserving
But I was yearning for love
Burning for love
******* love
I hate you, love...
It was never returned
And trust me, I learned
My lesson
I will never invest
In a human being like him
Ever again.

So, you want to know how I got these scars?
You can blame love,
Something I am now numb to
Because of you.
Jan 18 · 362
Nostalgic dreams..
Madison Jan 18
You visited me in my dreams last night
Teary-eyed
When our glances met
Face-to-face with an ex
I told you I didn’t want to hurt you anymore
Even though I am sure
You are the one who caused me pain
Anyway...
You held me in your embrace
A place
I used to know so well
and I could tell
The passion between us was about to burst
But first
You cupped your hand to my face
So close to yours, I could taste
The sweetness on your tongue
I used to never be able to get enough
Our lips so close
Tugging on my clothes
And abruptly I awoke

Only to find I am still alone.
j.w.
Jan 17 · 243
Bye-Bye Birdie.
Madison Jan 17
"Don't date an artist unless you can trap them like a bird"
He warned me,
I didn't understand what he meant until now.

The way an artist is so care-free,
So go-with-the-flow,
Unafraid of change
Unafraid of letting things go

I was foolish to think the bird was in the cage,
I thought I had him but he flew away.
Madison Jan 17
Sometimes feeling physical pain
Helps release the pain you are feeling inside.
It's a weird concept, but it works for me. Of course I love every single one. But I usually don't get them until I am filled with pain and rage. They are therapeutic to me.
Jan 17 · 2.9k
Blue.
Madison Jan 17
He was an artist
I wanted so badly to be his canvas
For him to fill my mind
With vibrant yellow's, orange's, green's...

But he filled me with the blues instead.
Madison Jan 17
I let you too close to me,
close enough for you to reach your hands into my chest
between my ribs
below my quivering lips
I shook the fear away and let you in anyway

I let each of your ten fingers stretch around my heart,
I allowed you to feel the way my heart throbbed for you
the way it ached for you

I didn't think you would dig your nails straight in
and rip it out of my chest.
Madison Jan 17
Never did I think you'd be the one to break me.
**** love.
Madison Jan 14
My heart is like one of those 4-year old kids you see with the leashed backpack on because they are so out of control. I always have to tug her closer to me, she does stupid **** that a kid would do, like try and touch hot stove tops. I have to warn her constantly, "get too close and you will get burned". She runs around, so free spirited, but doesn't watch her step. I again have to warn her constantly, "you will (trip and) fall if you are careless like that". She is very drawn to pretty things, wanting to touch anything that is appealing to the eye. I have to warn her, "just because something is beautiful on the inside doesn't mean it's just as pretty on the inside. Dig a little deeper, ***".


My heart has its moments, my heart can be careless, my heart can sometimes even be shallow. My brain has to tug on the leash constantly, reminding my heart to be more careful, more mindful, if you will. If I let my heart free, she would get hurt an unreasonable amount of times. Some people need leashes on their hearts, I guess.
so random. I don't know what to make of this poem.
Madison Jan 14
today I am going to write about what I am most afraid of.

right now, I am most afraid of you.
I am afraid of the emotions I feel when I am with you, when I think about you, especially the ones I feel when I am not with you.
I am afraid that I have fallen hard you-
the way my entire body melts when I see your smile terrifies me, you touch me and I feel this surge of electricity through my skin
and the shock scares me to death.

you hold me in your arms and I am afraid that one day you are going to let go, and who knows what will happen then?
all I know is that I don't want this to end, whatever "this" may be.

I am afraid that you are going to be the one for me, but I won't be the one for you. I don't want to be put through that pain, another thing I am afraid of.

I am afraid I love you.
I've got it bad.
Dec 2018 · 1.4k
Congrats, you broke me.
Madison Dec 2018
Alas, another failed love
As if God doesn’t think I’ve felt enough
Pain in my chest
Or lost enough rest
Over a broken heart
I just keep getting ripped apart
And it’s hard, I’m over it.

Why do I let people do this to me?
I’m delicate, can’t you see?
Let me be, for ***** sake
Don’t know how much more I can take
Before I break completely
Good luck piecing me
Back together
after I shatter.

I’m done letting people in
Because in the end, I never win.
Dec 2018 · 417
I love you.
Madison Dec 2018
I’ll love you harder
On the days you can’t love yourself
Hold you tighter in my arms
Anything I could do to help
You see the amazing person you are
And everything you have to offer
To tell you how lucky I feel
That you chose me, and not her

This is my promise to you
For you deserve to see
The amazing person you are
Who you continue to be

And though we may no longer be together
You will have a piece of my heart forever.
I will help you fight this depression, even if we aren’t together anymore. This is my promise to you
Madison Dec 2018
Just breathe.
Everything will be okay.
Madison Nov 2018
I couldn’t sleep last night knowing I broke your heart
It was just too hard for me, being so far apart
I couldn’t be there for your good days or your bad
To cheer you up when you were feeling sad
It was so easy to ignore the other when a fight broke out
To just put your phone on silent, to shut each other out
And when we needed a hug, when we were craving a kiss
All we could do was promise each other this-
I will see you in time my love, I’ll be in your arms again soon
But waiting was so painful, when I wanted to be next to you
I swear I’ve never met a love like you before
You told me you loved me, but I know I loved you more
I wish “us” could have worked, but I had to let you go
But the next girl will be so **** lucky to have you... more than she will ever know.
It was so hard for me to write this
Nov 2018 · 129
I hate snakes.
Madison Nov 2018
He’s like a boa
Wrapped tightly around my neck
Strangling me to death

I dig my nails
Straight into his flesh
But he won’t let go yet

I don’t know
What it’s going to take
I ******* hate this ******* snake

No matter how hard I fight my feelings for you
You’re like a boa, strangling me, turning me blue
i Have no idea what this is.. it doesn’t make a lot of sense but I’m sick of you being in my head.
Nov 2018 · 96
I need to let go...
Madison Nov 2018
I took a buzzfeed quiz today to see if I’ve met the love of my life yet...
It says I have,
And I STILL cant help but think that it’s you.
j.w.
Nov 2018 · 209
The Little Things
Madison Nov 2018
I miss looking over and watching you mouth the words to every song.
Nov 2018 · 172
Untitled
Madison Nov 2018
I wish I still had you.
I’m not even sure if you read these anymore... but tonight I wish I stil had you.
Nov 2018 · 85
Just one of those nights.
Madison Nov 2018
Nowadays, it’s rare that you cross my mind
I’ve come to find
That I’m crying a lot less
That the pain in my chest
Is practically gone
Thank god

But tonight was one of those nights
Where I couldn’t fight
The tears building in my eyes
I don’t know why
But I embraced the pain in my chest
Along with the rest (of things)
Like all the fond memories of me and you
I wish they had left when you did too.
You were my true love. j.w.
Nov 2018 · 67
Reciprocation
Madison Nov 2018
I don’t just want someone
Who loves me...
I want someone who loves
The way I love.
Is that so much to ask... god
Madison Nov 2018
we ran a mile forward
burst into a full-on sprint
but I'm realizing our paces aren't the same
and I'm starting to regret it.
it's a weird concept i guess.. what i'm trying to say is we ran so quickly into this relationship and I'm realizing that you've slown down drastically which I don't like. I'm regretting not taking things slow. This is why runners pace themselves I guess.
Nov 2018 · 298
Untitled
Madison Nov 2018
I wish I could delete the bad thoughts in my head the way you can go through your camera roll and delete the pictures you don’t like...
But alas,
Nothing is that easy.
Nov 2018 · 1.4k
Yeah, I said it
Madison Nov 2018
I have a bad feeling
This bridge between us is about to burn down
But maybe the heat from the flames will be able to warm your heart
Since my love wasn’t able to.
*******
Nov 2018 · 106
Don’t do drugs...
Madison Nov 2018
Your love is like ******
I inject you straight into my veins
It gives me a high that
I don’t think I can live without anymore
Your love is like ******

And it is going to destroy me.
This is why my mom told me not to do drugs...
Nov 2018 · 122
Bleeding because of love.
Madison Nov 2018
You are broken
And I want to fix you
I want to pick up your remains
Your thousands of shards
And piece you back together
But you are slicing me open

And it hurts.
Nov 2018 · 188
Outsider.
Madison Nov 2018
He slammed a door in my face tonight
Shutting me out
He left me in the dark with
So many questions
And a new brokenness inside me
I’m reaching for the door handle

But I think I might walk away.
**** it
Nov 2018 · 153
The scary truth.
Madison Nov 2018
I can feel your being
Slowly becoming entangled in mine
Like the roots of an oak
Stretching its limbs deep down
Into the earth's soil
The oak cannot survive
Without the soil
You have become my soil


and that terrifies me.
i am terrified.
Oct 2018 · 131
Waving goodbye to my heart.
Madison Oct 2018
Everything that falls must break at some point.
Madison Oct 2018
I always fall hard
I always fall fast,
And it always ends up
Biting me in the ***.
****
Madison Oct 2018
my mind is floating
my body a distant friend
my soul is busy dreaming
i am three but one
but still three
can't you see
i don't belong here
but i don't let it fill me with fear
because fear is defeat
something i refuse to greet

everything is out of my control
so i just go with the flow
sure i have questions
plenty of confessions
yet i will continue to exist
even if no answers are given

isn't that funny
i won't let anything break me
i will continue to be
for as long as i can be
Madison Oct 2018
You take me to another realm
When we converse with our bodies
Completely out of this world
Completely out of this galaxy

I see stars when you touch me
They stretch on for years
I swear my mind leaves its body
I don't care if it ever returns here

It's a religious experience
As I scream God's name
My knuckles turn white
As my flesh catches flame

My universe explodes
And I return back to Earth
Where I will continue to think of outer space
And patiently await my next rebirth.
Oct 2018 · 160
Diary Entry #3
Madison Oct 2018
I put on a lace body suit today
that I haven't worn for anyone but you
I've proven to myself that I have officially moved on
No longer hung up on the past, no longer hung up on you.
Oct 2018 · 73
Fallllliiinnngggg
Madison Oct 2018
Someone catch me, I’m falling
I can hear him calling
My name ever so sweet
Swept me right off my feet

As long as I don’t look down
Not one peek at the ground
I’ll spread my arms out mid air
And fall without a care
As long as I don’t see the end, I’ll continue to fall for you.
Madison Oct 2018
I wish I could put into the most poetic words
How beautiful he is
The way he makes me feel
The way his smile curves
The amount of love I have for him

I wish the words would flow from my tongue
So gracefully
Sweet as could be
Like a spoonful of warm honey
Oh, baby

But you leave me speechless.
Oct 2018 · 85
wowza
Madison Oct 2018
your confidence
is it heaven sent
does it come within
so radiant

i have to have it
no way around it
i'll make it happen
there ain't no stoppin' it

I've fallen hard
but it's good so far
love who you are
a born star

when i close my eyes
look up to the sky
i still see you shine
wanna go blind

always on my mind
don't matter what time
one of a kind
this love's so hard to find

so I'm

not letting go
you're the one, i know
no one else for sure
never felt this before
Oct 2018 · 453
lets explore....
Madison Oct 2018
this fantasy
of you and me
between the sheets
feel the heat
nothing between
us
but burning lust
do what you want
you have my trust
can't get enough

take me to the place
where heaven doesn't feel so far away
take me to the place
and let me stay, let me stay
I love you
Madison Oct 2018
waking up the sun is rising still curled up in a ball
I roll over to my side and you're facing the wall
under the sheets I know you're hiding, guarding your heart as well
I know you scared and babe it's fair we've both been through some hell
but
give it time, let me earn your trust
please don't call it yet, it's only been a couple months

I wanna tell you how really I feel
cuz I can tell that this is getting real
please just hold me, and stay right here
give it time, and your mind will (start to) clear

I've had some **** in the past
broken hearts, **** that
it ****** with my head too
but think of what we have

I know you know the feeling.
Madison Oct 2018
I’m about to get very real
I feel like I need to get it off my chest

I’m on this journey of self love
I’ve learned how to love
And most importantly accept
Who I am on the inside
I take pride in it
But ****, it took me a long time to get there
It took heartbreak
It took panic attacks
It took a lot of emotional and mental beatings
But I’ve learned to love who I am
Again, on the inside.

For the past year or so
I’ve been struggling to love who I am
On the outside
When I got my heart broken
My confidence shattered
I became scared to wear certain things
Scared to get close to another man
Because I knew my clothes would come off
Eventually
I’m in love with a man
But I’m not in love with my body
And the thought of getting in bed with him
Terrifies me
I pray that he is patient enough
To help piece myself back together
To build something back up
That was once so strong

I can’t really explain
Why I feel this way about myself
Or about being intimate with someone
Maybe it’s because I’m scared to get that close
To someone again
Just to have your heart broken
Maybe it’s because I truly don’t love myself externally
Maybe it’s just my anxiety talking
But this is me
These are my biggest fears
My biggest obstacles in life at the moment
I know I can overcome them
That day starts today.
Oct 2018 · 475
OOps sorry
Madison Oct 2018
I want to taste your chocolatey skin
melt against my tongue
lick you from my lips
ugh
Oct 2018 · 211
Just some thoughts.
Madison Oct 2018
its been two weeks and you got my heart throbbing
weak in the knees there's just no stopping
this buildup of all these feelings
you caught my attention, just keep reeling
me straight into your arms
trust me baby, i'm not going far
or anywhere for that matter
I'm mad in love
you're the only one I'm after.
love you baby. m.
Sep 2018 · 694
M.
Madison Sep 2018
M.
His hands were poetry
As they touched my pages
And pages of skin last night
God, it was amazing
We made this beautiful book
Bound together
At least for a couple hours
I could live in that moment forever
All I can do for now is re read
Letting my fingers trace my favorite parts
My eyes slowly trailing behind
I wish we didn’t have to be so far apart
Your ink has stained my pages
Permanent across my skin
And I can’t wait for the sequel
Where we can do it all over again.
m.
Sep 2018 · 113
Diary Entry #1
Madison Sep 2018
Never did I imagine
That I’d fall in love in a city
As beautiful as New York
With someone as beautiful as you.
Madison Sep 2018
for some people, love is still pure and good
something you'd never think could
do you harm
the comforting arm
around one's shoulder
growing special as one grows older
i envy those who still are in love
those who still get butterflies
the stars in their eyes
the ones who bubble over and blush
as their blood rushes through their veins
those who have yet to feel the pain of true love

they say you don't know what true love is
until that person rips your heart out
leaving you to bleed out
all over the floor
and nothing in the world
could ever be more true.

first you think you'll never find love again
after your true love comes to an end
you're a goner, your mind wanders and you ponder
the thought of dying alone when you're old
you're sold that that is your destiny
then the anger rushes through you

you hate the person who was your everything
who is now your nothing
you wish hell upon them
as your stomach turns
you want their body to burn
the way your heart burned for their touch
you could never get enough,
here you go again

you start to feel the sadness
feels like madness
wondering how long it will last, it
doesn't forever I promise
you just need to let the tears out
no matter what you're crying about
don't keep it inside
or after some time
you will feel like a bomb waiting to explode
even though
you don't want them to see
how bad you are suffering

for some people, love is still pure and good
but for me, it is ruined for good
easiest thing to write about. thank god I don't feel this way anymore, but I did for a long time.
Sep 2018 · 1.1k
Over you.
Madison Sep 2018
I may never see you again
And I am finally, perfectly okay with that.
Aug 2018 · 266
One last time
Madison Aug 2018
Whiskey lips against mine
Have never tasted so good
I’d kiss them every day
If only I could

But your love is temporary
It fades within time
Just like your memories
Of you and I

So call me your baby
Before you sober up
Because I know you won’t want me
By the time you wake up
i wish he wanted me when he’s sober... I’ll soak in every second the way he drinks every drop.
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