depression, a sickness,
a lonesome disease
yet no outer sores
for others to see
deceptive smiles
a half-hearted, "Fine"
when someone is hurting
where is the sign?
they lay in their shells,
shrinking away
when they've lost faith in the good
and each passing day
a lavender lip smear
a watercolor face
struggling to continue
the rushing new pace
where do they turn
when depression is growing?
and those who are closest
have no way of knowing

Sometimes in the middle of the night,
I wake up and wonder where you are.
I wonder what you're doing,
What you're thinking,
What your life is like.

I wonder if you miss me,
If you think of me,
If you wonder who I am.

I wonder if you regret,
If it's ever crossed your mind,
That I'm not coming back.

All we share is DNA.
All we share is DNA.
And the curious feeling about what each other is like.
But that is all we share.
That is all we share.

i want to be able to immediately list everything i can use to describe you once i see you
but you appear and i go blank
you sweep away the thoughtful dust and the rough dirt
you wash away the bacteria and the confusion
i forget everything
because you
yes, you
you are standing here in front of me
and i am silently waiting around on you
to help me see how to describe you
i wait and i want and i wait and i want
but you don't assist me
in knowing exactly who you are
i want to know you
i want so much from you
i'm sorry for similarly being an expectant parent
but i want more
more and more
from you and your mouth,
your touch and your words
please

she was just a seed
no different than any other
and she saw herself as others did not,
crowded
in a garden full of lovely flowers
who fought for their share of necessities,
sunlight,water
but it was her against them
and as she bloomed
her colours began to fade
and noone around her
seemed to notice
or maybe they didn't care
but it was too late
and she was too weak
      
                                                           *m.f

I try to fall asleep
And dream my tears away.
I just can’t shake the feeling
That no one ever stays.
They see my pain;
The scars of yesterday,
So they just stay away,
No one to lean on;
No one to whom I can pray;
There is no God
In a world so astray.
Put on a fake smile;
Pretend you’re okay.
Just walk away.
The pain in my chest swells,
A reminder of the fateful day.
What made me deserve
Such a high price to pay?
If only someone could come by
And make me feel okay.
But for now, they stay away,

Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
I’m so sorry for this;
I’ve done you wrong so many a time,
Finally babe, it's my victimless crime.

Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
Need to apologize,
Realize I’m mad and bound for decay,
Need to tell you; the fleeting light of the day.

Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
I’ve lied, through these, my guilt,
Kneel here repenting, hugging your hips.
Start to break down, what was sobriety dips.

Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
I’ve done it all again;
You’re already aware of my past,
Your fears they will continued, here I relapse.

Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
I’m back to it, the past.
These scars and old wounds fester again;
I’m back in the dirt, like a dog in his chains.

Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
You’re forced to know this now;
I fought, and I fight, it’s gotten bad.
I broke, then killed a man, giving all I had.

Oh Darling, Oh Darling,
There was that look again!
You my rock, my only salvation;
Gone, apartment empty, at the bus station...

Oh Darling, you’re no longer mine!
I cry into a mirror, cursing my name;
Sorrow turns to anger, these fists to blame.
A crash, broken mirror, a home inflamed...

Oh Darling gone, Oh Darling gone,
I can only apologize with my life,
A true sacrifice to never enshrine...

Small chill in the air,
a smell you never forget,
red, orange, and yellow paint the tree-full horizon.
The leaves brush my face
as the fall gracefully down,
reminding me why I love September.
School buses fill the streets once again,
stopping at every corner.
Kids run to each of their houses
filled with stories of their day away.
Maybe it's these feelings
that make this all okay,
to love the way
the leaves fall,
gracefully.

When thunder split the night sky,
and rain pounded the earth, dreams
pushed Avery to my bed: "Dad,
I can't sleep, can I sleep with you?"
Only barely awake I pulled the covers
aside to make room, then heard his
breathing next to me,
soft beneath the rain,
counterpoint to thunder,
only a small puff of wind,
but strong enough to push his ship
away from shore, heading toward the horizon.