a yellow summer is coming
yellow tipped sun kissed clouds
drift just above a pasture of yellow waving flowers
summer is coming, you can smell it
in the warm air, still misty with rain
rain that dampened silky yellow strands of hair
and a gentle breeze gives hope
that maybe it will offer relief from the sticky yellow sun
a yellow summer is coming

I thought this one would be the same
I didn't raise red flags by the name
I read outside the lines, I am sad to admit
an hour later, realization hit
you weren't just talking about leaving this space
you were actually writing about leaving this PLACE
I scrambled to reread it, tried to decide
but all I found were more hints that I was right
I typed out a message, but I fear I was too late
I am certain you have chosen your own fate
your poems spoke of love, nature and pain
but it seems you felt your life was in vain
and I just can't help the thoughts that cross my mind
what if I had reached out sooner, been more kind?
you came to me when you were worried about someone
yet the amount of concern I had for you at that moment was none
you have left us stranded
I took you for granted
I don't even know if you're alive or dead
there is still more I would have said
I didn't even know you
but from what I knew
there was so much raw kindness and concern for everyone
but this was not kind, what you have done
curse all those who led you to do this
yet forgive them nonetheless
I will miss your name on my homepage every day
there was still so much more you didn't allow me to say.

Every day feels like I'm drowning in my thoughts.
I cannot run from it.
Nightmare becomes a scream, but rain is not an option.

I tried to become a star
It shines, but it is filled with lies.
Every clap sounds like a clown.
Cry me a river, I swear I'd drown myself.

to those who may need to hear this today:
please just stay.
just one more day.
until that day turns into two
and two turns into forever
because I promise you
things can get better, but they won't if you never
look for it
or wait for it
just hold on
just be strong
live each day like you're awaiting what's to come
but you must also not forget the hurt you came from
that's your reminder to look ahead
at the better days instead of the impending dread
so I beg of you
sincerely, stay
just one more day
until forever

the key is trying
and not letting go
the key is crying
but not giving up
the key is loving
but not losing hope
the key is choosing
and not choosing wrong

all I can feel is your absence