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383 · Feb 24
Losing Interest
Losing Interest
You won't find no better than this
I swear girl, if you leave
Just let me know
So i won't look dumb
When you
Move on..
Reminds me of her..
350 · Dec 2018
Him
Him
My pen could write
for a thousand people

But it never smiles about them
the way it does for you
I hope you're waiting..
280 · Dec 2018
Us #2
He came to me
and pulled up his sleeve
and handed me a knife
with tears in his eyes
saying “Cut me..”

I looked at
him confused

He said through tears
“I can’t stand to see you
hurting yourself so
if you need to cut
something ..cut me”

And in that moment
I broke into tears
and hugged him
and never let go

Because true love is when you don’t care if you have to be in pain as long as the one you love is happy.
❤️Last thing I do❤️
211 · Jan 9
?
?
It's sad how
things are most beautiful
when they are ending..

Flowers when they're wilting,
the leaves in autumn,
the sun when its setting..

Your smile when it's fading...
198 · Nov 2018
Desire pt 4
For you, yeah I’ve heard it all and made mistakes
Chased my days with Novocaine
Oh, I wonder, are we a work of art
I know we’ll **** at making plans
In the end you’ll understand
(For you)
(For you) shhh...
I’m sorry
if I
wasn’t
the daughter
you had
in mind.


- I only ever wanted to make you proud
186 · Nov 2018
Scars
I suppose

I love my scars
because
they have
stayed with me
longer

Than most people
have..
128 · Nov 2018
Live or Die
They threw me in and now I’m drowning in the deep end
If I’m religious, you’re the one that I believe in
You’ve been here with me to help me fight all my demons
On our way through the sky
We’re gon’ look down tonight
When we die, you and I
Two heartbreak soldiers
When you lay by my side
I see the world through your eyes
Ride or die, you and I
To live or die, what’s the price on a life?
:)
126 · Dec 2018
Happier alone
I thought I’d feel empty if you ever decided to leave me ..

Isn’t it strange?

That these days I feel more full then I ever did when I was with you
104 · Dec 2018
The broken hearts club pt 2
I guess if you can't beat 'em, join 'em
That's what they always say
Let's go inside, let's coincide
And I'll commensurate
Singin', we're the newest members of the broken hearts club
We still feel pretty lonely and we wish we didn't, but
We're the newest members of the broken hearts club
And we all kinda hate it, but it's easier than love
98 · Dec 2018
The hardest thing
The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do?
It wasn’t you.. letting you go, that was difficult though, to swallow my pride and wear a smile to hide the fact I’m not okay..

Oh no, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do?
Was finally admit to myself the truth..

It was admitting that you were never mine to begin with..
94 · Feb 24
MoMmA
She realized that wanting him
meant losing herself

She realized that she couldn’t
save her own soul
because her hands were too busy

Holding the hand of someone
who no longer deserved her energy..
85 · Jan 10
Didn't know..
The princess
locked herself away
in the highest tower,
hoping a knight
in shining armor
would come to her
rescue.


                    - I DIDN'T REALIZE I COULD BE MY OWN KNIGHT
84 · Nov 2018
Oh..
Chemistry is the science
of making everyone else

But us disappear

...
Oh..well ****
80 · Jan 11
Chapter of her escape
over the decades,
her books became
such a part
of her

that
the ink
somehow escaped
her veins

& bloomed
her favorite
words & images
onto her skin.

Now
the world
would have
no doubt:

she
was the
pagebound
girl.

                                 - PAGE TO SKIN
80 · Nov 2018
Life..(?)
Ah life—
the thing
that happens
to us
while we’re off
somewhere else
blowing on
dandelions
& wishing
ourselves into
the pages of
our favorite

                           fairy tales..
10:20 a.m. 112418❤️
79 · Nov 2018
Love..?
I used to think
love wasn’t for me..
THAT I wasn’t worthy..

But all it took.. was one hello..

to change everything
76 · Nov 2018
Sad love aesthetic
There are nights I cry so hard that my
body aches and I shake and I have to
put my head in my pillow so no one
hears me..

There also nights I’m happy that
you’re happy and I think everything
happens for a reason..

And there also nights where I feel
nothing at all..

But there is never a night that you
don’t cross my mind ...
73 · Nov 2018
She falls
The leaves fall as they die
The rain when the clouds cry

Rose petals fall as the color fades
Tears when her heart breaks

Stars fall to make her wishes come true  
Her hair when she undresses you

All of these fall,
just like she falls for you...
6’11’18 12:01 pm
73 · Nov 2018
Women
As women

Everyone thinks we’re fine...

Because makeup hides ...

The sleepless nights

AND THE TEARS WE CRY...
71 · Nov 2018
Just one simple fake wish
I wish we lived in a world...

Where it was safe to keep

..our hearts unlocked
She felt like feeling nothing
cold like a touch of winter
empty like the wine bottles
that took up space in her room

A summer of mistakes
led her here
a bed filled with loneliness
and a heart tired of breaking

She felt like feeling nothing
She grew tired missing you
70 · Jan 8
Haunt
I feel alive when I'm sleeping
'Cause they can't trust my words if I don't speak
But the world knows most my secrets
I feel alive when I'm asleep

And I haunt myself in the middle of the night
As I float through the frame of my body in my mind, oh
Everyone knows that I'm dying to feel fine
But the lens in my brain always tells me twisted lies

I see the world through a filter
And I'm just a different kind
I feel alive when I'm sleeping
I always hide on the inside
70 · Jan 9
<3All of you
And
you were just
  like the     moon,
    so lonely, so
full of imperfections
                                                                          but just like the moon..
                                                                                 you           shined
                                                                             in times of darkness
goodnight :)
69 · Nov 2018
...
...
Do you know how hard it is with people
asking me
Left        Right    

                     and centre
Won’t stop asking your name..
And I have to explain.. that you STILL love me...

But not the same..
and when I tell them you left me... they look at me so incredulously
“He doesn’t know what he’s missing”

But the thing is neither do I :(
66 · Nov 2018
Until then.. children
There were
once
five
girls
who
shared
every part
of themselves:
                                       Blood
                                       &
                                       Secrets
                                       &
                                       Lovers
                                       &
                                       Even
                                       a diary.
But
a girl
can only
bleed
so much
before she
meets

her demise

- I’ll see you in California
remember when
you told
you wrote that
beautiful song
for me
& only me---
your
"only one''?

WELL

I'm willing
to bet
you don't
remember
that you had already
showed it to me,
saying it was
for HER.

                                    - YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH THE IDEA OF
                                       LOVE, NOT ME
64 · Dec 2018
Lover(boiii?)
This is me..

I am the eye of the storm and my heart

is a little broken..

But if you want me .. I'm yours
:(
64 · Jan 11
Wickedest
the damsel
left the dragons
swoop down
& steal her away
from the ugliness
of her world.

Unbeknownst to her,
she was only trading
one tower
for another.

                       - THE WICKEDEST LIARS OF ALL
60 · Dec 2018
You
You
You always just want more.

Longer kisses, longer hugs, more time spent together.

You'll drive around the block five times just to keep them another hour. Everything is another story to the bookshelf you are building..

Their happiness becomes just as important as yours. You learn to love what they love, you'll want to be better.

Because they've made you better..
5:52 p.m.
60 · Jan 7
Pretty girl
I can swear, I can joke
I say what's on my mind
If I drink, if I smoke
I keep up with the guys
And you see me holding up my middlefinger to the world
**** your ribbons and your pearls
'Cause I'm not just a pretty girl

I'm more than just a picture
I'm a daughter and a sister
Sometimes it's hard for me to show
That I'm more than just a rumor
Or a song on your computer
There's more to me than people know

Some days I'm broke, some days I'm rich
Some days I'm nice, some days I can be a *****
Some days I'm strong, some days I quit
I don't let it show, but I've been through some ****

I'm more than just a number
I'm a hater, I'm a lover
Sometimes it's hard for me to show
That I'm more than just a title
Or a comment going viral
There's more to me than people know
**** anyone that tries to pull me down <3
60 · Nov 2018
Maybe...just maybe
Maybe.. we fall
IN LOVE..
                       with sad eyes

Because we see our souls ...

Reflected in them..
?
59 · Nov 2018
Better off
We know that this won't last
Not like it used to
And I'm okay with that
But not if I lose you
I can feel it in my bones
Sinking deeper in the overflow
Can you feel it in your soul?
If I'm honest, maybe we're better off alone
My mind is falling apart
59 · Jan 8
Leave your lover
We should leave our lovers
And be with one another
Run your fingers through my hair
And hide under my covers

We should leave our lovers
We should run after each other
We can share our secrets
'Till they swallow one another

We should leave our lovers
We should, we should leave our lovers
But you'll never leave your lover, no
You'll never leave your lover

We should leave our lovers
We should leave our lovers
We should, we should leave our lovers
I need you like no other, no
I'll never find another, no

Leave me in the silence
I'll let you cut me open
Help me from the inside out
Slow motion

I feel you in my blood, baby
Bring your body closer
Love me with your sad eyes
Drain me of my color

We should leave our lovers
We should, we should leave our lovers
I need you like no other, no
I'll never find another, no

You'll never leave your lover, no
You'll never leave your lover
I need you like no other, no
I'll never find another
57 · Nov 2018
Young love (fake love..?)
How can
someone
be
too young
to be
in love
when we were
crafted
from
              ocean waves
              & starlights?
- young love
Is it really love tho..? Or is it just a game?
56 · Jan 12
If it hurts
You found my weakest spots and dig in deep
Show up with someone new just so I can see
I act out pathetic
Told you it hurts but you still don't get it
I used to think certain things bother me more than they should
But then I realized you just make me feel misunderstood
If love is pain and pain is real
Baby, if it wants you feel
I couldn't stop myself from falling for you
You turned into someone else, I wish I knew
if..
55 · Jan 1
Be happy
Tell me that you need me now
'Cause in my dreams you're still around
You've been gone for quite some time
It finally feels like you're not mine

Will you remember me?
'Cause I'll remember you
Yeah, you

You went out and found somebody new
And that still hurts
It's taken everything inside my bones
To say these words
Even if it's not with me
I just want you to be happy

I was torn and I was numb
I needed you but you needed anyone
I was bad but now I'm well
I had to lose you to find myself

Will you remember me?
'Cause I'll remember you
Yeah, you
Memories ****
53 · Nov 2018
Hate..fucking hate
It's all lies out the gate I snuck up fast,
I'm losing everything that I thought would always last
So now I lie waiting for a cure
To this poisoned and diseased
Mind I thought that had my back
Now I'm giving up, God help
I've been falling apart
Self distractive at heart
It's okay, it's okay if you hate me
I've been living my death
Over and over again
It's okay, it's okay if you hate me
'Cause I hate me
(It's ok if you hate me)
Am I blind?
I'm letting myself slip away
I'm losing every chance I get to keep myself the same
So now I hide I keep my secrets locked inside
I'll severe out the truth so the world can see my lies
Now I'm giving up, God help
**** **** **** **** **** **** ...hate myself..? Or just the world?
53 · Nov 2018
Knocking On Your Heart
Nothing makes it hard to breathe
Like being in your company
When you’ve got someone new around your arms
I thought’d I’d be over it
To see you lock with other lips
I guess I’m just no good at moving on

I always tried to
Tell myself that I’d
Fall I love with someone else
But oh my stubborn heart is set on you
And every night I
Fall asleep just so
I can see you in my dreams
And now I think you ought to know the truth



Are you listenin
I’m knocking on your heart, could you let me in
Tell me I’m the one and I’ve always been
Cause I don’t wanna wonder if we’ll ever meet again
I’m knocking on your heart, could you let me in

When you left I made you swear our love would last
No matter where
And we would call each other every night
But nights turned into weeks, turned into months
We didn’t speak
And so we lost our sense of love over time
Well..could you?
50 · Nov 2018
Mask
Bring me back to those times when people were
truthful
When true love existed
When people don’t just come and go
The mask we are wearing now getting thicker
everyday hiding the genuine within us just so to fit
in we change
Ourselves to a complete different person please turn
back
Look at what you have done to yourself
remove that mask of yours.
6’11’18 11:56 am
49 · Jan 9
F#ck him(?) :'(
Flowers have
done nothing
wrong

Yet we rip them
from their
homes

and give them
to people who
don't love
us
48 · Jan 12
Swore
I swore I would never be happy again the day you said, "Let's just be friends."

But the world goes on even when lovers go their separate ways.

So I will carry on the hopes I'll find another lover someday...
47 · Nov 2018
Ocean Minded
Your mind is like the ocean
A constant wave of emotion
For a second it was a storm
Of hate of crashing out
Now it is a calm tide of love
Surfacing about

Beneath the tides lie countless wrecks
Like memories resting inside my head
I thought I’d forgotten placed
Them deep below but they surface
From time to time
Trying to stay afloat

My mind has a never ending
Complexity I own it yet struggle to
control it
It’s  drowning in emotion
It’s struggling to keep afloat
But for now I will bathe in the
Undisputed unknown
47 · Jan 7
Medicine
Back then you used to be my medicine
We used to be so innocent

Then you turned into a drug
That won't get me high enough

Feelin' sick to my stomach, and I think I know why
I can tell something's different since we lost the fire
Every word's catastrophic, every kiss seems strange
Don't you feel like something's changed?

You up into material, don't wanna be physical
And you pretend it's alright (All of a sudden)
I feel so invisible, my condition's physical
Wish you could pause and rewind
Feelin' sick to my stomach, it's like I don't know you
I can tell something's changin' that we can't undo
Every nights a disaster, every kiss feels cold
When did we lose our control?

While you changed, I've stayed the same
46 · Nov 2018
Second Guessing
So I sit here
Rotting from inside
Now watch me sit dear
Severing my ties just ask me why
I am ashamed to pave the way
My self reluctance is to blame
Will anybody save me I'm afraid?



What if I'm broken?
What if I cannot win this fight?
Would you believe me,
Or just leave me here to die?
And honestly it's hard to see
The future that's in store for me
I'm broken!
Second guessing all that's keeping me alive

Don't believe a word I say!
I crave the ways I've been
I'd be lying to myself
If I said I'm free from this
Without the need of agony
It's bringing out the worst of my own faith
Will anybody save me I'm afraid?


Well it feels like someone's testing me
And it's easier said than done to be so calm,
But I know that you're watching me
11:03 p.m. :_:
watching
the house
that was
my sanctuary
& my ****
go up in
flames
was
bittersweet
but mostly

just sweet
                                    -  A CONFESSION
45 · Feb 24
2'24'19
Yeah, I miss the old days filled with happiness
Where we are obstacles we would tackle it
We were young it was brighter days
I wish my life could stay the same
44 · Dec 2018
Us
Us
He liked deep poetic quotes
because his mind can't process
the rush in his veins
when he hears her name.

She liked sad love songs
because she can't describe
her lonely world
without him in her life.
..I hope I'll be alright without you ..
43 · Jan 11
Fuck
Your love is like an exorcism..
I'm sorry that I did this
The blood is on my hands
I stare at my reflection
I don't know who I am
Practice my confession
In case I take the stand
I'll say I learned my lesson
I'll be a better man
I'm packing up my things and
I'm wiping down the walls
I'm rinsing off my clothes and
I'm walking through the halls
I did it all for her
So I felt nothing at all
I don't know what she'll say
So I'll ask her when she calls

"Would you love me more
If I killed someone for you?
Would you hold my hand?
They're the same ones that I used
When I killed someone for you

I hear the sirens coming
I see the flashing lights
I'm driving through the suburbs
Wearing my disguise
I show up at her doorstep
To look her in the eyes
I tell her that it's me
But she doesn't recognize
Can't you see I'm running?
Said I need a place to hide
I've gotta ask you something
Could you please let me inside?
Just let me explain
No I wouldn't tell you lies
I know you'll understand
If you let me stay the night"

Would you turn me in
When they say I'm on the loose?
Would you hide me when
My face is on the news?
'Cause I killed someone for you

You have to understand that
The one I killed is me
Changing what I was
For what you wanted me to be
I followed your direction
Did everything you asked
I hope it makes you happy
'cause there's just no turning back
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