there is something I have never talked about;
a consummation you'd **** me for,
if you found out.
lying there with bleach blonde hair,
cold ******* gaze;
He told me He loved me in the sweetest ways.

chandelier glows soft with frozen rays
as Pretty Boy gets lost inside my crystal bouquet.
I just perch there staring down at Daddy-Babe
as He whispers heavy all the ways
He'll make me pray.

waves come in and touch my toes
as I purr into his pillow and make it known
that Babydoll's not going anywhere;
His infectious affection's got me hooked like a drug,
crying softly in his neck as he groans.
I am the closest thing to Heaven He has ever known.

all the promises He makes and keeps
lead me to believe His heart is pure
and He deserves the best of me.
of all the men I've come to love,
He's the vision of God I've been waiting for.

you were a vision of god
in the trailer light
panting in my bare chest,
praying with all your might
said with no one on this earth
had you felt as free
as when you're lying flesh to flesh
under the sheets with me
in your arms, swear that i was found
blushing blue beauty queen
listening to the sound
of your boys footsteps
outside our bedroom door
wishing they were you in here
the man i was coming for

i no longer have anything to lose
and that makes me dangerous
for i am reckless in what i choose

you broke me bad, darling,
and now i teeter on the edge
floating faster, faster, faster to my demise

headlights pass and time stands still
my mind's been blown by an urge to live
that terrifies me into complete submission

my head is in the clouds
as john speeds in and out of traffic
but i am not afraid of what could be

tommy's got his shotgun out
and i'm bleeding now, but still devout
in my new man's little church down the street

jesus calls me from the stars
and pleads with me to slow down the car
but i don't know how so i just scream

my liver is muddy and my mind is fried
i'll take anything to ease the pain of what you've done
and i'll do anyone, including your best friend

i thought you'd be my valentine,
first time in my life, no big surprise,
but you left my heart shattered across the sky

the road is my home now
and stranger's beds are where i lay my dizzy head
dazzled and confused

it was always meant to be this way
but it's easier for me to say
you were the reason for my sweet, suicidal decay

and now they've left you all alone
and you're blowing up my phone
for a piece of heaven, for a diamond covered bone

but i can't let you in again
i can't let you win
yet i take another shot and sell my soul

you feel like heaven
between my thighs
when you fill my soul
stars form before my eyes
the way you breathe is intoxicating,
primal and raw in my ear
the way you hold me is maddening,
so close to you and dear
the world melts away
when your lips meet mine
or you catch my Monroe gaze
i'm in love with you Mr. Ocean Eyes
you taste like sin
and the trouble i'm in
i'm drunk off the way you speak to me
so fast and cheap
i miss your hand clenched
around my frail throat
and your hotboxed car
filled to the brim with smoke
Daddy, don't be mean
you're forever my King
no need to doubt my loyalty
when pretty kitty treats you like royalty

they say Hollywood legends
never fade from gold,
and we know Florida's coast
will never grow cold.
I wrote you pleading letters
and to my surprise
you returned them all
with summer's untimely demise.

Honey, where'd you go?
my Love, where do you hide?
you spend every day away
with no breath of goodbye.
you fed me pearls of promise
and chased them down with wine.
I'm not ready to leave just yet,
but I'm running out of time.

I know you loved me once,
you're not that bad of a guy;
you're held with such high regard,
yet the games you play really break my heart.
I should've known you were lying
when you came back around
saying I missed your bed like that;
I know what you're trying.

I can feel you leaving again
and my heart is broke;
what I thought would be beautiful
was just a shot in the dark.
I hope you'll be happy
with another beauty at your side,
but she'll never match my boriqua
or cast my longing gaze your way.

when i was eight

my mother and i
left my ****** father
after our bar play date
and here i am now

reliving their mistakes.
i wonder if they felt the same way?

i had a boy
who i had dreamt about,
who melted away my fears
and showed me how to be devout,
but i left him,
my willing victim,
for a man who breathed my name
and believed me to be the same age
as his brother,

his juvenile brother;
and he thought it was quite alright
to sneak a peek upside
my pleated skirt

with his camcorder
and sell what he had found to his friends.
boy, that's tough.
what i once thought was love
became a funhouse maze of
broken trust and confusion
mixed in with potent smoke

and i at seventeen became the underage joke
that he sat and laughed at
while i grasped at the ledge,
tried to pull myself up,
and the boy i had loved
heard about my new crowd
and left off to college without a single sound.

he wouldn't have me
and neither would the man
who choked me out with his blood stained hand.
now i lie in his bed and cry
for i have lost everything i had
all because a blue eyed boy
promised me everything he had

and i believed him.

i see you in the dark, my darling
waiting on edge in my front yard.
i float to you engulfed in flames
preparing for a bittersweet broken heart.

was it something that slipped
from my liquor stained red painted lips?
or casper herself casting a long shadow
on your barren sahara grey walls?

how long did you know that you'd leave me?
since the last time we made love
and you slipped back into the darkness
through my window without a parting kiss?
or did you know from the very beginning
with your white corvette crystal lies?

i remember the way you fought with me
in my bed, pushing me hard to the ground,
and my heart breaks with the death of the day
to think that i'll never hear your voice again
or your low groans or feel your fist wrapped
like a diamond necklace around my throat.

you haunt my dreams and i cannot sleep,
your shadow still waltzes around my room.
you're larger than life, my burnt out elvis.
they all told me you were a big time dealer.
siesta key was once your home, but now you ride
under the radar in your cool crimson beater.

prison called and your empire almost fell,
but you can't **** the king of floridia,
for he rules the dead straight from hell
without mercy; better take what you're dealt.

pretty kitty, always ocean blue and starry eyed,
baby's a god, heaven found in my cherry pie.
queen of hearts always knows what's on your mind;
i know you'll come around again and then you will be mine.