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 Apr 2018 Madhurima
Shivani Lalan
Many days,
Poetry will not coax me out of my stupor
with the zest of a child
on the first day of summer.
Many days,
she will not make a sound
as she runs through a house
made of my words - no anklet tinkling against silvery feet,
no soft swishes of her dupatta across the sofa.
Many days,
Poetry would like to leave me alone
- in my home of rust and rubble,
in the middle of technicolour trouble,
me surrounded by blunt edges
of half-chipped words,
half-baked rhythm (never rhyme), half-sighed syllables onto blank paper.
Many days,
Poetry sees me accept complete defeat,
with art gathering dust
in the pages of notebooks that will never need filling,
with pens that will never be picked up, with ideas that will never be strung into a poem.

And yet here I am.

Picking up frayed string ends,
trying to tie them into a verse,
to leave it on the first shelf for her
to hopefully pick up.

It might be time for Poetry
to take 29 slowstumblingstuttering steps towards me,
this is me taking the first.
There's no English equivalent for retrouvailler why is this language so dumb // *** go NaPoWriMo yaaaas ♡
 Jun 2015 Madhurima
jessiah
It's amazing

How a pair of eyes can enthrall you

I've been watching hers for only minutes

And marveling at everything...

Everything indeed is there

All my terrifying needs

I am thin with worth,

And with a glance

I am pierced by demand

How can I ever delight such majesty?

Gods help me keep her interest
 Mar 2015 Madhurima
hxxnxh
When you ask me
Why I always wear that one colour
I tell you it pleases me
When you ask me
Why I never laugh out loud
I tell you it frightens me
When you ask me
Why I never let my hair down
I tell you it troubles me
When you ask me
About all these little things
I tell you what they mean
But I don't tell you
All the stories and words and struggles behind them
What I tell you
Is only a part of me
What I tell you
Doesn't even begin to scratch the surface
 Feb 2015 Madhurima
hxxnxh
Why am I doing this again
I ask myself as
I spend another night
Pouring myself on
Paper
Only to tear it apart
Hours later
Why am I doing this again
I ask myself as
I spend another weekend
Wrapped up in
Thoughts
Of what could have been
Only to open up
To the coldness outside
Why am I doing this again
I ask myself
As I hide behind
The idea of what will be
To forget what is
Why am I doing this again
I ask myself as
I let my soul drown
Into your eyes
Eyes as black as coal
Eyes as deep as an abyss
With no end
I let myself fall
And find all
The torn papers
And all the abandoned
Thoughts
And I know the answer
To my question
I keep doing what I do
Because all of it reminds me
of your eyes
All of it reminds me
of home
And I let myself
Get consumed by you
 Jan 2015 Madhurima
Shivani Lalan
Hold your head
above the crimson water,
my love.

There's peace in the air,
there's peace;
a dove.

And heart from heart
it flutters,
in vain.

To bring to this parched earth
love,
and rain.

When peace, she groaned
under the weight of darkness,
she cried.

"The armies heard not this wail"
and the gentlemen
they lied.
Inspired by O, gentlemen by Sahir Ludhyanvi
 Jan 2015 Madhurima
Missy Beminio
do you think you have it?
cause I want to hide from you
living in defense
don't try to steal from me

the panic in your voice says
you think you lost it
never mind that
It was never yours to begin with

come into my space
show me what you've done
maybe it's too far gone
I think I feel undone

with the breeze, it crosses by
touched my skin
and touched my thigh
pierced my soul
you caught my eye

sharper grip against the grain
don't live in this vein
never mind the fear
you'll find it all in here
 Jan 2015 Madhurima
J Drake
Faith. Hope. Love.
I don't have answers. I don't really know much.
But I know that those things ignite something in your heart, casting away the darkness of fear and regret.

When the cobwebs in the basement are cleared, you find all your old dreams hidden in corners you forgot about.

And when you pound your fist in the dirt, and say enough is enough... I'm not here to survive, I'm here to LIVE... to laugh and play and realize my deepest passions... to find the ocean of joy and invite everyone I know to swim in it with me. To love myself daringly; to dance with the darkness of my fears and invite their lessons in.

Something doesn't have to change. Everything has to change.
I'm not interested in being right anymore.
I'm interested in being ALIVE.

When you commit these things to yourself, and fight for love, for hope, for the adventure of really living all the way... something happens.

Something flips inside you, and heaven begins pounding at your door.

Life has always waited patiently on you to stop waiting patiently.

Adventure isn't around the corner. It's hiding underneath your heart.

Right here. Right now.
The beating of my heart... measured into words. Happy New Year. Contact me at awakenedimagination@gmail.com to share your feelings on my work. :)
 Nov 2014 Madhurima
Shivani Lalan
It came to me as I walked out the door.

My heart, I probably forgot
on his doorstep.
Or in the pocket of his favourite sweatshirt,
or in the first strains of his voice,
singing the song of my heart,
for my heart.

What does it matter?
It's all just shards anyway.
Shards hurt.
They pierce your skin,
as they do mine.
But in me, they evoke a flood.
and in you,
a string broken,
and nought else.

It has been my sweetest downfall,
watching you tear at life.
Colliding with fire.
running headlong toward the plunge
Crashing with my walls,
beaten back by catastrophic emotion.
You sighed,
and walked
and watched.
All I had to do was break down,
and you'd be standing there.

The shards you did not pick up.
No.
The shards you swept away
under the languid carpet.
they stayed there,
blameless.
For it is the fall that caused the shards
and not the other way round.

"The shards will help you feel."
I said.
"No, the shards you can keep."
A sharp shake, 'no'
Maybe he does not want to remember
that perhaps a quiet word,
a secret smile
would have seen the shards intact where
glittering stones and fresh satin
could not.

What does it matter?
The silence isn't too loud.
The void isn't too full.
The cold isn't too harsh.
The tear isn't too sad.

What does it matter?
To you,
or
to the shards.
SERIOUSLY I am NOT heartbroken and whatnot ugh shush people.
 Oct 2014 Madhurima
Shivani Lalan
Your neck is bruised and red and raw,
dear dream.
Your pulse is feeble, last that I saw,
dear dream.
Your eyes, they have lost that light,
dear dream.
Your soul has given up this fight,
dear dream.

This you know in your heart,
dear dream.
That you were never meant to be a part
of the soaring hope and flourishing start
expected of you by them,
dear dream.

The noose,
It tightens around your neck,
dear dream.
They’re telling you you’re a wreck,
dear dream.
You are given marching orders, ‘
dear dream.
You are given reckless borders,
dear dream.

The noose,
It tells you how to feel,
dear dream.
It tells you when to heel,
dear dream.
And when I tell you to run,
dear dream.
Catching you will not pass for fun,
dear dream.

The noose,
Waits for you in light and dark,
dear dream.
Waits to douse that spark,
dear dream.
Flee, my dear,
dear dream.
Hide, my dear,
dear dream.

The noose,
It waits patiently for its due,
dear dream.
A warning, an ode.
Run, my dear,
dear dream.
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