Online, I am online , yet nobody knows.
Forsaken for long like megabytes lost,
Self-formatted, self-defragged in bitter woes,
Disconnected from ever vanishing host.
As errors in sectors broke, how story goes?
Yet I exist - subsist like file.exe to bin tossed.

Into digital dusk of zeroes and noise ,
Into pixelated ocean of electric dreams,
Wrecked down, kicked out of promised poise.
Appalling abyss it hungers, it redeems:
My love, the dearest and the simple joys.
Strange, no, just sad, like expired memes..

Then in this vastness, in world without God,
Where none has trod , nor trully smiled or wept.
I shall disperse myself, as does in water cod-
My thoughts and dreams will never be wrecked
Un-whispering and un-whispered there will I lie,
In cyberspace, as grass below and unvaulted sky.

In places that are our modern stages:
In searching bars of auctions and other pages
I looked for faith I craved for trust
But I find just little more than noisy dust

Click after click , do it again , be quick
No way to halt , motionless will make us sick.
I think I should have stopped there, then:
Once trap shuts , you are inside the den.

I could not see, because of night perhaps,
With fever of search close to collapse
Got what memory can not contain
Ideas that I nursed for long in my brain

My babies of mind offspring of thought
I had them before but now I forgot
Replaced by trends of modern waste
That chained around of my own waist

My head, once beautiful, funny and round
Got squared, - now it fits the background
I wish we were brave and therefore free,
Above blue screen what else do you see?

Autumn scattered allover  sorrow and leafs,
But sun will  shine not knowing  the griefs.
Amun -Ra in other world is happy at last:
Elvish prophet predicted the forecast.

Legends and myths give us hope everyday,
Make think how actually close is Milk Way
And Peter Apostle sometimes with Athena
Waltzing in sands of Coliseum arena .

You know, I  do believe in Jesus the Christ
Prophets of Muhammad are highly priced
I share wisdom of Gautama  the Buddha
In my dreams Vishnu appeared on Garuda.

See nymphs enjoying dew drop in a dawn
Letter on ground made by steps of a faun.
As fables flocking like river through wood,
I shall always believe in love and in Good.

Scratched letters among  fragile pages
Echoing the  melody that is so ageless
I heard them once and still remember:
The song of forest rivers in November

And far -away birds' bittersweet ring
Reflected from mind in sudden swing  ;
A handful of warmth in cold winter
I carried in a heart, -  my love's splinter.

Let tears exhibit feelings as beautiful
As lost of them made present dreadful
Do not know why  I was given to you,
But I let the road lead me as you did too.

Don't be quite- paint a sky on a window
And will be new sunrise on old meadow.
Beyond the horizon the promised place ,
Where fluffy clouds move in swift pace-

It's all what I will take there with me
It's all what I will let after me to be.

In concrete jungle I laying was-
A frozen body, nearly corpse.
For yet for me unknown cause,
Though I have heard so many warps.

I pant for air , I really tried,
When gloomy silhouette arrived
For so long waited clement strike.
My mind and flesh got dead alike.

She teared my skull and knocked on it,
The sound was dull and empty.
And brains appeared just in a fit,-
She said - "You will have plenty"

My vision almost lost and muddy
She fixed with her own eyes -
I sow even the smallest body,
And how a star with suffer dies.

Then strangled I of poison
Filled in my butchered throat.
With it my heart been moisten
Oh Gods , how did she gloat!

She cut our veins and mixed blood.
Thought mine looked as the ***** mud,
But her was like a lava flood,
And them something in me did scud.

With sense extinct and face composed
She touched my lips with last goodbye.
Her term of life was nearly closed
And then the silhouette did die.

For many years after that day
With truth I poisoned minds of people,
With burning heart I light the way
I shouted thoughts from highest steeple.

But no one's life forever draws-
Mine also never was exception
I gathered myself up, because
I have to pay my last redemption

So in concrete jungle I walking was,
When sow right body, nearly corpse...

One day I 'll climb on highest mountain
And gather from all around the grief -
Till end dried will be the bitter fountain,
So others could feel in life a bit belief .

Respect the old while passing by
So as you are they were once too
So as they are you'll be once too
Remember the old while passing by

My father told that birds we alike
So I trowed my life in a single spike-
To follow a shiny promising light,
Could I knew it was neon in night.

I'd love to learn how do not care
About things that are so little -
Like people that weirdly stare,
So one is feeling extremely brittle.

I'd love to be that simple man
Believing that all gonna be fine.
One day I'll even drop life-plan
And rise my so distorted spine.

There are people tired of life. From kinder-garden a child is destined to be endlessly obliged to "do" . Early mornings. Vegetables. Silent hour. "Be quite". Cups. Early mornings. English and painting. School. Early mornings. Lessons, Homework. Exams. Exams again. University. Early mornings.  Lectures. Exams. Work, if you are lucky(??).Early mornings. Conference. Planning meetings. Rush tasks.
"Be diligent" they say, u can rest later. Ye, sure, bang your head on the wall. Be "successful" "Effective people". Do you know about them? - Worked out your potential and bye-bye. No one cares. We don't care about caring. Not enough time sorry, someone else will care.  Study hard, work harder, plan the life, you 'll need it. Or you do not? Not?I think you need.
Classic of genre.  Couple highest educations. Lucky marriage. Successful career and respectful job. Apartment. Car. Holidays  somewhere where u'd like to be longer but u cant, because u are too successful.
System?"**** the system" ,- repeat it more often. System is you , system is me and even a guy who leaves  sarcastic comments, pretending that he is smart ****-face. We are system. No one else knows how to ***** ourselves up better than us. And so we do. No one bather. Too busy being successful. Yeah, **** us.
Feelings?Um yeah, please, a tiny bit on the top of  my career. Love ,- what the hell is that?I do not know , have red sometimes in the books. Never met, never heard. Do not be ridiculous. Affection only towards the family and career. All he rest has to be "comfortable". As friends are becoming useful "connection". When was the last time u called someone without reason and said "Hello"?

I will say goodbye to the walls
For so much they have seen
I will miss morning coffee calls
And talks we have in between

I will say goodbye to the floor
With drunken feet ever walked on it.
And knocking on colorful door ,
Expecting "come in", after hit.

And I  shall miss those hugs
I gave and got without reason:
Here I found my heavy drugs .
Those were my secret treason.

Soon we will be moving away-
Different places, different ways
But we shall meet another day,
Perhaps, It's not the final phase.

I'll open my heart to the wind
So it takes the fear of last day
For I carry memories so kind
That shall never ever fade away.

I'm just a robot with steam in the heart
Struggling hard just not to fall apart.
And oil that is dripping out of my eye...
Is it a flaw or I know how to cry?

Times I was set to life are long over,
And now for me it's left to wonder :
Will I ever have feelings to hide ,
Or there's only rust that it is inside?

Once I saw a smile so bright
Like half-moon at a night.
Was it meant for me to see,
Can I keep it close to me ?

But time would never care-
It beats you hard just there.
It forces  things  to change
And now they are so strange.

Her smile comes back to me,
Often in my poor memory.
So I turn back again the clock,
Until the day it won't work .

That ****** hours before the sleep
When a thought is a strike of whip.
Over the night and over the pale  
It torches hard my mind so frail.
No, I'm not mad, but that insanity
Whispers how can escape reality,
But, I'd rather let the flesh decay ,
Than be for my own head a prey!

On my moon I am always alone
Little lunatic among the Unknown.
Time to time  makes here a fire
And sit near full of hope and desire.

Snow will never  warm me up
Could you help it to do that ?
Or  give a warmth to the sup
Since from love I escaped I'm so fat.

Here In a land of moaning dust
With a scale in the world of immensity
Where seas are filled with the past
How can I be without insanity...

On my moon where I am alone
While nobody here to dethrone
Mind badly infected by sting
I will command myself as a king.

Somewhere between the field and sea
Lay a place one would like to see.
It's drowning not water, but in trees -
When blue hits green my eyes do freeze.

In mind I wander everywhere,
Much faster than moon sphere -
Sometimes I'm kissed by salty breeze
And then I sit in grass on knees

Swift walk upon deserted coast
Where water makes the islands' ost.
The fifteen hundred pieces of peace,
All dropped around without cease.

Then one might rest in pleasant shade,
Which is a slot by bluetts made.
And find the shelter for the mind,
Being embraced by perchance wind...

It calls my mind with vintage matter -
In here and there old castles' scatter
With cobbled roads so often looping
Among old dwellings nobly drooping.

But Lady I do argue about
Is not senile, don't have a doubt:
A neo song that beats her heart
Is kind of modern charming art.

...It's not as ancient as the rest,
Of Course, it's not even the best,
Yet I do know that land's more rare,
Than ones disguised by false compare!

Why not to think of people better?
Even if that might be a lie,
But if you think then soon or later
They may become a little better.

Somewhere there's a group of children
Without having someone to feed them
With meat we get through brutal violence
That factories don't even keep in silence.

Don't tell me that it's just some words,
They hurt like badly broken bones
You sure can cure when life affords,
If you don't live between two stones.

Today I will see morning light
Well not because I wake up early
Though often dreams are fairly
Just I won't fall asleep this night

Remember memories you wouldn't dare
With someone ever really share
They're heavy like the stones
They hurt like badly broken bones

I'll push you to embrace them all
That little step before the fall
In deepness of the conscience dirt
Until you feel that words do hurt