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 May 11 Lydia
Sir, I do not need to be saved.
I just need to be found and appreciated
for exactly who I am.

 Jan 22 Lydia
 Jan 22 Lydia
I stopped looking for you in the sun and the stars
you don’t belong there
you will never do them justice.
When I look up at the night sky absolutely mesmerized by the possibility of such beauty I no longer think of you.
You belong on earth, so grounded by your own rigidness that flight is impossible.
 Sep 2018 Lydia
I want you in my life
but I don't want to be committed to you
I'm scared to be committed to you
because one-day ill fall in love and you'll be gone

people always leave
its inevitable
what's the point of committing to someone you know wont be there forever
 Sep 2018 Lydia
I'm sure I look fine.

Days like today,
I want to strip the skin
From my forearms
Using only my fingernails.

Days like today,
I want to wring out
My legs like a washcloth,
Squeeze the rolls on my stomach
Until they're empty.

Days like this,
I want to walk away from my body

I'm sure I look fine.
 Aug 2018 Lydia
 Aug 2018 Lydia
I wear a watch just because I like the way it looks.
I don't actually use it to keep the time.
I buy books even though I haven't sat down and finished one in many years.
I've already listened to Christmas music this year and bought an iced pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks even though August hasn't ended yet.

And I might be in love even though it's one sided and I swore I wouldn't fall for anyone for a long time.
In conclusion, I'm an idiot.
 Aug 2018 Lydia
 Aug 2018 Lydia
I am sitting in bed in my new dress, eating an extra large bar of Hersheys Dark Chocolate,
watching a Tv show about women in their mid twenties who are dysfunctional.
If that doesn't scream single I don't know what does.
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